Such Horrible Things
Creature Feature Lyrics

Sit back now
Relax and listen

Let me tell you a tale
I will recount a story

Where justice does not prevail
This story is one where justice is not served

About an ill-fated life
The story is about a life plagued with misfortune

So very full of strife
This life is filled with great struggles

Where two wrongs do not make a right
Taking revenge only creates more harm

So
Therefore

When I was born
The story's protagonist was born

I did surely scorn
He rejected his parents and their values

My proud parent's name
He disrespected his family

Then their lives went down the drain
His family faced great misfortune

Drove them insane
Their hardship drove them to madness

My birth was a curse
He believes his birth was a misfortune

I bit the nurse
As a baby, he displayed violent tendencies

Oh, but I love the worst
He enjoys causing harm to others

I deserve to be slowly submersed
He feels he deserves punishment

Dried out then laid in a hearse
He believes he deserves death

When I was two
He committed harmful acts as a toddler

I poured super glue
He carried out malicious acts

Into my father's hair
He harmed his own family members

As he sat unaware
His father was not aware of his actions

In his arm chair
His father was relaxing in a chair

Much to his dismay
His father was extremely upset

Had to cut it all away
The super glue had to be removed by cutting his father's hair

Oh, but it felt great
The singer enjoyed carrying out destructive acts

I deserve to be cut and filleted
He believes he deserves punishment for his actions

Then tossed about in disarray
He should be thrown around unceremoniously

Until the pieces melt away
Eventually, he should cease to exist

I am not a bad man
He tries to justify his actions

Even though I do bad things
He admits to committing harmful acts

Very bad things
His actions are extreme

Such horrible things
He confesses to carrying out unspeakable acts

But it's not quite what it seems
He wants to convince himself that he is not entirely to blame

(Not quite what he seems)
He is deceiving himself

Not quite what I seem
He is not as good as he thinks he is

Aw, hell
He resigns himself to the truth

It's exactly what it seems
He admits that his actions define him

When I was four
He committed harmful acts as a young child

I'd wait by the door
He carried out malicious acts

With a knife in my hand
He had a weapon

And a most devious plan
He plotted nefarious deeds

It would be quite grand
He found pleasure in causing harm to others

As the mail fell through the slot
He would harm others who innocently passed by

The sharp edge he got
His weapon would inflict harm

Oh, but I love the thought
He enjoyed the idea of harming others

I deserve to be tied in a knot
He needs punishment for his actions

Broken bones and blood clots
His punishment should be severe

When I was six
He continued his harmful actions as a young child

I used to trick
He enjoyed deceiving others

The next door neighbor's son
He harmed other children

In the woods we would run
His harmful behavior extended beyond his home

Time for fun
He found causing harm to be entertaining

Hide-and-seek has a cost
His actions have consequences for others

He would be forever lost
He caused permanent harm to others

Oh, but I love to scoff
He enjoyed mocking others' suffering

I deserve to have my head lopped off
He deserves the most severe punishment

Hidden and covered in moss
His remains should be left to decay

Until this memory's forgot
The world is better off without him

When I was eight
He continued to carry out malicious acts as a child

I used to hate
He harbored negative feelings

The color of my house
He even took issue with his home's appearance

So as quiet as a mouse
He acted surreptitiously

I burned it down
He carried out a major act of destruction

To the ground
The house was completely destroyed

When no one was around
He acted when there were no witnesses

Oh, but I love the sound
He found pleasure in destruction

I deserve to be quickly put down
He believes he deserves punishment

Rotting six feet underground
He should be buried and forgotten

When I was ten
As a young child, he continued to carry out harmful acts

I used to pretend
He enjoyed creating a false scenario

To drown in the sea
He imagined himself drowning

'Til they'd come to rescue me
He enjoys the idea of others saving him

Then proceed
He would then act cruelly

To laugh in their face
He takes pleasure in others' disappointment

Such a disgrace
This behavior is unacceptable

Oh, but I love the taste
He finds satisfaction in causing harm

I deserve to have my brains displaced
He deserves punishment

All over the fireplace
He should be dispersed and forgotten

Until this life has been erased
He has caused enough harm in this life

When I was twelve
He continued to carry out harmful acts in his youth

I used to delve
He was curious about evil

Into evil schemes
He plotted and carried out wicked plans

Just to elicit screams
He wanted to cause terror

Boost my self-esteem
He found a twisted sense of confidence in causing harm

Pushed my sister down a well
He carried out a particularly heinous act

She just fell
He caused his sister's fall

Oh, but I love to dwell
He takes pleasure in the memory of his harmful actions

I deserve to roast deep down in hell
He believes he deserves punishment for his actions

Where no one can hear me yell
He should suffer in silence

When I was fourteen
As a teenager, his harmful behavior intensified

Nothing much happened
He did not carry out any particularly harmful acts

Well, there was that one time
He still caused some harm

When I was sixteen
He carried out a particularly horrific act

Life was frightening
He felt fear in his life

My brother was quite dull
He found his brother uninteresting

So with laughter in my skull
He enjoyed contemplating his harmful behavior

Pushed him in a hole
He carried out another heinous act

Then buried him alive
His act of cruelty was extreme

He barely survived
His brother was close to death

Oh, but I love the cries
He takes pleasure in causing harm to others

I deserve to be battered and fried
He should receive the most severe punishment possible

In an electric chair that's set on high
His punishment should be as violent as his behavior

Now that I'm eighteen
He has reached adulthood

I still hate things
His negative feelings have not gone away

From this padded cell I call my home
He is in a mental institution

No friends, no phone
He is completely alone

No life to call my own
He has nothing in life

Here I will lie
He will stay in his padded cell

Until the very day I die
He has no future outside that cell

Until my blood begins to dry
He will remain exactly where he is

And I return to the darkness from whence I came
He believes he comes from a place of darkness

I'm exactly what I seem
He is honest about who he is