Royal Rumble
Astro Safari USA Lyrics

I knew this one girl who really liked wrestling
I was acquainted with a girl who had a keen interest in wrestling

Yo we should body slam she would always text me
She would often suggest we physically engage in wrestling via text messages

She says she likes it hardcore
She prefers the more intense and extreme aspects of wrestling

Baseball bats and barbed wire
She finds pleasure in the violent and hazardous elements of wrestling, such as using weapons like baseball bats and barbed wire

Thumb tacks that are on fire
She enjoys the sadistic nature of wrestling where weapons like thumb tacks are set on fire to inflict pain

Yo i think something ain't right
I feel uneasy about this situation

She threw me through a table last night
She physically threw me onto a table the previous night

She don't know it ain't real life
She fails to realize that wrestling is staged and not real

(But you should see our home movies... they're pretty tight)
Despite that, we do have some home movies that are enjoyable to watch

I'm in awe and it's awesome
I'm amazed and impressed by her wrestling skills

She's like dope it's a problem
Her proficiency at wrestling is so good that it becomes an issue

Yeah she a funny hoe
She's a peculiar and amusing person

She's always laughin'
She continuously finds things to laugh about

And her middle finger always flashin'
She frequently shows her middle finger in a joking manner

I was like girl you so stone cold
I compare her to Stone Cold Steve Austin, a famous professional wrestler known for being tough

You Steve Austin
Further emphasizing her resemblance to Stone Cold Steve Austin

Steel cage match in Madison Square Garden
A reference to a famous wrestling venue and match type, indicating their intense wrestling matches

We're just gettin' started
We're just at the beginning of our wrestling matches

Let's get ready to rumble
A phrase used to hype up a wrestling match and get people excited

I can take some bumps man
I can handle some physical pain from wrestling

I can take some tumbles
I can handle being thrown to the ground during wrestling

But she thinks that every night is like the fucking Royal Rumble
She expects every wrestling match to be as intense as the Royal Rumble, a prestigious match type in wrestling

Then I start to get a little scared
The situation is starting to frighten me

When she grabs the steel chair
She's become aggressive, picking up a steel chair to use as a weapon

Like we on the top rope girl how'd you get there
She's so skilled that she's able to get into high places like the top rope of a wrestling ring with ease

Gave me The People's Elbow last night
She performed a wrestling move called The People's Elbow on me the previous night

(Now that was pretty messed up, I wouldn't let her do that again)
That move hurt, and I won't allow her to perform it on me again

Maybe I'd be down if you calle your friend
I might be interested in wrestling with her and another person

We could have a little bout for the tag team championship
We could have a friendly wrestling match with another team

An irish whip to the ropes
A wrestling move where one person throws the other into the ropes

I'm bouncin' back with a clothesline, think the belt's mine then you
I'm recovering from the move and think I might win, but she counters with her own attack

Drops the leg drop, the Brooke Hogan
She performs a finishing move known as the leg drop, named after Brooke Hogan, the daughter of famous wrestler Hulk Hogan

Her finishing move and a slogan
She has her own signature move and catchphrase, like many famous wrestlers

I'm knocked up, I'm Seth Rogen
I'm feeling dazed and knocked around from the wrestling, like actor Seth Rogen's characters often are in his movies

What man, what you been smokin'
An exclamation questioning my state of mind, as if I'm high on drugs or something