As Long as We're Talking Shelf Life
Bill Hicks Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

Please pay attention to this preflights safety announcements for Glamazonian Airways

All: Welcome Aboard. Glamazonian Airways
Katya: Hello everybody! Is During This Evening! Welcome Aboard I'm Miss Valerie Valentine.
I'm your economy slash coach stewardess or you could call me a flight attendant,
But I don't care for that word "attendant" cause it makes me sound like a waiter or somebody -- I'm not.
I appreciate your attention at this time. We should be taking off shortly. I would expect all kind of madness and turbulence to ensue.
Please fully recline your chairs, turn on the massage function, and get ready to be happy, hunny.
All: Welcomeeeeee Aboard Glamazonian Airways The queens of the sky
There are 8, 000 people on board!
Now listen up. Listen up
Looking for an exit
I'll make it clear.
There are two in the front and one in the rear.
You don't give a beep unless you a frequent flyer
Smoking ain't allowed unless your pussy on fire
All: ohhhh we keep our wigs in the overhead bins. We do
All: Oh, so none of your BEEP is gonna fit in. Sorry bout it
Trixie: If you drink enough alcohol you can fly anywhere, and you don't need a plane.
There's a seat belt seatt belt in each of your seats.
It's there to make you skinny
It's gonna be pulled real tight, real tight, real tight, real tight
All: tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter
Katya: Now really that is far too tight. How do you expect anyone to breathe?
When the oxygen mask drop down.
Soaring through clouds and everyone feels it.
Sucking it in and out getting so high
We can't believe it
All your troubles They'll still be.
Simply come imagination.
Take my hands and fly with me.
On a transworld transportation
Max: There's a man on the window of the plane.
Trixie: It's a woman
Max: It's a man
Trixie: It's a woman

Max: It's a man

Katya: I believe they call them "drag queens

Ginger: If you wanna stay safe. You gotta do what mama says.

All: And be ___ of a water landing. There's only one thing you better do and let's have no misunderstanding none of us is gonna wait for you. You better use this padded ass as a flotation device or else you'll drown.

Kandy: This is only a test.

Ginger: Ahhh!!!

Jasmine: He used to take me to the cockpit. He blindfolded me and say unspeakable things. "Gibberish" And I loved it. I loved it!! OHH I LOVED IT!!!

Kandy: Don't kiss the pilot or he'll fly you away in a moment you'll never forget.

Jaydinn: Nothing you feltis like his manly embrace as he guides you to his cockpit.

Sasha: There are so many things you can do "in your wings?" but never ever ever ever kiss the pilot.

All: Cause that pilot "is, that pilot man is mine?"

Kandy: You bitch
Sasha: OHH!
Ginger: What-ah-.
MKD: You!!
Jasmine: AHH!
Kennedy: And now the "main?" captain of glamazonian airways is proud to present the vocal styling of Miss. Anita Napkin.
MKD: Hi everybody I'm here to tell you to put up your tray tables. Please "SCAT PART"" Put up your tray, Put up your tray tables..." Please put it up now! Put up your.
Jasmine: "Laugh" Wasn't she just great ladies and gentlemen? I had no idea you were so into scat.
Fart noise!!
Kennedy: Oh girl!
Jasmine: Well must I tell you not to fart? I ain't you drag mom. We'll call the TSA if you drop a booty bomb.
Kennedy: The windows never open. There is no way to ventilate but we got Rupaul perfume and we sell it by the case.
Jasmine: Rupaul's glamazon perfume.




All: Glamazonian airways. Glamazonian airways. We are the queens of the sky.
MKD: Come on bitches show them how to WORK. WORK IT BITCH. WORK! WORK IT BITCH WORK...

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Bill Hick's song "As Long as We're Talking Shelf Life" are a satirical take on the airline industry and the experience of flying. The song is a mock safety announcement from the Glamazonian Airways, complete with over-the-top instructions on how to behave on a flight, cheeky comments on sexual behavior, and jokes about inflated seat belts, wig storage, and oxygen masks.


Through the lyrics, Hick's mocks the stereotypes associated with airline employees, like the use of the term "flight attendant" instead of a more traditional title, and the over-the-top customer service tone that is often employed. The song also highlights the absurdity of airline safety regulations and protocols, with references to padded flotation devices and specific instructions on where to find emergency exits.


The performers in the song are drag queens, adding an extra layer of humor to the mix. The lyrics also make several references to sexual innuendo, with lines about drinking alcohol to fly and kissing the pilot. The use of such language adds to the satirical tone of the song, as it subverts traditional airline safety announcements and turns them into a fun and cheeky experience.


Overall, "As Long as We're Talking Shelf Life" is a clever and humorous take on the airline industry, poking fun at its regulations and stereotypes while also celebrating the absurdity of flying.


Line by Line Meaning

Please pay attention to this preflights safety announcements for Glamazonian Airways
We need your attention for the safety announcements before our flight on Glamazonian Airways.


Hello everybody! Is During This Evening! Welcome Aboard I'm Miss Valerie Valentine.
Greetings everyone! It's great to have you here this evening on Glamazonian Airways. My name is Miss Valerie Valentine.


