There are two musical groups which go by Dimentia, a metal band and an expe… Read Full Bio ↴There are two musical groups which go by Dimentia, a metal band and an experimental electronic musician based in the bay area of California, who can be found at www.myspace.com/dimentia23. The following information refers to the metal band.

Formed in 2004, Dimentia is a brand new beginning for three former band mates: JF (Vocal – Lead Guitar), Rick (Rhythm and Lead Guitar) and Justin (Bass and Vocal), that already have worked together under the same roof, being part of Montreal’s industrial-metal band ‘’First Version’’. Over the following year songwriting would see this trio write new material that demanded a more technical and experienced drummer. Through a very clever add found online, Sam would become the fourth member this band was looking for. Now officially complete, the writing for the E.P. ‘’The Shadow’’ can begin. The first wave of song rapidly became obsolete because of the expertise of Sam that would give JF the freedom to bring the best riffs and strongest lead guitar this band had ever seen. The new material would be a whole lot more hard hitting and determined than ever. Along the same path, Dimentia would find its way toward a style they could call their own. You will find different influences from top metal song writer like Chuck Schuldiner (Death - R.I.P.), and many more that made metal as it is today: Dave Mustain, Dimebag Darrell (R.I.P.), Micheal Amott etc. We will see this band evolve into a fine tuned machine by having JF inspire himself by the most influential band contemporary metal would bring: Megadeth, Metallica, Pantera, Lamb of God, Slayer, Fear Factory … it is easy to feel the European influences from great metal acts like Arch enemy, In Flames and Nightwish. Using strong vocals and a Fear Factory rhythm like drum line; the performances of these guys will never leave any heavy-metal hardcore fan on their appetite and will surely make them call the encore.

liar
Dimentia Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

Liar!

Do I look like a puppet?
No I got no strings
To pull me like you want to
You make me sick my friend

For everything I give to you

You took me things that I cared for
I trusted you like a brother
But now you're so far beyond me

You made up futile stories
To be the one we admire
You like too much yourself
You make me sick, my friend

For everything I give to you
You took me things that I cared for
I trusted you like a brother
But now you're so far beyond me

Motherfucker

-Solos-

You are so lonely now
Because your game is over
Poor little boy
You make me sick, my friend

For everything I give to you
You took me things that I cared for
I trusted you like a brother
But now you're so far beyond me

Liar!

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Dimentia's song Liar convey a sense of betrayal and disappointment towards a close friend. The vocalist starts by asserting their independence and refusing to be manipulated like a puppet. They then proceed to express their anguish at being taken for granted and their trust being taken advantage of. The second verse sees the singer accuse their friend of fabricating stories to gain admiration and praise from their peers. The singer goes on to rebuke the friend for being self-centered and morally bankrupt. The song builds up to the chorus, which serves as the climax of the singer's emotional outburst towards their 'friend', calling them a liar.

The song strikes a chord with people who have been through similar experiences of disillusionment and loss of trust. It delivers a powerful message about the importance of honesty and loyalty in relationships. The standout line 'Do I look like a puppet?' is an effective metaphor for the singer's sense of independence and refusal to be controlled by the deceitful friend. The sharp, aggressive guitar riffs and drum beats complement the lyrics and add to the intensity of the song.

Line by Line Meaning

Liar!
The singer is calling someone a liar.

Do I look like a puppet?
The singer questions whether or not they look like someone who can be easily controlled.

No I got no strings
The singer asserts that they cannot be manipulated.

To pull me like you want to
The artist suggests that the person they're addressing wants to control them.

You make me sick my friend
The artist expresses disgust towards the person they're addressing.

For everything I give to you
The singer has given things to the person they're addressing.

You took me things that I cared for
The person they're addressing has taken things that the singer cared about.

I trusted you like a brother
The artist trusted the person they're addressing like a family member.

But now you're so far beyond me
The person they're addressing has betrayed the artist's trust.

You made up futile stories
The person they're addressing has created meaningless stories.

To be the one we admire
The person they're addressing did this in attempt to impress people.

You like too much yourself
The person they're addressing is narcissistic.

Motherfucker
The singer is expressing anger/frustration towards the person they're addressing.

-Solos-
Musical solos in the song.

You are so lonely now
The person they're addressing is now alone.

