Trying
Bully Lyrics

Kink it up
I'm attempting to spice up my life and break free from societal constraints.

Invisible handcuffs locked on me
I feel restricted by societal norms and expectations, despite no tangible restraints.

Been praying for my period all week
I've been anxiously anticipating my period, both to signal relief and an end to my emotional turmoil.

And relief that I just can't see
Despite wanting relief, the stress and emotionality of the situation are pervasive and overwhelming.

I question everything
My sense of self and identity are flagging, leaving me questioning everything I once held to be true.

My focus, my figure, my sexuality
I'm questioning my very being, my appearance and my sexual preferences and everything that makes me, me.

And how much it matters or why it would mean anything
I'm struggling to understand the weight and significance of these things and why they should matter at all.

I can't keep it together
I'm struggling with the weight of my emotions and am at risk of losing control.

I've been better
I'm not feeling my best at the moment, and the added stress is only making things more challenging.

I've been thinking about it every night
I can't stop obsessing over my problems, and it's starting to impact my sleep and my ability to function normally.

I'm trying, I am
Despite everything, I'm attempting to stay positive, focused, and determined to work through my struggles.

Trying to hide from my mind, I am
All I want to do is escape the constant barrage of negative thoughts and emotions in my head.

Trying all the time, I am
I'm always striving and pushing to be better, to make progress and move forward, no matter how challenging it may be.

Why am I...?
I'm grappling with a lot of difficult questions at the moment, and I don't know the answers to any of them.

There's no flawless education just a stupid degree
Despite feeling like education is the key, I'm starting to realize that no amount of knowledge or credentials can guarantee happiness or fulfillment.

The feeling of growing so far from myself
I feel like I'm losing myself, becoming someone or something that I don't recognize or like very much.

I can't reach, I can't reach, I can't reach
I'm struggling to reconnect with myself, but it feels like a long, difficult road.

So brush it off, 'cause I wanted that
I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, even when it's hard and brush off criticisms, but it's easier said than done.

There's no dusting up
Even if I try to hide or distract myself, the negative thoughts and emotions will always be there, lurking beneath the surface.

When you walk like that, here's a ship
When I'm feeling down, I tend to let my whole demeanor show it, leaving myself vulnerable and open to new challenges.

There's a wreck, better keep yourself in check
I'm in a precarious emotional state, and I need to take care not to let myself spiral or lose control.

'Cause all these loaded questions gonna eat you alive
I'm being consumed by my doubts and fears, which threaten to overtake me if I don't find some answers soon.

If it counts for anything
Though I feel overwhelmed and helpless, I'm still doing my best to move forward and find solutions.

I didn't want to
Despite the difficulties, I'm not giving up, and I'm not letting myself be consumed by negative energy or emotions.

I'm just looking for clarity
I'm trying to find some answers and understand my emotions a little better, so that I can make progress and move forward.

To help me get through
I'm looking for something to hold onto, something that can help me find the strength and courage to push through.

If you're set in your ways
If you believe something strongly or have a certain perspective, it can be hard to see things from another point of view.

Well given that too
Even if your perspective or beliefs are different from mine, I still respect you and hope that you can learn to do the same for me.

It's absolute that
I'm certain that I'm right where I'm meant to be, and that my struggles are a part of my journey and growth.

I can break it down for you
I can explain my perspective and my struggles to you, in the hopes that you can better understand and empathize with me.

To feed the beast
My struggles are like a monster that needs attention, and I'm trying to make sense of that and figure out the best way to nurture it and myself.

To leave on leash
I'm doing my best to control my struggles, to keep them from consuming me or driving away the people I love.

To come right back to you
No matter what happens, I'm committed to coming back to myself and the people who matter to me, even if it takes time and effort.

Why why?
Despite my efforts to make sense of my emotions and my journey, I still have questions and doubts, and I don't know if or when they'll be answered.

Why am I...?
I'm struggling to understand the meaning and purpose of my life, and why I'm forced to face these struggles and challenges every day.