The Twelve Days of Christmas
Bob & Doug McKenzie Lyrics
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and you can play this at your Christmas parties, uh,
or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do.
Doug- Good day, eh?
In case you thought, like, I wasn't on this part!
Bob- Oh, I guarantee ya, you'd be on.
we're gonna tell you what to get, uh, your true love for Christmas.
Doug- Look out the window!
Bob- Where?! Whadda ya doing?
Doug- Snow, hosehead.
Bob- Wha? Oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing,
cause it's Christmas time.
Hey, hoser!
Doug- What?
Bob- Here's a quiz. Quiz for Doug.
Doug- Okay, I have my thinking touque on.
Bob- Yeah, right. What are the twelve days of Christmas?
Cause, figure it out, right. Christmas is when?
Doug- Uh, the 25th.
Bob- Right, and what's the 24th, Christmas Eve, right?
So, that's two. And then, what's after that?
Doug- Um... Uh, Wrestling Day.
Bob- No. Get out.
Doug- Boxing Day, yeah, yeah.
Bob- That's three. Then what's after that? Nothing.
Doug- New Year's.
Bob- Four. And what's...
Doug- New Year's Eve.
Bob- Five. Where do you get twelve?
Doug- Uh... There's two Saturdays and Sundays in there, that's four.
That's nine. And, three other days, which I believe are the mystery days.
(Music starts.)
Bob- Okay now. This is our Christmas song,
in case you don't know what to get somebody for Christmas.
Doug- There's lots of ideas in here, so, listen, and don't get stuck.
Bob- Okay.
Doug- By the way, that's me on the organ.
Bob- Aw, geez.
Doug- You start.
Bob- Okay. On the first day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: a beer.
Doug- On the second day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: two turtlenecks,
Bob- And a beer. (Okay...) On the third day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: three French toast,
Doug- Two turtlenecks,
Bob- And a beer. (Okay...)
Doug- There should be more there, eh?
Bob- Where? On the... go.
Doug- Fourth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: four pounds of backbacon,
Bob- Three French toast,
Doug- Two turtlenecks,
Bob- And a beer.
Doug- In a tree. See, you need more.
Bob- Fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden touques!
Doug- Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob- Three French toast,
Doug- Two turtlenecks,
Bob- And a beer, what was it?
Together- In a tree!
Bob- Okay, on the sixth... go.
Doug- Of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six packs of two-four,
Bob & BG Singers- Five golden touques!
Doug- Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob- Three French toast,
Doug- Two turtlenecks,
Bob- And a beer,
Together- In a tree!
Bob- Okay.
Doug- Okay.
Bob- On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: seven packs of smokes,
Doug- (Nice gift...) Oh, six packs of two-four!
(BG Singers also sing "nice gift".)
Bob & BG Singers- Five golden touques!
Doug- Four pounds of backbacon,
Bob- Three French toast,
Doug- Two turtlenecks,
Bob- And a beer,
Together- In a tree!
Bob- Right, I keep forgetting.
Doug- Phew! This should just be the two days of Christmas,
it's too hard for us!
Bob- Um...
Doug- Go, hoser.
Bob- Oh.
Together- Eigth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Doug- Eight comic books,
All- Seven packs of smokes, six packs of two-four,
(Bob and Doug become unsynchronized with the BG Singers, and quit singing.)
BG Singers- Five golden touques!
Four pounds of backbacon,
three French toast,
two turtlenecks,
All- And a beer,
Doug- On my tree!
Bob- Yeah. That beer's empty. Okay. Day,
BG Singers- Twelve!
Bob- Uh, twelve.
Doug- Good day, and welcome to day twelve.
BG Singers- Five golden touques!
All- Four pounds of backbacon,
three French toast,
two turtlenecks,
and a beer, in a tree!
Bob- Beauty, eh?
Doug- Where'd you learn to do that?
Bob- Uh, albums.
Doug- Boy. So, like, that's our song, Merry Christmas...
Bob- Merry Christmas!
Doug- And good day!
Bob- Good day, everybody. Happy New Year, too.
Sheesh. Okay, you know what you left out?
Doug- What?
Bob- Donuts - I told you to get me donuts!
Either on the ninth day or the tenth day,
or the eleventh day, I wanted donuts!
Doug- Okay, the song's over.
Bob- But I want...
Doug- Merry Christmas, everybody!
Bob- Or on the twelfth day, you coulda got me a dozen donuts.
Doug- So, go out to the stores, and get some presents.
Bob- You coulda gone down to, like, the good donut shop,
where if you buy a dozen, you get another one free,
and then thirteen for the thirteen days of Christmas.
Doug- Well, next Christmas, I'll get me a chainsaw...
Bob- Take off!
Doug- Boy, that song was a beauty. It moved me...
Bob- Yeah, I think it ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven...
Doug- Wha-?
The Bob & Doug McKenzie's song "Twelve Days of Christmas" is a humorous parody of the classic Christmas song. In the beginning of the song, Bob and Doug introduce themselves and their Christmas album. They discuss what to get their true love for Christmas and play a quiz game to figure out the 12 days of Christmas. They then launch into their version of the song, which includes absurd gifts like back bacon, turtlenecks, and packs of cigarettes. The song gets sillier and more nonsensical as they go on, with Bob and Doug struggling to keep up with the singing and remembering the gifts they've already mentioned.