Because your game is over
The person they're addressing's schemes have come to an end.

Poor little boy
The artist views the person they're addressing as weak or insignificant.

You make me sick, my friend
The singer expresses disgust towards the person they're addressing.

Liar!
The singer concludes the song by again calling the person they're addressing a liar.

Contributed by Mason D. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

To comment on or correct specific content, highlight it

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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

Alpha Centauri

2y↑3

@Chris Nilsson interesting.
So, you admit that you bully others, while completely lacking empathy.
Were you referred to this video because you are the narcissist?

Watch that you don't get offended by that question now...or else you just prove your blindness and hypocrisy!

If you are trying to force others to do something that bothers them...with no purpose other than provoking... examine your internal dynamics. Why? Use introspection and metacognition (if you even can).
That behavior is disturbing and says something is deeply disturbed, wounded, in you.

-a former medical professional, who is working towards a PhD In Neuroscience

Emily Mulligan

48w

As a child, my mother once told me that she was a member of a famous singing group from the 70s.

Excited little me went to school and told my teachers. They wanted to meet her.

I asked her and she got upset, never explained why, but told me not to tell again.

All the while, over the years, she tells me stories of them touring, etc.

Fast forward, im in my 20s listening to the groups music.
She casually tells me (we were smoking cannabis), "oh, i never actually sang with them. That was just one of my little lies" she was laughing.

😮
I just sat there and said nothing.

This is one of the reasons why i don't want contact with her.

All comments from YouTube:

James Hicks

1y↑59

"For the narcissist, reality is an aggression." That's a brilliant statement
.

Daniel Scheff

2y↑309

The depressing thing about learning about narcissism is when you realize that no matter how well you come to understand it, nor how well you come to understand your loved ones who have it, there's no fixing it. It helps to know that, to an extent, so you stop bashing your head against the wall, and can learn to protect yourself, but at the same moment, you have to mourn the loss of loved ones, be they parents, siblings, children, friends, co-workers or whomever. Mourning the loss of someone that's still alive, and maybe still in your life, is a dark place to be.

Claire Somero

2y↑15

Yes I totally understand this.

Iloerk

2y↑17

But there is some fixing it, although it's hard and takes years? Just according to Yeomans himself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfRxNg6QKTQ
Don't sacrifice yourself, but don't lose all hope either

Don At Zero Days Life

2y↑21

Yes, loss while they are still alive and not far away. They may dump you when you begin seeing through them.

David Bowen

2y↑21

Good post. Its tragic.

Ironically they push the world away and hurt the closest to them to see if they'll come back. They seek unconditional love. However If those people leave that just confirms their conginitive bias and insecurity about people, hence it solidifies their predatory nature. If nobody else can be trusted why should I be trusted. If these people stay to get trampled on they're not respected because they don't have the predatory instincts they perceive you need to exist in the world

비러브드

2y↑18

I totally get this comment
I held a funeral for my living mom last year

33 More Replies...

Kelly York

3y↑323

“Reality is an aggression.” Wow.

Michał Kielan

3y↑12

so true, I feel physically and mentally attacked and abused in many confronting situations. inner child's response to psychological pain and aggression that hasn't been integrated.

Jo Kraemer

3y↑8

Yeah that struck me too.

Bass Lineur

3y↑5

Ikr this was an amazing sentence

Nicki M.

2y↑19

That was deep!

And so true. I always said that 'truth' to the narcissist is like holding up the sign of the cross to the devil. It literally is an assault on them that makes them run for the hills.

Andrew Nuttall

2y↑8

Notice the zoom on his face for effect. It was clever, but I admit I found it a bit comical. Even so, it made the point effectively. I imagine a fragile narcissist would have found it scary.

