All of his music up until Oops! I Did It Again were classified as IDM (Intelligent dance music) and had very little vocals or lyrics for the most part. However, Kidwell was not content to stay behind the laptop while on tour, and quickly and openly aspired to become "#1 Entertainer". He started to hone freestyling skills and performing new songs. In 2002, he won a coveted tour spot opening for the East Coast leg of the Death and Dismemberment tour with Death Cab for Cutie and old friends from Washington, DC The Dismemberment Plan. Later that year, Tall, Dark, and Handcuffed, his first album with full vocals, was released.
2003 was a pivotal year for Kidwell - after spending his entire life living in or around Baltimore, he packed up and drove out to Oakland, California. Car malfunctions and a week stranded in the western US became the inspiration for his second album of that year, Maryland Mansions, an album about suicide which pushed the motifs of his previous album Being Ridden further and was modelled somewhat on the Nine Inch Nails EP Broken. Two music videos for Maryland Mansions were released early in 2004, and Kidwell moved again, to Chicago a few months later.
Shortly thereafter, he married Roby Newton (from the band Milemarker), and reorganized Cex as a three-piece: Kidwell, Newton, and Cale Parks (from the bands Joan of Arc and Aloha). This configuration released an EP, Know Doubt, in 2005 on a Chicago label called Record Label. The next Cex album is titled Actual Fucking and will be released July 4th, 2006. The album is heavy on vocals and will be released by Seattle label Automation Records.
You Kiss Like You're Dead
Cex Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
When we tried to name it
Passing back and forth
The bile that we were tasting
Ground our teeth to powder
Nothing ever changes
Have to find some solace while my fists
Continue swinging
Looking for dead animals
The most perverted, twisted form of flirting
Sorry if I hurt you
Middle of the ice
Striking at the surface
Frozen, my reflection,
By any means I'll burned
We said things in the dark
Pasture with deny
So I kept my eyes shut tight
There's nothing there to prove I care, now
The ugliness I shared
Is buried, safe under the ground
Not even the scar
Barely recollected
Don't think I should be allowed to forget you
Shadows I had occupied
And made my home in
Were not fighting to me 'til the day you showed up
The moment you left me
Ends the minute he slips away
But is it lonely
Sitting, watching atop this grave
I don't want to replace what the earth took from you
Yeah but you kiss like you're dead
Already I'm worried.
The song "You Kiss Like You're Dead" by Cex tells a story of conflicting emotions and memories, reflecting on a past relationship filled with intense physicality and emotional turmoil. The lyrics depict the physical toll of trying to name an undefined feeling that burns through their guts and teeth. They mention the twisted form of flirting, where searching for dead animals is the ultimate turn-on. The singer apologizes for hurting someone, but it's not clear who they're referring to. They describe a frozen reflection, seeking any means to burn it. The past is full of ugliness that they buried and don't want to forget, even though the scars are barely recollected. They don't want to replace something that the earth took from them, but the other person kisses like they're dead, and that fact worries the singer.
The song appears to be a reflection on a complex relationship with a person who has passed away. The singer seems to be struggling with feelings of love, loss, and guilt, trying to reconcile their emotions with the reality of their situation. The reference to kissing like you're dead is particularly intriguing, as it could be interpreted in a variety of ways. It could mean that the person they're with is emotionally detached or that they're engaging in risky behavior, similar to flirting with death. The final line, "Already I'm worried," suggests that the singer is fearful of confronting their emotions and the intense feelings that come with them.
Overall, "You Kiss Like You're Dead" is a poignant, introspective song that grapples with complex emotions and memories. Through vivid imagery and a powerful, emotional narrative, Cex captures the essence of a relationship fraught with tension and longing.
Line by Line Meaning
It burned our tongues and stomachs
The thing we tried to name was painful and uncomfortable to deal with
Passing back and forth
We shared the burden of dealing with the unpleasant thing by taking turns
The bile that we were tasting
The thing we were dealing with was causing us to feel sick and disgusted
Ground our teeth to powder
The stress of dealing with the thing we named was causing us physical pain
Nothing ever changes
Despite our efforts, we are unable to make progress in resolving the issue
Have to find some solace while my fists
I have to find some way to cope with the frustration, even if it means lashing out in anger
Looking for dead animals
Engaging in morbid behavior as a way to seek attention and affection
The most perverted, twisted form of flirting
Using disturbing actions as a way to flirt and seek approval
Sorry if I hurt you
Apologizing for any pain caused by my strange behavior
Middle of the ice
Feeling trapped and isolated
Striking at the surface
Trying to break free from the feeling of being trapped
Frozen, my reflection
Feeling trapped and unable to change, like a reflection frozen in ice
By any means I'll burned
Willing to do whatever it takes to escape the feeling of being trapped
We said things in the dark
We shared secrets and spoke honestly when no one else was around
Pasture with deny
A place of hidden truths and lies
So I kept my eyes shut tight
Refusing to acknowledge the uncomfortable truths we shared
There's nothing there to prove I care, now
I am unable to demonstrate my emotions towards you anymore
The ugliness I shared
The unpleasant truths we shared about ourselves
Is buried, safe under the ground
We have hidden our true selves away and refuse to acknowledge them
Not even the scar
We have moved past the pain, but the memory still lingers
Barely recollected
The memory is fading from our minds
Don't think I should be allowed to forget you
Despite everything, I still feel emotionally attached to you
Shadows I had occupied
The dark and negative parts of myself that I had become comfortable with
And made my home in
These negative parts of myself had become a safe space for me
Were not fighting to me 'til the day you showed up
I was unaware of the negative impact of these feelings until I met you
The moment you left me
I am feeling lost and directionless without you
Ends the minute he slips away
The only thing that can distract me from my pain is the presence of someone else
But is it lonely
Despite having someone else, I still feel isolated and alone
Sitting, watching atop this grave
Feeling like a mournful observer of my own life
I don't want to replace what the earth took from you
I don't want to move on or forget about you, despite the pain you caused me
Yeah but you kiss like you're dead
Your actions and behavior towards me are distant and emotionless
Already I'm worried
I am becoming anxious and uneasy about our relationship
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
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