The lyrics of the song are meant to be funny and tongue-in-cheek. It's a lighthearted interpretation of the classic Christmas carol that takes a more irreverent approach. The humor comes from the ridiculous gifts they come up with and the playful banter between Bob and Doug. The song is meant to be entertaining and bring a smile to the listener's face during the holiday season.
Line by Line Meaning
Okay, good day, this is our Christmas part of the album,
and you can play this at your Christmas parties, uh,
or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothing else to do.
Welcome to the Christmas segment of our album. You can play this at your Christmas parties or listen to it alone on Christmas Eve if you have no other plans for the night.
Good day, eh?
Hello there, fellow Canadian.
Oh, I guarantee ya, you'd be on.
Okay, so, good day, this is the Christmas part, and,
we're gonna tell you what to get, uh, your true love for Christmas.
Of course you'd be here. This is our Christmas segment and we will be advising you on what presents to buy your loved ones for Christmas.
Wha? Oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing,
cause it's Christmas time.
Hey, hoser!
Oh! It's snowing because it's Christmas in Canada - also known as 'The Great White North.' Hey you, our dearest friend!
Cause, figure it out, right. Christmas is when?
Think about it, eh. When is Christmas?
No. Get out.
No, you absolute buffoon. Leave immediately.
Where do you get twelve?
I'm sorry, but where did you find twelve days?
There's two Saturdays and Sundays in there, that's four.
That's nine. And, three other days, which I believe are the mystery days.
There are two Saturdays and two Sundays which amounts to 4 days. Add that to the 25th, 26th, New Year's Eve and Day which amounts to 9 days. There are still three days left which seem to be unknown or uncertain.
Okay now. This is our Christmas song,
in case you don't know what to get somebody for Christmas.
Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you our very own Christmas song. This should help you with gift ideas.
There's lots of ideas in here, so, listen, and don't get stuck.
There are a lot of ideas for gifts in this song so listen carefully and do not get stuck on what to get for your loved one.
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: a beer.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a refreshing bottle of beer.
And a beer. (Okay...) On the third day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: three French toast,
And another beer, alright. On the third day of Christmas, my love showered me with three French toasts.
There should be more there, eh?
Shouldn't there be more gifts on that day, eh?
Fourth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: four pounds of backbacon,
On the fourth day of Christmas, I was given the delicious gift of four pounds of backbacon.
In a tree. See, you need more.
In a tree along with the other gifts. You ought to have more gifts, don't you agree?
Fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: five golden touques!
The fifth day of Christmas brought me five beautiful golden touques.
Sixth of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six packs of two-four,
Six packs of two-four were given to me on the sixth day of Christmas by my sweet love.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me: seven packs of smokes,
The seventh day was celebrated with seven packs of smokes which were very much appreciated as a gift.
Eight day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Eight comic books,
The eighth day of the holiday season resulted in eight comic books being added to my collection.
Phew! This should just be the two days of Christmas,
it's too hard for us!
Whew, this is just too much! We would be better off with just the two days of Christmas. This is getting too hard for us to handle.
Eigth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Eight comic books
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave me eight entertaining comic books.
Four pounds of backbacon,
and a beer, in a tree!
Four pounds of delicious backbacon paired with a refreshing beer, all resting in a tree as part of my present.
Where'd you learn to do that?
Where did you learn to do that amazing thing that you just did?
But I want...
But I really wanted some donuts along with this lovely song.
Take off!
Get lost!
Boy, that song was a beauty. It moved me...
Boy, that song was truly amazing and deeply inspiring to me.
Wha-?
What do you mean?
Lyrics Β© Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: BARBARA BAZALDUA, GERALDINE GOUZERH, BEN HOPPE, JAMES LATHAM, SHARI OKAMOTO, RICHARD TEAGUE, TRADITIONAL
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@tristanchan4949
Since this goes up to eight, I thought of four other ones for this song (followed by their lyrics)
Twelve hockey players
Eleven beaver tails
Ten caribou
Nine ice skates (and then of course)
Eight comic books
Seven packs of smokes
Six packs of two-fours
FIVE GOLDEN TOQUES
Four pounds of back bacon
Three French toast
Two turtlenecks
And a beer in a tree
@chris_wizzudz
If they could replace "All I Want for Christmas is You" on the radio with this absolute masterpiece, the Christmas season would be 100x better.
@aclark903
Are you Mariahβs ex or something?
@chris_wizzudz
@@aclark903 Nah, just donβt like her music
@aclark903
@@chris_wizzudz #butterflyMariah
@65coupestang
WHAT THEY NEED TO PUT ON THE RADIO TO MAKE THE CHRISTMAS SEASON 100 TIMES BETTER IS SOME JEFF FOXWORTHY'S TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
@DoobieFerguson
Funnily enough, I found this song from my local radio station. Shout out DC101
@entr3_nou5
Something about the dead silence after βand a beerβ and how off time everything is has me wheezing
@butfl1der
I'm nursing my baby to sleep and so can't laugh, which, on top of that, makes it ten times funnier! I am having the hardest time not bursting out laughing!
@TheBrannagan
Lovin your screen name!
@davidlafleche1142
Even better: Green Christmas by Stan Freberg