8 More Replies...

Linda Yaccarino

1y↑103

Unfortunately, infidelity tends to go hand in hand with narcissism. Especially, somatic narcissism. Narcissists believe EVERYTHING they need is external, including self-worth, self-esteem, validation, etc. Those things are what make up our inner world and we are supposed to develop and cultivate them within/on our own. Narcissists DEPEND on people to supply those things for them. Because we cannot (nor, are we supposed to) supply every want/need of a partner, narcissists are always on the lookout for "better supply". They will always gravitate toward anyone they feel can meet the needs/wants their spouse isn't (and can't). Narcissists are unstable and they cannot soothe themselves. They cannot meet their own needs and their needs/wants are constantly changing. Narcissists are black holes. They are human abyss' of unmet needs/wants. Even if you gave them everything, they'd still want MORE... All while giving NOTHING in return. Narcissists are also pathologically bored. They do not experience boredom the way normal adults do. They're like children. Once they become bored, they tend to throw their toys (people) in a corner to collect dust. Then, they search for new ones... Untilllll, they realize that their newest toy isn't as fun. Or, it doesn't function as well as the old toy did. Then, they'll go digging in the corner to find that old toy (the reason their relationships tend to be off and on). People are objects meant to keep them occupied and entertained. The newer the toy, the better/more exciting it is. However, EVERYONE will inevitably lose their shine with the narcissist. You must accept their reality and realize that it's NOT ABOUT YOU and it never was. This is also the point when it becomes crucial to sit your ego on the curb. Your ego will want to fight to be seen. Your ego will want to fight to prove you're enough. Your ego will feel it's "worthy" of the narcissist and fight to "keep" them... But, again: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. Most narcissists are extremely irresponsible. Many of them marry to secure stability. Or, to have someone they can count on to help with bills to free up their resources. It also ensures they'll have somewhere safe to land when they fall - because they always f*** up... Do yourself a favor and pull that rug of security out from under them and save YOURSELF. Narcissists do not have a moral compass. They do not respect the union of marriage. It'll always be a one-sided arrangement with you being the giver that's making their life easier and them being the taker that's making your life harder. We deserve the same love, attention, support and understanding that we give our spouses. You will never get it from someone suffering with NPD. Moreover, if you feel sure that your husband might never cheat on you, you might have to rethink. Most wives in marriages are shocked when they find out their husband cheating, and it happens more with people who never thought they would cheat. This is why you have to take the tiniest suspicion carefully. If your husband is cheating on you, the best and probably the only guaranteed way to catch him is to spy on their phones. However, spying on a phone is not something you can do without any external help unless you have the James bond level of spy skills. In such case you will need an expert phone spyier Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose,,,

surfingshewolf

41w

That was the most oddly detailed and well written spam I've ever seen

Marcela Stacey

3y↑109

5:05 for the narcissist, reality is an aggression. That’s got to be so painful for the narcissist.

Dream Diction

2y↑21

7:05 the need to delude themselves as protection against the suffering of feeling worthless.

karoshi2

2y↑2

And because they must not be at fault for anything (from my understanding because that would make them feel to not exist anymore, thus they're fighting for their life), they also cannot properly learn from mistakes and are condemned to repeat the same problematic behaviour again and again. They don't even seem to understand when they did a mistake.

And then some people ask when they reap their karma. They already do. All the time. And upsetting as they may behave - I do pity them. But there's nothing one can do to really help them. At least nothing I'd know about.

Gustavo Garcia

It is.

scleo

1y↑4

They inflict pain. They exploit others for their own gain.

Private Private

45w

I think that, one of the things that either made my mother’s mask fall or drove her into narcissistic behavior, was the realization that the successes she had and wanted for her life, were being overcome by age, time, losing relevancy, me moving on with my own life, etc. As precursor to destructive narcissism, she became very depressed.

I do get it, however. When you work so hard (and she did), to do the accomplish the things you want and there is no amount of sacrifice that will get you there, it blows up the idea of working hard and getting what you want in life. This may have also been generational. As a Gen X, I’m accustomed to working hard and getting little of what I want. That may have not been as much so for her generation.”, as the world economy wasn’t evidently spiraling, as it is now.

Her situation has made me think that the typical origins of narcissism should also include the disappointment of life. There are a lot of quiet stories of people never achieving what they’ve worked for and not everyone comes out the other end settling for it and walking slowly into the light.

Gnar Gnar Bros.

3y↑98

I love listening to this guy! He's so smart, and articulates everything he says so beautifully & so clear! Makes his points so clear!

TexanWineAunt

3y↑2

He has a calm demeanor, me gusta.

trafficjon400

nothing you know about what he's talking about. everything perfect but not one meaning of subject.

