Actress
Carly Simon Lyrics

Some day I'm going to grow up
One day, I will mature and transform.

And be every man's dream
I will become the epitome of desire for all men.

And forget this sad little me
I will leave behind the sadness and insignificance of my current self.

I'm going to shine in the spotlight
I will be the center of attention.

Wear sexy clothes
My clothing will exude sexiness and allure.

Be somebody everybody wants to meet
I will be the person everyone desires to meet.

And no one ever really knows
Despite being known by many, no one will truly know me.

No one will ever know me
I will hide my true self and present a facade to the world.

Critics will adore me
Critics will praise my talent and artistry.

At least they will at first
Initially, critics will be impressed with me.

But you see I already know this
However, I am already aware of this fact.

So it can't never really hurt
Therefore, their criticism will not affect me greatly.

And if it does, I'm an actress
If the criticism does affect me, I will still act unfazed.

I'll play it nonchalant
I will act cool and unconcerned.

In the total scheme of things it's insignificant
In the grand scope of things, their negative opinions are small in comparison.

(Sure I can take the knocks)
(I can handle any negative feedback).

I'm an actress through and through
I am an actress to the core.

And to my bones
Acting is an integral part of my being.

I may not be that pretty now
I may not be conventionally attractive at the moment, but...

But who's the referee
Who's to say what beauty really looks like?

Standards of beauty
Beauty standards will be transformed because of me.

Will be redefined because of me
I will change society's viewpoint on beauty.

And then they'll be the scandals
As my fame increases, there will be scandals and controversies.

Everywhere my name
My name will be on everyone's lips.

Men will jump from balconies
Men will do crazy things for me, like jumping from balconies.

And I'll just shrug and take the blame
I will not take responsibility for their actions, but I will also not try to stop them.

(Yeah, they'll say I died for love)
(They may even misconstrue my influence as love, and that may lead to my downfall).

My acceptance speech will be a milestone
When I receive an award, my speech will be memorable.

Never will such a star
No previous celebrity has ever been as great as me.

Have ever graced the microphone
My speech will be legendary and unforgettable.

And of course I'll thank my agent
I will express gratitude towards the person who helped me get where I am.

The way they always do
This is expected in awards ceremonies.

Though I could have done it without him
Despite thanking him, I know that I could have succeeded without him.

And that goes for the Academy too
I will accolade the Academy, even though my talent alone would have propelled me to the top.

And the makeup people and the lighting designers and everybody else
I will thank every person involved, even if their contributions were minimal or perfunctory.

I'll be gracious to the lesser stars
I will treat other celebrities with kindness and respect, even if they are not as famous as me.

And generous to the unknowns
I will be generous to up-and-coming artists who may not be as famous as their peers.

And if another actress threatens
If another actress challenges or rivals me...

My position on the throne
I will protect my status as the top actress.

Well, I don't know exactly what I'll do
I do not have a concrete plan, but...

I don't exactly know
I have an uncertain but powerful plan in mind.

But I know that it could turn into
My plan has the potential to become...

One of my most poignant roles
One of the most emotionally moving and powerful scenes I will ever play.

Everyone will have their handkerchiefs out
The audience will be wiping away their tears.

And they'll have to leave the theater early
The audience will be so moved that they will have to leave early.

And then they'll go home
After leaving the theater, they will go to their respective homes.

And what'll they do?
The audience will ask themselves...

They'll have a big glass of alcohol
They will go home and drink heavily to try to escape the emotional intensity of my acting.

And if I make it to the top I won't be overthrown
I have so much faith in my abilities that I will not be displaced from the top spot.

I'm an actress ah, yeah, yeah
Acting is my calling and my passion.