The song "Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In the West)" is a bit autobiographical. Benny Hill had been a milkman in Eastleigh, Hampshire, working for Hanns Dairy whose premises was yards way from Market Street. There was a bakery near the dairy that did indeed have a delivery van. Having been born and raised (and eventually buried) in Southampton, Benny Hill did live in Teddington.
Gather in the Mushrooms
Benny Hill Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Though she tried she couldn't get the hang of it somehow.
The farmer looked at Lucy and murmured with a frown,
"Well you just hang on tightly, gal, and she'll jump up and down."
Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot,
Pop 'em in the oven an serve 'em piping ho-ot.
She said, "I'll have a bathful," to her milkman Jackie Wilke.
He said, "Do you want it pasturized before I pour it in?"
She said, "No, I'll be happy if it comes up to my chin."
Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot,
Pop 'em in the oven an serve 'em piping ho-ot.
The farmer called at Lucy one dark and stormy night,
She said, "You are too old for me because your hair is white."
He looked into her eyes and then he knew he'd have to tell her,
"There's snow upon the roof but there's a fire in the cellar!"
Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot,
Pop 'em in the oven an serve 'em piping ho-ot.
She took him in the kitchen, she was his turtle dove,
And then she started cooking dumplings on the stove.
She wore a low cut dress, oh it was as green as clover,
He jumped with glee 'cause he could see her dumplings boiling over.
Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot,
Pop 'em in the oven an serve 'em piping ho-ot.
She said, "You give me half a crown I will read your palm,"
And then she saw his love line went half way up his arm.
So now she's changed her prices, although she's just as willing,
It's big fat men at two pound ten and little boys a shilling.
Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot,
Pop 'em in the oven and serve 'em piping hot,
We're gonna gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot,
Pop 'em in the oven and serve them pi-ping ho-o-ot.
The lyrics to Benny Hill's song "Gather in the Mushrooms" narrate a comical story that revolves around Lucy's attempts to farm and the aftermath of her experiences on the farm. The first verses describe Lucy's failed attempts at milking a cow while the farmer advises her to hang on tightly, and the chorus involves the same people gathering mushrooms, cooking them in a pot and serving them hot. In the next verse, Lucy tries to make herself more beautiful by having a bath in milk poured in by her milkman, Jackie Wilke. In contrast, the milkman seems more interested in getting the milk pasteurized, and Lucy is okay as long as the milk level reaches her chin.
The story continues with the farmer, who visits Lucy on a dark and stormy night, but she rejects him for having white hair, to which he replies that although there's snow on the roof, there's a fire in the cellar. The chorus then repeats, with Lucy and the farmer gathering mushrooms, putting them in a pot, and serving them hot. The last verse displays Lucy's talent as a fortune teller, where she changes her fees to read different palms, depending on their love lives. While an amusing song, "Gather in the Mushrooms" highlights Hill's humor with wordplay and innuendo, demonstrating his skills as a songwriter and comedian.
Line by Line Meaning
Lucy went down on a farm, tried to milk a cow,
Though she tried she couldn't get the hang of it somehow.
Lucy attempted to milk a cow on a farm, but she couldn't do it correctly.
The farmer looked at Lucy and murmured with a frown,
"Well you just hang on tightly, gal, and she'll jump up and down."
The farmer suggested to Lucy to hold the cow tightly to make it jump up and down.
To make herself more beautiful she thought she'd bathe in milk,
She said, "I'll have a bathful," to her milkman Jackie Wilke.
Lucy thought bathing in milk would make her more attractive, so she asked her milkman named Jackie Wilke to fill up her bath with milk.
He said, "Do you want it pasturized before I pour it in?"
She said, "No, I'll be happy if it comes up to my chin."
Jackie Wilke asked Lucy if she wants the milk pasteurized before filling up her bath, but she said she'd be satisfied if it just fills up to her chin.
The farmer called at Lucy one dark and stormy night,
She said, "You are too old for me because your hair is white."
One stormy night, the farmer visited Lucy, and she rejected him by saying he's too old because of his white hair.
He looked into her eyes and then he knew he'd have to tell her,
"There's snow upon the roof but there's a fire in the cellar!"
The farmer looked into Lucy's eyes and realized he had to tell her that he may look old, but he's still able and willing to perform sexually.
She took him in the kitchen, she was his turtle dove,
And then she started cooking dumplings on the stove.
Lucy took the farmer to the kitchen and prepared dumplings on the stove for him.
She wore a low cut dress, oh it was as green as clover,
He jumped with glee 'cause he could see her dumplings boiling over.
Lucy wore a revealing dress while cooking, and the farmer got excited seeing her dumplings overflowing.
She said, "You give me half a crown I will read your palm,"
And then she saw his love line went half way up his arm.
Lucy offered to read the farmer's palm for half a crown and saw that his love line extended halfway up his arm.
So now she's changed her prices, although she's just as willing,
It's big fat men at two pound ten and little boys a shilling.
After discovering the farmer's impressive love line, Lucy changed her palm reading prices according to the customer's physical attributes.
Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot,
Pop 'em in the oven and serve 'em piping hot,
We're gonna gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot,
Pop 'em in the oven and serve them pi-ping ho-o-ot.
Regardless of the various events happening in the song, the repeated chorus emphasizes gathering mushrooms and cooking them to serve them hot.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: B. HILL
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@violetwalker6153
Just found this. So funny and also enjoying all the music you have posted. I’ll tune in more often. ❤
@rafhenlow
We had such a mixture of music way back, i'm in my 70's, brought up on this stuff. Love it!
@ildertonmann4086
Thanks for this, I was a big Benny Hill fan when I was a kid & this was bought for me when I was 8! The flip-side is 'Pepys Diary' which is just as good. BH was a comedy genius & was hounded off the telly, in much the same way as comedians are cancelled nowadays. He was stabbed in the back by some younger alternative, so-called comedians.
@JamieBoy-ij2ri
I can still hear bits of Ernie in this song
@philboboggins
used to listen to this on my dads radiogram,(google it kids) really takes me back. thanks for posting this one
@originalveghead
"A nude song, in the modern idiot" brilliant - thanks for posting this! Also I did spot the Ernie line - he did tend to reuse jokes across years in his songs, but that's fair enough for a career as long as his.
@brandonmuir5117
And everytime he reuses a joke... even though we know it's coming... still hilarious!!
@AngryCanadian1971
Would LOVE to have this 45" in my collection.
@laracollard5009
My dAd loved this played it to death along with Ernie...dumplings boiling over ha ha!!
@scrabbler85310
Thanks VinylFun for this. I think that the answer to your question is... "Do you want it pasteurised before I pour it in? She said "No I'll be happy if it comes up to my chin" ".