It's the kids that suffer :(

51w↑3

These videos really help me keep my sanity after experiencing my ex's completely delusional outlook. Just to know that there is an understanding of this in the medical community gives me hope. "For the narcissist, reality is an aggression." - I've witnessed this first hand soooooo many times. No matter which way you try to address it, being as supportive as one can be, as soon as you get towards reality they get more aggressive and insist that somehow you're the one being aggressive.

Al Crook

2y↑35

A narcissistic pathological liar is hopeless in my opinion. Anyone who can't admit and learn from their mistakes and deny are doomed to suffer. Doubling down when they get called out as a liar or a fake is the narcissists worst enemy. The denial can lead to worse behaviour. Narcissists who are also pathological liars can turn into criminals, rapists, stalkers and child molesters when they lose narcissistic supply.Thank you for an informative video.

susie sa

2y↑4

that described my stalker to the t

1 More Replies...

Gustavo Garcia

1y↑31

This sums up my life. I'm 25, never worked, attended to college but didnt conclude yet. I always felt like I was super inteligent and better than other people, but on the other hand always felt owrthless and unlikable, always had serious problems making friends and interacting and living in general. For many years I feel so ashamed of myself that the only way for me to interacti with someone is to constantly lie. I believed my antisocial tendencies were the mark of the great genius I was, having a much deeper understanding about life and the world could only led to isolation. Only recently, after 4 years of abusing drugs, i managed to get clean and finally perceive that all my thoughts were delusions. Reality does feel like agression indeed. Im supercritical of myself and everyone else too, and literally anything I try to do feels horrible. I don't know what to do and been contemplating ending my life on multiple ocasions, but my belief in God and spirituality prevents me from doing it.

Nancy oni

1y↑7

Ooh no, don't think of harming yourself. You are more worth than you can imagine and so is everyone else. When I remember that I have been bought at a price of the life of Christ, I can't allow anyone to devalue and shake me, neither do I need to hurt the other person who has been bought also by the blood of Jesus. That is the thought I live by. If you do the same, you will value your life because it's not actually yours as it belongs to God, and you will see others as God's property to be respected and loved..make it a habit which eventually will be your character by God's grace. Pray daily to have the mind of Jesus. Philippians 2:5 . What a transformation you will see in your life. God bless

Destined 4 Greatness

My EXACT feeling! You couldn’t have said it better . @user describing being narcissistic.

Rima Dennaoui

1y↑2

We are all capable of improving ourselves, this is why we’ve been put on earth.
No body’s perfect. No race is better than rest. Arrogance is root of all sorts of evil.
I believe from personal pain a person evolves n becomes more caring &compassionate.Find your purpose, don’t settle with anything. Use ur God given intellect, reasoning logic. If you seek you will find. I had some pride, l stomped on it and am a completely different person, than my earlier years.

Viking 52

dont give up

Traci Burnam

1y↑2

You seem pretty self-aware. I believe if you want help, you can benefit from it.

Declan Doherty

3y↑32

Much appreciation for this channel, so informative and humanising. Please keep posting. Frank's wisdom and compassion is inspiring.

Nicki M.

3y↑1

Yes, it is rare you get this perspective. Everyone gives the advice: Narcissist? Can't be healed. Due to their defence mechanisms. RUN!!!!

LasshaLiou

1y↑4

''For the narcissist, reality is an agression'' This is a very powerful statement by Dr. Yeomans. I was blown away. Wow!

nettie a

3y↑84

To maintain her self esteem my mom lies about others. Outrageous stories about her own kids that are fictitious. It’s sad. I had to seek a reason why! Thx for this video

Anna Szabo

2y↑5

Omg, my mother does it!
Always lies about me!!!!

The Tegan Osmond Channel

2y↑1

This seems to be very common. I met a woman one time in her 40s who lied about having a famous modeling career, but would only lie to actual professional models about this and target them. When they would question her on this, she would stalk them and convince others to do the same

ange Cynthia

2y↑3

Mine has reached middle age and none can be around her....she is alone and breaking down and per usual the reality is an aggression,,from the beginning when she realized at 30 she had messed her life up and there is no going back,,she entered a fantasy of destroying my life and to be in it providing breadcrumbs...now I do not want to be around her but she made me such a big part of her life...infact I am too much In her than she is of herself it's breaking her down because it brings to reality what her life is....

