What Have I Done?
Cursive Lyrics

A year now and nothing much has changed
It's been a year since I left, but I'm still stuck in this motel and haven't made much progress in my life

Holed up in a motel in El Paso
I'm stuck in a motel in El Paso and feeling trapped

This was meant to be my great escape
I thought leaving my old life behind would be freeing and exciting, but it hasn't turned out that way

But, I got lost along the way
I became overwhelmed and unsure of my direction in life

Amongst free HBO (Court TV) and take-out
I've been stuck in this motel room, wasting time watching TV and eating takeout

Going to write my Moby Dicks
I had big plans to accomplish something great, like writing a masterpiece, but it hasn't happened

More like scratching lyrics on paper plates
Instead of writing something great, I'm only writing lyrics on scraps of paper

I spent the best years of my life
I wasted the best years of my life hoping for something better

Waiting on the best years of my life
I keep waiting for something great to happen, but it never does

So what's there to write about?
I haven't accomplished anything worth writing about

What have I done?
I feel like I haven't accomplished anything meaningful in my life

So is this my destiny?
I'm starting to wonder if my life is just going to be mediocre and unremarkable

From starlight into eternity
My life feels like it's stretching out forever, with no end in sight

The gods must be laughing down at me
I feel like the universe is mocking me for my lack of success

Ha, ha, ha
This is my bitter laughter in the face of my failures

A traveling salesman at twenty years old
I set out on my journey full of promise and ambition, but it hasn't worked out

Stranded in Ann Arbor with a flat tire
I hit a snag and it's kept me from moving forward

And I watch the sun sadly set
I feel like I'm letting life pass me by

Any younger, I may have wept
If I were younger, I would have been more emotionally overwhelmed by my situation

Much older, I wouldn't notice
If I were older, I wouldn't have as much time to correct my mistakes

But I was out there in the world
I have ventured out to try and make something of myself, but I haven't succeeded

Yeah, then the world, it passed me by
I feel like my life has already peaked and now I'm just going through the motions

I was telling everyone back home
I'm trying to convince myself and others that I'm doing better than I am

That I was taking it by storm
I bragged about my successes, but really I was struggling

Instead, I watched it from the roadside
I was an observer of life, not an active participant

So are these the best tales I can spin?
I'm questioning if my life stories are worth telling if they are all about failure

A boy waiting to begin
I haven't yet attained my dreams, and I'm starting to think maybe these dreams weren't even worth pursuing

A man with no memoirs
I haven't accomplished anything worth remembering or writing about

You're young and you're going to be someone
People tell you when you're young that you have your whole future ahead of you, but often that promise turns out to be empty

Then you're old and you're ashamed of what you've become
As you grow older, you start to realize that maybe you didn't achieve as much as you wanted to and that realization is painful

Well, take a look around you
I'm reminding myself to be present and accepting of where I am in life, even if it's not where I hoped to be

You're preaching to the choir
I'm trying to remind myself of things I already know and don't need to be told

Oh, oh, oh
This is my sad realization that I haven't accomplished enough

What have I done?
I'm questioning whether or not I've accomplished anything meaningful with my life

What have I done?
I'm asking this question again to reinforce my feelings of sadness and disappointment

What have I done?
With each repetition of this question, I am sinking further into despair

What have I done?
I can't think of anything I've accomplished that I'm truly proud of

What have I done?
I'm repeating this question like a lament, wondering what my life has amounted to

What have I done?
This is my final expression of the pain and disappointment I feel about my life