Adrian Hates was originally a classically trained guitarist and pianist, and subsequently bassist of Garden of Delight. He initiated the Diary of Dreams project in the late 1980s, taking the name from one of his early classical guitar compositions, 'Tagebuch der Träume'. The first album, 'Cholymelan', appeared in 1994 on the Dion Fortune label.
Encouraged by this success, Adrian formed his own label Accession and released a string of albums over the following years, building a loyal fanbase each step of the way. The second album 'End of Flowers' was released in 1996, expanding on the darkwave sound of the debut. 'Bird Without Wings' followed a year later, whilst the more experimental work 'Psychoma?' arrived in 1998.
The first sign of consolidation came in 1999, when a compilation album 'Moments of Bloom' appeared, containing two reworked tracks from each album. The next two albums 'One of 18 Angels' and 'Freak Perfume' (plus its companion EP 'PaniK Manifesto') made greater use of electronic rhythms, resulting in greater club play and wider recognition for the band.
Their 2004 'Nigredo' (a concept album inspired by a mythology the band designed themselves) saw a move back towards the more subtle, sparse concepts of old, but still featuring bursts of their more recent, dance-oriented sound. Songs from the Nigredo tour were later released on the live CD 'aLive' and the companion DVD 'Nine In Numbers'. The next Diary of Dreams album 'Nekrolog 43' was released in 2007, offering a greater variety of moods and concepts than previous works. Adrian Hates claims to be influenced, both lyric wise and artwork wise, by the German 1909-1935 expressionism and the "beauty of ugliness" in the course of his work.
The ninth album entitled "(if)" was released on March 13, 2009.
Discography
Albums
* Cholymelan (1994) – re-released in 1999 with four bonus tracks
* End of Flowers (1996)
* Bird Without Wings (1997)
* Psychoma (1998)
* Moments of Bloom (1999)
* One of 18 Angels (2000)
* Freak perfume (2002)
* Dream Collector (2003) (originally a limited South African compilation - later given wider release)
* Nigredo (2004)
* Alive (2005) – live album
* Nekrolog 43 (2007)
* (if) (2009)
* Ego:X (2011)
* Dream Collector II (2012)
* the Anatomy of Silence (2012) - acoustic album
* Elegies in Darkness (2014)
* Grau im Licht (2015)
* reLive (2016)
* hell in Eden (2017)
Singles and EPs
* O' Brother Sleep (2001)
* AmoK (2002)
* PaniK Manifesto (2002) – EP/mini-album
* Giftraum (2004)
* Menschfeind (2005) – EP/mini-album
* The Plague (2007)
* King of Nowhere (2009)
DVDs
* Nine in Numbers (2006)
Panik?
Diary of Dreams Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
invading present thinking.
Dead end dreams
sore throat from all these lies.
Liberty, dignity
one nasty ego.
We thought we had a choice
panik manifesto.
Angel, how much longer...
Angel, how much further...
...until your sweet cocoon?
I scribble on the ceiling,
on the walls and on the floor.
I shiver in the corner,
cause I forgot to lock the door.
Deleted memories of false identities,
unfortunately I
did never say good-bye.
The lyrics of Diary of Dreams's song Panik describe the fear and panic that can arise when one's present thinking is invaded by a radical impulse. The ideas that once seemed like the way forward have become dead end dreams and the lies told to oneself have taken a toll on the throat. Liberty and dignity seem like a facade as one nasty ego takes the lead. The once thought of choices have now become a panik manifesto. The singer longs for an angel to take them away from all of this, to reach for their sweet cocoon.
The imagery in the lyrics is quite ominous as the singer finds themselves scribbling on the ceiling, walls, and floor, in a state of panic. They feel cornered and shivering as they realize they forgot to lock the door, leaving them vulnerable to who or whatever is causing their panic. The deleted memories of their past false identities add to the unease, as they never had the chance to say goodbye to the person they used to be.
The song's lyrics are open to interpretation and can be read in many ways. It may be about the fear and anxiety that comes with personal growth or a political statement about the current state of the world. Overall, Panik is a haunting and thought-provoking song that speaks to the human condition in a unique way.
Line by Line Meaning
Radical impulse
invading present thinking.
A sudden, extreme urge that is taking over the current thought process.
Dead end dreams
sore throat from all these lies.
Hopes and aspirations that never seem to come to fruition, causing frustration and discomfort from all the deceit.
Liberty, dignity
one nasty ego.
Having independence and self-respect, but also dealing with a selfish and unpleasant personality.
We thought we had a choice
panik manifesto.
Believing there were options available, only to realize that there is a sense of chaos and confusion around everything.
Angel, how much longer...
Angel, how much further...
...until your sweet cocoon?
Asking how much longer and how much further the comforting state of being will last before reality sets in.
I scribble on the ceiling,
on the walls and on the floor.
Frantically writing or expressing ideas and emotions all around, with no specific direction or purpose.
I shiver in the corner,
cause I forgot to lock the door.
Feeling scared or vulnerable in a certain area, due to not taking the proper steps to protect oneself.
Deleted memories of false identities,
unfortunately I
did never say good-bye.
Forgetting the past parts of oneself that were not truthful or genuine, but never having the chance to formally bid farewell to them.
Contributed by Brody R. Suggest a correction in the comments below.