Subconscious
Ani DiFranco Lyrics


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On one hand I'm walking
The way that I do
Looking like I'm lost in thought
But I'm looking for you

It's so subconscious
The way that I feel
Too bad my subconscious life
Is the more real

And I ain't in the best shape
That I've ever been in
But I know where I'm going
And it ain't where I've been
I know where I'm going
And it ain't where I've been

Some kind of anxiety
Has gotten hold of my heart
And I just want to run home
When I feel it start

Plastic bottles of water
Sealed windows, forced air
And gazillions of cell phones
Beaming through my (h)air

And I ain't in the best shape
That I've ever been in
But I know where I'm going
And it ain't where I've been
I know where I'm going
And it ain't where I've been

I'm tossing and turning
Between sleepless dreams
And I'm poised on the edge of
What it all means

So I turn my back
And I spread my arms wide
And I let myself fall in
Way deep inside

And I ain't in the best shape
That I've ever been in
But I know where I'm going
And it ain't where I've been




I know where I'm going
And it ain't where I've been

Overall Meaning

In the first verse, Ani DiFranco describes herself walking while lost in thought, but her subconscious is actually guiding her towards someone she is searching for. She describes her subconscious life as more real than her conscious life, implying that her true self is hidden beneath her exterior behavior. In the second verse, she acknowledges that she is not in the best physical shape, but she knows her direction and it is not her past.


Anxiety grips her heart in the following verse, and she longs to escape the outside world and retreat home. She uses descriptions of modern society - plastic bottles, sealed windows, forced air, and countless cell phones - to emphasize how technology has created a sterile, isolating environment that she finds suffocating.


In the final verse, she reveals that she is struggling with the meaning of her existence in a chaotic world. However, she chooses to let go of control and embrace the unknown by opening herself up and falling deep inside. Ani DiFranco asserts that despite being physically and emotionally worn down, she knows exactly where she is headed and it is towards a new, uncharted future.


Line by Line Meaning

On one hand I'm walking
I'm walking down a path in life


The way that I do
In a unique, personal way


Looking like I'm lost in thought
Appearing to be lost in thought, but really focused on finding someone


But I'm looking for you
Looking for someone, perhaps a romantic partner


It's so subconscious
My desires and feelings are hidden, beneath the surface


The way that I feel
The emotions inside me


Too bad my subconscious life
Unfortunately, the hidden parts of me are more influential


Is the more real
My true self is defined more by my subconscious than my conscious thoughts


And I ain't in the best shape
I'm not in the best physical or mental state


That I've ever been in
Compared to my past self


But I know where I'm going
I have direction and a sense of purpose


And it ain't where I've been
Not where I've been before or where I expected to go


Some kind of anxiety
A feeling of nervousness and unease


Has gotten hold of my heart
Anxiety has taken control of my emotions


And I just want to run home
Just want to escape and feel safe


When I feel it start
When the anxiety takes hold


Plastic bottles of water
Disposable plastic water bottles


Sealed windows, forced air
Airtight windows and climate control


And gazillions of cell phones
Countless cell phones


Beaming through my (h)air
Radiating signals through the air


I'm tossing and turning
Restlessly moving in bed


Between sleepless dreams
Dreaming but not sleeping


And I'm poised on the edge of
About to cross into


What it all means
The bigger picture, the meaning of life


So I turn my back
Turning away from the outside world


And I spread my arms wide
Opening myself up to something new


And I let myself fall in
Letting go and falling into the unknown


Way deep inside
Far beneath the surface


I know where I'm going
A clear sense of direction in life


And it ain't where I've been
Moving forward, not repeating past mistakes or habits




Lyrics © Peermusic Publishing
Written by: ANI DIFRANCO

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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