The Real Blues
Biscuit Boy AKA Crackerman Lyrics

I shoulda learned the blues guitar
I regret not learning how to play blues music on guitar

Slunk in the corner of a local bar
I should have spent more time in dingy bars where blues is played

Sweet home Chicago, but not that far
Chicago is famous for its blues music, but it doesn't have to be the only place to find it

Remember your shoes when you follow a star
Don't forget the basics, even when chasing after your dreams

You can't sing, "My baby gone done me wrong"
You can't sing about lost love if you've already reconciled

If you've kissed and made up by the end of the song
If you've patched things up with your lover, then singing mournful songs is insincere

And it don't make sense to sing, "I'm lonely and blue"
It's untruthful to sing about being lonely when there are plenty of potential lovers around

As soon as she's gone, there's twenty more in the queue
There's always someone else to love, especially in a big city

I shoulda learned to blow the harp
I should have learned how to play the harmonica

But blow the harp, your troubles start
Playing the harmonica can be a painful reminder of the issues you're trying to forget

You bend the notes then fall apart
Harmonica playing can be emotionally overwhelming

Shut your mouth and mute your heart
Sometimes it's best to keep your emotions suppressed

If it seems she's the reason this lonely heart bled
If it appears that your former lover caused your heartache

You can bet there's a replacement waiting under the bed
There's always someone else vying for your affection

If he screams at her so bad, now she's gone for good
If he mistreats his partner, she's likely to leave him permanently

It'll be the rent he has to pay in a new neighbourhood
He will have to pay a heavy price in a future relationship

Let's sing the real sad blues
Let's sing the authentic, emotionally genuine blues

I shoulda known to learn the sax
I should have learned how to play the saxophone

To paper over the personal cracks
Playing music can be a coping mechanism to hide emotional pain

To play a solitary note
Sometimes, even one singular note can express deep feelings

The loner's longest anecdote
Sometimes the most solitary and introverted people have the most to say

Singing, "Baby, come back" is the finest of arts
Making someone want to come back to you is an impressive feat

He'll make it sound like it's direct from his heart
A skilled singer can make their performance sound like a sincere cry from the soul

He's pleading you're together but he's loving apart
He's saying one thing, but his actions show that he's not really invested in the relationship

And you'll see straight through if you're quick and you're smart
If you're perceptive, you can tell when someone's trying to manipulate or deceive you

I shoulda taught myself one tune
I should have learned how to play one song really well

That attracted folk from other room
I should have learned a song catchy enough to draw in new listeners

A party piece to woo the guests
I should have learned a song that would make people want to dance and have fun

When neither looks nor words impress
When your physical appearance and speech aren't enough to make people take notice

When singing, she's leaving, there's a crack in his voice
When singing about lost love, a genuine performer's voice may crack with emotion

'Cause no one who left was ever offered the choice
When someone leaves a relationship, they don't often have the choice to stay

Baby returns all the flowers I sent
After a breakup, your former lover might return the gifts you've given them

'Cause she's used to getting presents that are only to lend
Your former lover knows that your gifts weren't given out of genuine affection

So he sings of a love he could never quite find
He sings about a love he never truly experienced

The soul I was searching, but never aligned
He was looking for a deeper connection than he was able to find

I'm not short-sighted, but it's never been blind
He didn't rush into relationships without thinking, but he also never found a truly fulfilling one

The love that he discovered wasn't her kind
He never found someone who was truly compatible with him

I shoulda learned the eight-bar blues
I should have studied the eight-bar blues structure for creating music

But first you gotta have enough to lose
The best blues music comes from people who have suffered significant personal losses

That loner with a boner ploy
The idea that a lonely man is more attractive to women is a misguided and offensive stereotype

You gotta lose a girl before you're a bachelor boy
You don't become a true bachelor until you've experienced the pain of losing a relationship

So the truth comes out at the end of the song
After a blues song has been performed, the truth behind the lyrics is often revealed

You can't sing it right if your life is so wrong
In order to create authentic blues music, you have to have struggled and experienced pain in your life

The deepest blues and the saddest refrain
The most authentic blues music reflects deep sadness and pain

Is locked up tight with a clock on your brain
Painful memories are difficult to forget and can haunt someone for a long time

(Real sad blues) You could spend all your life trying to master the beat
Creating truly authentic blues music is a lifelong pursuit

(Real sad blues) 'Cause you can't feel the blues unless you've got wet feet
You have to experience the tough realities of life to really feel and understand blues music

(Real sad blues) Sing a real sad, real sad, ah
Authentic blues music should feel genuinely, truly sad

(Real sad blues) Let's sing the real sad blues
Let's create authentic, emotionally resonant blues music

(Real sad blues) The money you blow, the trains that you miss
Sometimes the things that cause us pain the most are our own mistakes

(Real sad blues) You can't sing the blues if you're an Annie or Chris
You can't create authentic blues music without having experienced significant personal loss

(Real sad blues) No better than the lurch, secretaries behind
There's no shame in being single or working a low-paying job

(Real sad blues) Lower than the fact than he acts it refined
People who put up a facade of refinement may actually be more emotionally damaged than they let on

(Real sad blues) Let's sing a real sad blues
Let's create sincere, mournful blues music