Powell was perhaps the first pianist to vocalize on the piano, meaning that he transfered his vocalized improvisations directly through his hands to the instrument. This gave his music a deep connection to time, which is an artifact of the human voice. Previously, horn players were more likely to express their improvisations vocally, as the mouth and breath are directly tied to the performance of horn players.
Powell suffered from Bi-Polar Disorder, and in November 1947, Powell was admitted to Creedmoor Psychiatric Center, where he stayed for more than a year, receiving electroconvulsive therapy which caused severe memory loss. The young Jackie McLean and Sonny Rollins became friendly with Powell on his release from the hospital, and Powell recommended McLean to Miles Davis. However, Powell suffered from mental illness throughout his life, and had a reputation for his strange behaviour. In fact his problems, exacerbated by a beating from the police in 1945 for being disorderly, could all be attributed to being a manic depressive, although his illness was almost certainly a key driver of his immense creative talent. He was also an alcoholic, and even small quantities of alcohol had a profound effect on his character, making him aggressive. Powell's continued rivalry with Charlie Parker, while essential to the production of brilliant music, was also the subject of disruptive feuding and bitterness on the bandstand, as a result of Powell's troubled mental and physical condition. He spent all of 1952 (and parts of many subsequent years) in a hospital. When he was out of the hospital, he was often locked up in a hotel room and was usually denied receiving the money he earned performing.
It is generally agreed that his best recordings are those made prior to 1954, both for Blue Note Records and for Norman Granz (at Mercury Records, Norgran Records, Clef Records and later on Verve Records).
After 1953 (when Powell attempted suicide), his style became darker and slower. Many jazz critics pronounced him "washed up" during the last decade of his career. There were a few recordings which never should have been issued (Verve from January 1955 and Roulette Oct. 1964). Still, he continued to play with great intensity even without the speed that made him famous in the 1940s. His late 1950s Blue Note recordings are recommended. Bud performed regularly with drummer Kenny Clarke and bassists Oscar Pettiford or Pierre Michelot. He performed brilliantly as a sideman for Coleman Hawkins, Dizzy Gillespie, and Dexter Gordon on recordings in the early 1960s. As late as 1962 he recorded concerts in Lausanne and Geneva, Switzerland, in which he played as brilliantly as he had played in the late 1940s. Powell moved to France in 1959, when his life was extended by several years under the care of a fan named Francis Paudras, whose book "Dance of the Infidels" is required reading for any Powell fan. Paudras' friendship produced many impromptu recordings and was the basis for the 1987 Bernard Tavenier film "Round Midnight", for which Dexter Gordon received a best actor Oscar nomination (as a fictional composite of Bud Powell and Lester Young).
Paudras and Powell returned to Birdland in the fall of 1964 to initial critical acclaim. Bud despised the drummer he had to play with and soon lost his regular engagement at Birdland. After Paudras returned to France without Powell, ESP-disk's founder became Bud's legal guardian, but let Bud self-destruct from late 1964 until his death in July, 1966. Bud's last recordings were a haunting, sparse "Round Midnight" from Carnegie Hall in March 1965 and other trio tracks from January 1966 on the mysterious "Ups 'n Downs" album.
He is survived by his daughter Celia, who has been reissuing Paudras' recordings of her father on the Pablo and Piadrum labels.
If You Could See Me Now
Bud Powell Lyrics
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One look is all you'd need to see the mood I'm in.
Perhaps then you'd realize I'm still in love with you.
If you could see me now, you'd find me being brave
And trying awfully hard to make my tears behave
But that's quite impossible, I'm still in love with you.
You'll happen my way on some mem'rable day
I'll try to smile but can I play the part
Without my heart behind the smile?
The way I feel for you I never could disguise
The look of love is written plainly in my eyes.
I think you'd be mine again if you could see me now.
The lyrics of "If You Could See Me Now" by Bud Powell express the sentiment of a broken-hearted person who still harbors feelings of love for someone who is no longer with them. The singer is confident that if the person they still love could see them now, they would understand the depths of their emotion. The first stanza indicates the singer is in a melancholic mood and wants their former love interest to see this. The second stanza reflects on the possibility of seeing the person again and how it could impact them emotionally. The singer hopes their true feelings are visible in their eyes, and if they could be seen, their former love interest might reconsider their feelings for them.
The lyrics of this jazz classic illustrate a strong sense of yearning for a past love, with a hint of sorrow and honesty. The tune's haunting melody intensifies the lyrics' message, delivering a heart-wrenching lamentation about the persistence of love despite separation. Listeners can feel the raw emotion put into words by the songwriter, and the tune has struck a chord with audiences and other artists alike.
Line by Line Meaning
If you could see me now, you'd know how blue I've been
If you were here to witness my current state of mind, you'd understand how sad and melancholic I've been feeling lately.
One look is all you'd need to see the mood I'm in.
A single glance at me would suffice for you to determine the emotional state I am currently experiencing.
Perhaps then you'd realize I'm still in love with you.
Maybe if you saw me now, you would finally comprehend that I still have strong feelings for you.
If you could see me now, you'd find me being brave
In the hypothetical scenario where you were in my presence, you would notice that I am attempting to remain courageous and composed.
And trying awfully hard to make my tears behave
My efforts to hold back my tears are significant while being in your imaginary presence.
But that's quite impossible, I'm still in love with you.
Unfortunately, it is a task that is beyond just trying; the reason is that I still hold you dearly in my heart.
You'll happen my way on some mem'rable day
Someday, you might incidentally come across me.
And the month will be May for a while.
It will be during the month of May, and that time when we meet might seem eternal.
I'll try to smile but can I play the part
I will make an effort to look cheerful when in front of you, but I am uncertain of whether I will be successful in portraying that image.
Without my heart behind the smile?
Is it possible to smile without it reflecting the true sentiments of my heart?
The way I feel for you I never could disguise
The passion I have for you is so intense that it is impossible for me to conceal it.
The look of love is written plainly in my eyes.
It is evident in the expression on my face that the feeling of love is deeply ingrained in me.
I think you'd be mine again if you could see me now.
My belief is that seeing me in my current state might rekindle the love you once had for me.
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: CARL SIGMAN, TADD DAMERON
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind