A Forever Recovery
Capstan Lyrics

While everyone′s sleeping in their bed I'm wide awake lost in my head
I cannot sleep and my mind is constantly racing.

I′m so fucking tired and out of breath and it's been like this ever since you left
I am constantly exhausted and breathless because of the emotional turmoil since you left.

I was always more careless than careful. Losing grips on things I cared for
I tend to be reckless and often lose the things I hold dear.

My body's tired and these eyes are sore. Forever drifting while you′re safe ashore
I am physically and mentally drained and feel lost while you are safe and secure.

While everyone′s smug with second best, I'll bandage these wounds inside my chest
While others seem satisfied with what's second best, I'm trying to cope with the wounds in my heart.

Been carrying the weight of the world and just can′t do it anymore
I've been carrying the burden of the world on my shoulders, but I cannot do it any longer.

It's impossible to be invincible in a world that′s so deceitful
It's impossible to be untouchable in a world full of deception.

But I just keep pretending that never sinking is believable
I try to believe that being indestructible is possible, even though it's not.

Well I've been down and I′ve been out but this is something I've never felt
I've been through tough times before, but this pain is something I have not experienced.

The letters and the promises you've sent have only brought me hell
Your promises and letters have only caused me pain and misery.

I′m breaking up the cycle of letting you pull me down
I am stopping the cycle of allowing you to control and bring me down.

Can you feel the ground shake it caves from your weight
Your actions have consequences, and they're weighing heavily on you.

Empty promises can′t save you now
Your promises are empty and cannot help you now.

The clarity of your voice has since turned to white noise and static
I can no longer understand what you're saying or trust your words.

It seems my outline and your scant design weren't meant for this schematic
Our personalities and relationship were not compatible and never meant to succeed.

Your secondhand stories like sun before morning
Your stories are dull and uninteresting to me.

Lost the shine that lit up your eyes. Your brightest words are your boldest lies
You have lost the spark that made you unique, and your words are empty and untrue.

(Your world is so very small, a silent curtain call. I won't be around when it all comes crashing down.)
Your world is limited, and when it crumbles, I won't be there to witness it.

You've left me short on breath I′m speechless
You've left me breathless and unable to speak or respond.

Clinging to the only air I still have left avoiding death
I'm holding on to the little bit of life I have left and avoiding giving up.

What hurts the most isn't the fact that our lives changed
It's not the fact that our lives have changed that hurts me the most.

It's how I′ve become so obsolete but I'll thrive from what remains
It's the fact that I've been left behind and forgotten, but I will survive and overcome.

I′ve always been an open book letting you skim through every chapter
I've been an open and honest person, allowing you to read and explore every part of me.

Now the pages are finally closed, a catalyst for your disaster
I'm finally closing the book on you, and it will be the start of your downfall and destruction.

Well now your down. The one thats out. And this is something you′ve never felt
Now you're the one who's defeated and broken, and this is something you haven't experienced before.

With these words I've helped myself grow inside and out of doubt
These words have helped me overcome my doubts and grow stronger.

And I know this brings you hell
I know this causes you pain and suffering.

Was I the needle in your arm the reason for your bad habit
Was I the root cause of your addiction and destructive behavior?

Or were those empty words of a withdrawing addict
Or were your promises and words just empty pleas for help?

When the drugs are gone I hope one thing remains
When the addiction is over, I hope my words and influence remain.

I pray my voice still echoes through your veins
I hope my words and impact will continue to resonate with you even after I'm gone.