In 1989, Stephan Groth and Jon Erik Martinsen formed Apoptygma Berzerk in Norway. They wrote several songs, one of them "Ashes To Ashes" would later be released as a 12" single on the Norwegian label Tatra Productions in 1991. Martinsen left the band shortly afterwards feeling uncomfortable with the direction of the band's music. Since then the band had many lineup changes, Groth being the only constant members.
Stephan Groth claims that the band name was randomly picked out of a dictionary. Apoptygma is an old Greek word for the fold of a woman's garment. Technically the 'y' ought to be pronounced like a long 'u', but the band's name is commonly pronounced a-pop-TIG-ma or a-pop-TEEG-ma.
Apoptygma Berzerk released six studio albums so far: Soli Deo Gloria in 1993, 7 in 1996, Welcome To Earth in 2000, Harmonizer in 2002, You and Me Against the World in 2005, and Rocket Science in 2009.
The first two albums, Soli Deo Gloria and 7 were a similar style of synthpop and EBM. Welcome to Earth featured an evolved EBM/synthpop sound. Harmonizer featured a softer, more synthpop-oriented direction. You and Me Against the World represented an almost complete change in style for the band, from EBM to indie rock-oriented sound. Rocket Science continued the rock-oriented direction of their sound.
They also released three compilations (The Apopcalyptic Manifesto in 1998, The Singles Collection in 2003 , Sonic Diary in 2006), three live albums (APBL98 in 1999, APBL2000 in 2001, Imagine There's No Lennon in 2010) and three live DVDs (APBL2000 in 2001, The Harmonizer DVD in 2004, Imagine There's No Lennon in 2010).
In total, the band issued six EPs: Victims of Mutilation in 1990, The 2nd Manifesto in 1992, Mourn EP in 1997, Unicorn EP in 2004, Black EP in 2006, and Green Queen in 2009.
List of former band members:
Jon Erik Martensen: keyboards (1989)
Per Aksel Lundgreen: keyboards/manager (1991–1994)
Anders Odden: guitars (1992-1999)
Geir Bratland: keyboards/backing vocals (1995-2009)
Fredrik Darum: producer/live guitarist (1999–2001)
Ted Skogmann: drums and guitar (1999–2002)
Fredrik Brarud: drums (2002-2009)
Audun Stengel (Angel): guitars (2002-2009)
Anders Odden: guitars (2003-2006)
Official site: http://www.apoptygmaberzerk.de
Suffer in Silence
Apoptygma Berzerk Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
By turning gold to stone.
Because of my free will
I lied about it all the way.
I need to forget,
And make this tragic feeling go away
I never heard a word,
I never heard a word,
A word of what you said.
Too busy being selfish;
I never learned the rules of life.
It's hard to confess,
And look you in the eyes.
I need you to forgive,
And make this tragic feeling go away.
I know I lost.
Please let me suffer in silence.
I've said enough.
Please help me hide from the ghosts
From my past
For a while
The lyrics of "Suffer in Silence" by Apoptygma Berzerk are a confession and plea for forgiveness from the perspective of someone who has messed up and hurt those around them. The singer recognizes that their actions have turned something beautiful ("gold") into something ugly and worthless ("stone") and that they have lied about it the whole way. They feel guilty and overwhelmed by the weight of their mistake, but also seem to struggle with truly listening to and understanding others. The line "too busy being selfish; I never learned the rules of life" suggests that they have prioritized their own needs over those of others, which has led to this painful situation.
The chorus of the song expresses the singer's desire to suffer in silence and hide from their past mistakes. They feel that they have already said enough and that by continuing to talk about it, they might make things worse. At the same time, they are asking for forgiveness and hoping to put this "tragic feeling" behind them. The final line of the chorus, "for a while," implies that they know this won't be easy or quick to overcome, but they need a break from the pain.
Overall, the lyrics of "Suffer in Silence" are a poignant and relatable portrayal of the struggle to reconcile our past mistakes with our present selves. The singer recognizes their role in creating this situation, but also acknowledges that they don't have all the answers and need help to move forward. The use of imagery (gold, stone) and repetition ("I never heard a word") adds depth and emotional weight to the song, making it a powerful and cathartic listening experience.
Line by Line Meaning
I know I messed things up
I understand that my actions have caused problems
By turning gold to stone.
By my choices, I've taken something valuable and made it worthless
Because of my free will
I made these choices on my own and can't blame anyone else
I lied about it all the way.
I was dishonest in my actions and words
I need to forget,
I want to move on and leave this behind
And make this tragic feeling go away
I want to escape these negative emotions
I never heard a word,
I was too caught up in myself to listen to what you were saying
A word of what you said.
I was completely deaf to your advice or help
Too busy being selfish;
I was too focused on my own needs and desires
I never learned the rules of life.
I have failed to understand how to be a good person
It's hard to confess,
I'm struggling to admit the truth
And look you in the eyes.
I can't bear to face you because of my guilt
I need you to forgive,
I'm asking for your mercy and understanding
And make this tragic feeling go away.
I'm begging for a way to get rid of these negative emotions
I know I lost.
I realize I made the wrong choices and lost something important
Please let me suffer in silence.
I want to quietly deal with the consequences of my actions
I've said enough.
I'm done trying to explain or defend myself
Please help me hide from the ghosts
I'm hoping to avoid the painful memories of my past
From my past
The experiences and decisions that have led me to this point
For a while
I just need a temporary escape from my problems
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Andrew Sparrowhawk
I been looking for this song for 8 years I am so glad I found it.
Off Colfax
YES! Now THIS is the version I was looking for!
Aegelis
What a way to start a CD! This bombastic ear-thumper set the tone for one of the best albums ever made. Truly.
ApoptygmaBerzerkBand
❤
jackal242
Better when you include track1 from the album in front of it. Since they go together perfectly.
Fulltronpet
Here u go
/watch?v=4CM1DqxhcBk
Rob/Ashli Carrafa
Holy sh*t! This song takes me back! About a hundred emotions & memories hit he in one second. It's been yrs since I heard this!
Chaig Tin
Let's not forget the intro part "More Seratonin Please" which makes it even better!
Carla Martínez
Mucha marcha Apop!! los mejores.
inuyasha x
Thank you for putting this on here I liked this song since I was little