Danish D'Abreau

2y↑18

I love that Dr Yeomans talks about mistakes he made with a client. So refreshing.

wideeyed searcher

2y↑35

These videos are brilliant. I wanted to just mention another way in which someone speaks a falsehood; there is delusion, and there is intentional lying to reach a goal, but there is also half-conscious lying in which part of someone knows they are lying, and is probably not very at ease about it, but they are doing it under the power of a strong subconscious compulsion to meet a neglected need. For example, if someone is not aware, or in control of, a rampant need to be loved and accepted, they might lie to keep someone around but not in a fully-conscious, nasty way. They are at the mercy of unconscious, unmet needs. They watch themselves doing it, but they are perhaps partially deluding themselves that this lie is ok, somehow...they do not feel like they have a choice, they are not in control of the decision to lie in that moment. I imagine many of the damaging actions of narcissistic folks in relationships fall into this category. What can seem like the worst gas lighting and manipulation in the world is sometimes fuelled by either delusion or unconscious needs taking over, or both. I speak from both sides of the experience. 😊

Murph

2y↑3

There is confabulation where people subconsciously fill in missing gaps with a manufactured reality and it 'is' real to them. I was left very disturbed by an agressive confrontational company owner who did not have a college degree but sold himself professionally as an engineer. It was a lie, but justified that he was so much better than others that he did not need a degree. I have worked several decades in a different area of engineering to him, and passed my bachelors with honours and had a masters.
There is something odd about talking to someone who is gobsmackingly wrong but unaware as to why they are wrong, and yet talking condescendingly to you like you are some 'jumior' that needs to be educated.
He had theories as to how technical and software systems worked that were bizarre and I then checked up on and found the issues. Once he even (unknowingly) took a piece of code I had written as an 'example' for a tirade at me showing me 'how it should be done'. He would hold 'training' only to be embarrassed by being mistaken or got stuck and needed prompting.
Behind the scenes it is like dealing with uncomprehending robotic machinery that hands him old pages of script from a hack play to read out. A play I think scripted 30 years ago when his supposed 'brilliance' was ignored and he did not make the grade to get into engineering school.

TJ O'Neill

@wideeyed searcher 🙏🙇🏼‍♂️

1 More Replies...

Anthony Millevolte

2y↑8

It is refreshing to hear someone describe the nature of these people without needing to judge them too. He is an extremely empathetic and curious person. I very much appreciate his concise clear descriptions - for example, how he distinguishes between delusion and psychoses. I am sure that he has another metric, perhaps a private one, of how he determines (or senses) the difference between those who are delusional and those that are just lying. The examples he gave fall neatly into those categories - but why?

Indred Cold

3y↑44

My mother and father were both diagnosed with NPD, and they lie lie lie all the time. Constantly. My father always tries to steal from me, and as a former police officer I always manage to catch him in the act. When I ask him why he's stealing from me, he yells, "BECAUSE I'M THE IMPORTANT ONE, NOT YOU"!

Nicki M.

3y↑3

Wow.....

Fanny Mar

2y↑3

Wow!!

A_Boogeyperson

Oh. That's interesting.

Cristina

2y↑1

Wow 😳

Alana Adams

2y↑1

Oh wow

6 More Replies...

Dan Kuehn

2y↑13

He's so frank! (open, honest, and direct, especially when dealing with unpalatable matters)

Sharpe

Very funny,😀 I got that one.

Paulina Merino

3y↑18

Dr. Yeomans is clear and profound. His explanations on NPD are valid not only for patients but for every person who aspires for a more meaningful life.

Tony A

3y↑27

This was a very, very good video. Frank is the best when it comes to examples!

Black Coffee

2y↑24

It's refreshing to hear a therapist on YouTube acknowledge that people with NPD are suffering.

boop

2y↑1

No they’re not Lmao

Rosella Marotta

2y↑1

@boop depends

Black Coffee

2y↑7

@boop If you understand NPD then you'll know they suffer deeply.

Linda Moore

2y↑2

Yes sadly but the ones used to project onto also suffer.

Thief on the Cross

2y↑2

Yeah they suffer like a serial killer suffers in jail.

4 More Replies...

LG

2y↑9

My ex husband is 53 and diagnosed with NPD. He’s retired from Law Enforcement. He screamed at me in a rage because he told me he’s in love with a transgendered person. I said “so you’re LGBT” and he called me delusional and called me a pathological liar.