I'm your economy slash coach stewardess or you could call me a flight attendant,
I'm here to assist you in the economy or coach section of the plane, but you could also refer to me as a flight attendant.


But I don't care for that word "attendant" cause it makes me sound like a waiter or somebody -- I'm not.
I don't like the term "attendant" because it implies that I am a waiter or something similar, which I am not.


I appreciate your attention at this time. We should be taking off shortly. I would expect all kind of madness and turbulence to ensue.
Thank you for listening. We will be taking off soon. Please prepare for the possibility of turbulence during our flight.


Please fully recline your chairs, turn on the massage function, and get ready to be happy, hunny.
Please recline your chairs, turn on the massage function, and get ready for a comfortable and enjoyable flight.


There are 8, 000 people on board!
There are many passengers on our flight- roughly 8,000 to be exact.


Now listen up. Listen up
Pay attention now, everyone.


Looking for an exit I'll make it clear. There are two in the front and one in the rear.
In the event of an emergency, there are two exits located at the front and one located at the rear of the plane.


You don't give a beep unless you a frequent flyer
If you are not a frequent flyer, you may not care about certain details of our flight.


Smoking ain't allowed unless your pussy on fire
Smoking is not allowed on the plane except for in the case of a dire emergency.


ohhhh we keep our wigs in the overhead bins. We do
Our wigs are stored in the overhead bins on the plane.


Oh, so none of your BEEP is gonna fit in. Sorry bout it
Your larger items may not fit in the overhead bins, unfortunately.


If you drink enough alcohol you can fly anywhere, and you don't need a plane.
Alcohol can give you the sensation of flying, but please do not attempt to fly without a plane.


There's a seat belt seatt belt in each of your seats.
Each seat on the plane has a seat belt for your safety.


It's there to make you skinny
The seat belt is meant to fasten securely around your waist for your safety, not to make you look thinner.


It's gonna be pulled real tight, real tight, real tight, real tight
The seat belt must be pulled tight for proper effectiveness.


tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter
Please adjust your seat belt as tightly as possible.


Now really that is far too tight. How do you expect anyone to breathe?
Some passengers may find the seat belt too tight and uncomfortable.


When the oxygen mask drop down.
In case of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will be released from above.


Soaring through clouds and everyone feels it.
Flying through clouds can be a thrilling and exciting experience for passengers on the plane.


Sucking it in and out getting so high We can't believe it
Inhaling the recycled air on the plane can give passengers a sense of being high in the sky.


All your troubles They'll still be. Simply come imagination. Take my hands and fly with me. On a transworld transportation
You may still have problems or stresses in your life, but during our flight, let your imagination soar and use this opportunity to relax.


There's a man on the window of the plane.
There is a passenger sitting by the window on the plane.


It's a woman
This passenger by the window is actually a woman.


I believe they call them "drag queens
This passenger by the window is likely a drag queen.


If you wanna stay safe. You gotta do what mama says.
In order to ensure your safety during the flight, please follow the guidelines given by the flight crew.


And be ___ of a water landing. There's only one thing you better do and let's have no misunderstanding none of us is gonna wait for you. You better use this padded ass as a flotation device or else you'll drown.
In the event of a water landing, use the cushion of your seat as a flotation device to prevent drowning, as there may not be time for rescue.


This is only a test.
This announcement is just a test and not a real emergency.


He used to take me to the cockpit. He blindfolded me and say unspeakable things. "Gibberish" And I loved it. I loved it!! OHH I LOVED IT!!!
This statement is inappropriate and should not be said on an airplane.


Don't kiss the pilot or he'll fly you away in a moment you'll never forget.
Do not approach or kiss the pilot of the plane as this could cause a disturbance and distract from their important duties.


Nothing you feltis like his manly embrace as he guides you to his cockpit.
This statement is inappropriate and should not be said on an airplane.


There are so many things you can do "in your wings?" but never ever ever ever kiss the pilot.
While many things can be done during a flight for entertainment, please do not try to kiss the pilot.


Cause that pilot "is, that pilot man is mine?"
This statement is inappropriate and should not be said on an airplane.


Come on bitches show them how to WORK. WORK IT BITCH. WORK! WORK IT BITCH WORK...
This statement is inappropriate and should not be said on an airplane.


Well must I tell you not to fart? I ain't you drag mom. We'll call the TSA if you drop a booty bomb.
Please do not pass gas on the plane and if you do feel the need to do so, please use the bathroom.


The windows never open. There is no way to ventilate but we got Rupaul perfume and we sell it by the case.
There is no way to open the windows on the plane, but we do have Rupaul perfume for sale to help make the air more pleasant.


Glamazonian airways. Glamazonian airways. We are the queens of the sky.
Welcome to Glamazonian Airways- where we pride ourselves on our high level of service and comfort in the sky.


Hi everybody I'm here to tell you to put up your tray tables. Please "SCAT PART"" Put up your tray, Put up your tray tables..." Please put it up now! Put up your.
Please put your tray tables in the upright position at this time.


"Laugh" Wasn't she just great ladies and gentlemen? I had no idea you were so into scat.
This statement is inappropriate and should not be said on an airplane.




Contributed by Eva G. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

Genre not found
Artist not found
Album not found
Song not found

More Versions