The Hill
Cristin Milioti Lyrics
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when you have closed your eyes.
I wish I didn't have to make
all those mistakes and be wise.
Please try to be patient
and know that I'm still learning.
I'm sorry that you have to see
the strength inside me burning.
But where are you my angel now?
Don't you see me crying?
And I know that you can't do it all
but you can't say I'm not trying.
I'm on my knees in front of him
but he doesn't seem to see me.
With all his troubles on his mind
he's looking right through me.
And I'm letting myself down
By satisfying you
And I wish that you could see
that I have my troubles too.
Looking at you sleeping
I'm with the man I know.
I'm sitting here weeping
while the hours pass so slow.
And I know that in the morning
I'll have to let you go
and you'll be just a man
once I used to know.
But for these past few days
Someone I don't recognize.
This isn't all my fault.
When will you realize?
Looking at you leaving,
I'm looking for a sign
The song "The Hill" by Cristin Milioti speaks to the experience of feeling isolated and alone even when you are physically close to someone. The singer is walking up a hill while the person she loves is sleeping. She wishes she didn't have to make mistakes and learn from them, but she knows it's all part of the process. She feels like she's disappointing her loved one by not being strong enough, but she acknowledges that she's still learning and growing. She begs her loved one to be patient with her and to see that she's trying her best even though she's not perfect.
The singer feels like her loved one doesn't see her, even though she's right in front of him. He's so preoccupied with his own problems that he looks right through her. She's disappointed in herself for trying so hard to satisfy him and make him happy, but she knows he doesn't see her struggles. The singer is weeping while he sleeps, feeling like she's losing the connection she once had with him. She knows that she'll have to let him go in the morning, and he'll become a stranger to her once again. She's frustrated because she feels like he's changed, and that's not entirely her fault. She's looking for a sign that things will get better, but it's not clear if that will happen.
In summary, "The Hill" is about the struggle to maintain a deep connection with someone who has become emotionally distant. The singer is trying to learn from her mistakes and be patient, but she's feeling isolated and alone. She feels like her loved one doesn't see her, and she's disappointed that she can't make him happy. Despite her efforts, she's afraid that they'll grow apart and he'll become a stranger to her.
Line by Line Meaning
Walking up the hill tonight
when you have closed your eyes.
I'm exploring my thoughts on my own, while you sleep without knowing that I'm taking a walk.
I wish I didn't have to make
all those mistakes and be wise.
I regret making poor decisions and wish I had been more sensible.
Please try to be patient
and know that I'm still learning.
Please understand that I make mistakes as a part of my growth process, and I'm still trying to figure things out.
I'm sorry that you have to see
the strength inside me burning.
I apologize for forcing you to witness the emotions that I struggle to control.
But where are you my angel now?
Don't you see me crying?
I'm searching for your support during this difficult time, but you're nowhere to be found.
And I know that you can't do it all
but you can't say I'm not trying.
I know you have your limitations, but at least acknowledge that I'm putting forth effort.
I'm on my knees in front of him
but he doesn't seem to see me.
With all his troubles on his mind
he's looking right through me.
I'm trying to communicate with him, but he's too focused on his problems to notice me.
And I'm letting myself down
By satisfying you
And I wish that you could see
that I have my troubles too.
I'm sacrificing my own happiness to please you, but I need you to understand that I have problems of my own.
Looking at you sleeping
I'm with the man I know.
I'm sitting here weeping
while the hours pass so slow.
As I watch you sleep, I'm left with my thoughts and emotions, and time seems to move so slowly.
And I know that in the morning
I'll have to let you go
and you'll be just a man
once I used to know.
I'm aware that when the night ends, I have to let go of you, and you'll return to being the man that I used to know.
But for these past few days
Someone I don't recognize.
This isn't all my fault.
When will you realize?
Lately, you've been acting like someone I don't know, and it's not entirely my fault. When will you acknowledge the role you play in our struggles?
Looking at you leaving,
I'm looking for a sign
As you leave, I'm searching for any indication of what comes next in our relationship.
Contributed by Alexander R. Suggest a correction in the comments below.