Offensive Discourse

1y↑2

He doesnt have to be LGBT himself to be attracted to one

Mr. Makedonija

1y↑4

@Offensive Discourse lmaoooo. He is gay at minimum

1 More Replies...

Nail Alchemy

1y↑2

That is so true about reality being an aggression. when trying to kindly and gently mediate with someone about a shared space that they had overtaken, I was told directly that I was being angry and aggressive. It was so weird because it just wasn’t the case in any sense of the word. That’s when I realised that something wasn’t quite usual about the person in question. Now here today confirmed, what happened was that the delusion presenting was directly faced with reality.. angry and aggressive being her behaviour projected out on to me.

Halie C47

2y↑18

Both my father and ex partner lie and do believe their lies, I have witnessed events and later when they relayed their story which included their lies, I pointed out to them that I was present at the time of the event and in fact the events didn’t happen as they said, they looked confused because they actually formed their story and convinced themselves of the delusion. It was then I realised that they actually do believe what they say. My ex did become extremely offended when I pointed out what I had witnessed, I was then in his mind against him and I got the silent treatment and he would punish me by acting out. How dare I point out my reality to him !!!

🌼 m a i

2y↑1

Narcissistic injury = any real threats from actual reality.

Prometheus Predator

2y↑2

Embellished false truths. I am so familiar with this as it reflects some of the features of my narc. malignant golden child brother. He tells half truths and will embellish his stories to high heaven. It is one lie after another. One half truth embellished story after the other. It is sickening and the abuse stories he talks about I am coming to resolve to not believe most of them. One abuse story after another and after hearing the same stories for years I am detached. I went no contact two years ago, because of his threatening aggressive behavior toward me. He is highly triggered by anything and dangerous.

Insidethebrokenstem

2y↑3

Thank you thank you thank you so much for these videos. As someone that is struggling to achieve the most stable relationship possible with someone that has been diagnosed with BPD, these videos are incredible. Since DBT isn’t supported by health insurance, my friend is not getting any treatment and has refused to see anyone that’s under the insurance plan UNLESS they treat all of her the disorders. So, your channel is the best I can do right now. It’s hard because some days I want to give up on this person because it’s caused a lot of pain, but I’ve a lot of faith in her and the possibility for her being a happier person. Seriously, thank you.

Jess

You can buy the DBT workbook online and go through it on your own. Plus there are many books to read on the subject to self educate. Hope this helps!

2 More Replies...

Jack Paterson

1y↑3

I lived with a man who was a sadistic narcist for 10 yrs!I survived because of my strong faith!

Nicki M.

3y↑20

When I said to the narcissist when they were in lying/self delusion mode, 'that's your perspective' (that was the best I could do to diplomatically not dismiss directly their blatant revision and delusion on certain flipped events), they accused me of gaslighting them for using the word 'perspective' 😳. And they were highly offended that I was 'belittling' them and being 'rude'. Really?!

Zena Braithwaite

2y↑8

Do you not find that 90% of the population are "offended" by normal conversation in 2022?

Chris Nilsson

2y↑1

I try to force people who are easily offended to watch some offensive movie or TV show. Like The Life of Brian or South Park. Then I make fun of them if they get offended by it.
"Awww! Did the TV hurt your wittle feelings. Hahaha!"
The look of indignation on their face is priceless.

ESumner

Yes, this is completely common.... daily

Alpha Centauri

2y↑3

SugarFree

3y↑43

It's the blurring, on the part of the narcissist, between self-delusion and lies that makes them so dangerous. Self-delusion is sad; lies are bad. All those around the narcissist are vulnerable to gaslighting themselves into taking the latter for the former - and the narcissist will always help them to do that. Why wouldn't they?

Kevin Lockett

2y↑4

I really like the way you explain things. I have been doing research as I have had a hard time with relationships. I do care and love people so I am
not sure. I just seem to say things that I don’t want to but seem to have a hard time holding back. Anger gets the enemy of me. I try and talk to myself and or God. I now am delegated with my second wife at 42!!!! Live alone and am lonely. I am trying really hard to make positive changes and look at the positively in people. I seem to always want to see all the problems ready to pounce if I need to. I do want to change and ma going to, it’s just going to be harder for me than others. I will stay single as I don’t want to hurt anyone. What is important going forward for me is to treat every interaction as a opportunity to do my best. I hate when I act so stupid. But their is always hope!!!! Goodluck to all who suffer with this. Praying never hurts…..
I will continue to watch you!!! Thankyou

JACOB HIMSELF

2y↑18

The look after he said reality was an aggression with the camera zoom was gold

Chuck Spade

2y↑18

It is entirely possible for a narcissist to be both genuinely deluded and a ratbag that uses lies to shaped to suit their self serving agenda.

Deborah Carder

2y↑2

A ratbag! You made my day.

Andrew Smith

Seems like the one I know

Douglas Graeme Hogg

The most wonderful thing about this film is at 5:09 when Dr Yeomans says "For the narcissist reality is [an] aggression". That is what is so psychotic about Narcs and so baffling and gaslighting for their friends, family and partners, anyone they meet. Your response is "How could somebody possibly think that....but they're so sure....they must be right." As you get to know the Narc, you become more part of the fabric of reality (and less part of their fantasy) and so you become more and more a threat and a bore.

JxFRESHxFLY

2y↑1

I’d be interesting to review a study conducted to determine if narcissistic and delusional people know and comprehend the difference between possibility and probability

Cheryl Ewers

2y↑1

I've had to take these kinds of positions before in order to survive, and it's not difficult to empathize with some of the shame a highly narcissistic person would be likely to feel in most of the offices I was in. Especially when it's all day outbound calling and you're expected to tactfully deal with a full shift of rejection and verbal hostility, the managers tend not to be very choosy, the turnover rate is magnificently high, and the worst narcissists usually don't stay past the paid training. If there's no training then a few days into the work it's just too shame-inducing and they just disappear. Sometimes they're really good at it and end up managing the office as soon as possible. Outbound sales reps often aren't invested in as employees which compounds the shameful atmosphere. I do think sales skills are good to have though and I certainly don't think all salespeople are narcissistic but depending on how the exterior reflects upon the hypothetical new hire and maybe even how useful they are to other narcissists, narcissism will likely help someone have a good run in sales. But telemarketing is definitely down in the weeds and I'm glad to see this therapist correcting his reaction. A narcissistic doctor would not feel sorry in the slightest for shaming a patient for taking a telemarketing gig.

The Organized Playlist

In my experience, therapists tend to shame their patients.

Wazeem Khan

2y↑2

Excellent questions and answers. Good lecture.

Alessandra Peluzzi

2y↑2

It’s liberating to listen to such a nuanced analysis of narcisism as opposed to the usual which hunt

Paul V

2y↑7

6:35
I think that is key. The lies are for the self. If both you and others like your version of reality more than an objective one, then that behavior is repeated.

Ana Lozada

3y↑49

“…Reality is an aggression.”
Boom! 🤯🙌🔥👊💥

Hence, people raging when confronted with reality…😐

Positivfaktor

3y↑3

I have narcissistic traits and I knew this to be true. Yet it 's a whole other story to change that.

Nicki M.

@Positivfaktor Why do you think you have narcissistic traits?

Nicki M.

3y↑9

That is so deep and true. To the victim of narcissistic abuse, they would say the narcissist hates the truth! The act of speaking the truth and/or challenging their delusion is felt as an act of aggression that causes narcissistic injury.

trafficjon400

we all burn any way whether creation is real; or not. GOD Sounds and what ever he is evil murder blood shed comes true every day.

J.A. Fligor

As on CRT and PC B's.

6 More Replies...

Kyna Thomas

1y↑3

The narcissists I knew spent all of his life smoking marijuana , drinking, and chasing women. I once asked him what were his plans for the future? He stated " I'm going to be a millionaire one day."
I asked how was he gonna do that when he doesn't even have a high school diploma? He replied with so much anger " I don't need to have a high school diploma to become a millionaire ".
I then replied " Do you have the numbers to win the mega millions ?"
The look on his face was anger to say the least.

Kelly York

1y↑4

Sam Vatkin states they know exactly what they are doing and are actually very attuned to their “audience”
because they NEED their attention and feedback. They must have their “supply” or die. So they are constantly going through the feedback they get from their “supply” and are changing their responses to get/keep more supply. So, according to Sam, they definitely know right from wrong, and outside of very rare dissociative episodes, they are very aware of what they are doing and even that it may be hurting others. So if you think they are psychotic, then perhaps we are taking about a person who is more than just a narcissist and who may have other co-morbidities???

Zardoz

1y↑3

I lived in Hollywood for many years. I learned a lot about narcissism.

The Organized Playlist

They seem to be everywhere in my world. Make it stop lol.

Ed Green

2y↑9

Entitlement as a defense against dependency. Reality is an aggresser against the story they are telling about themselves.

Linda Moore

2y↑5

Self esteem is also a big problem so the delusions are functional in a way to give a better internal ideal if themselves without really doing anything positive about the self esteem So the delusion is like a crutch to use like drugs or alcohol for the addictive personality.The ego being so large also is a major problem separates the person from the higher self causing stagnation no growth.I think that is the main problem As healthy self esteem comes from growth not stagnation.Not a shrink but my 2 cents 😂

Dawn S. Tyler

“For the narcissist, reality is an aggression.” 😮

Charalampos Katsogr

3y↑4

Amazingly conscise. Thank you so much

K K

1y↑1

Reality is an aggression, spot on

Linda Moore

2y↑3

It's a combination of both what works at a given moment for a given goal.

Brad McEwen

3y↑13

It does seem when the delusions are projected as part of another's persona when it is obvious its gaslighting is when a person becomes toxic and a must to avoid. Narcissistic fleas can jump onto a uncombative too exhausted to reason with a malicious intent. Doesn't matter if it's intentional or natural. It's toxic.

SugarFree

3y↑1

Hey Brad :)

The Neon Cicada

3y↑3

Those "fleas" tend to be maladaptive coping strategies that people adopt in response to someone else's personality disorder.

Nicki M.

3y↑1

@The Neon Cicada Whatever the reasons those 'fleas' exist because of and as a result of the person's personality disorder. The end conclusion is the same. The other is impacted negatively.

trafficjon400

2y↑1

IT KILLS WITH NO REMORSE. Yet they keep these types out of prison.

vinny spina

2y↑2

Excellent video! Spot on I would also like to add this comment about something called gaslighting witch is difficult to imagine but all narcissists have severe problems with memory so if you ask them a question about the past in some cases they remember bits and pieces and answer the question pertaining to 5 years ago like they are answering it today once a narcissist was bashing Donald trump telling me that since Hillary lost all of us had no idea what was coming during trump's years he bashed everything he did then he proceeded to jump on the Biden wagon and support him as so as he couldn't afford to drive his shinny gas guzzling pickup truck who's bed has never been used I walked in to his house one day to the sound of "if trump was in office non of this would be happening to us so I couldn't resist by saying didn't you vote for this guy he replied with a laugh and said I'm a trump supporter I understood right away that right at that moment his mind was thinking that only a idiot would vote for Biden and it wouldn't be possible for someone with his IQ to do such a thing so he actually believes that he was a trump supporter.

Emily Mulligan

48w

Subash Fernando

2y↑3

Certain cultures and their expectations can foster this delusion/lie with career, especially within diaspora communities in wealthy countries. It's easier to maintain the cover when the people of the diaspora don't know anyone within the other worlds of their fellow immigrants like work, school, house of worship. I knew a lady who implied for many years that she had a high position within the state dept of transportation. It turned out that she worked at a toll booth. This was back in the day before automatic toll-by-plate. In those days it was a great job with high pay, excellent pension and other benefits, but I think she was still ashamed of it. When I went through the toll I also felt secondhand shame because I knew she would be afraid that I would tell everyone (I told no one). She also couldn't ask me not to tell, because that would prove intentional effort to mislead. She was right to feel this way because this particular diaspora community had an unkind hierarchy.

Tom Birmingham

1y↑2

wow, people with NPD are next level delusitonal. I was stoned and operating under some really bad conceptsof myself. (not really) like i was catfished by someone and i deluded myself into believin the nice things they said about me. It kinda makes me cry a bit.

Chilly Willy

2y↑2

Life never can live up to their fantasies. It will always disappoint.

Anthony Ramaseur

3y↑16

Right when a narcissist is lying on me due to a smear campaign this video gets posted lol love yall

SANTANA Page

2y↑4

Lol too funny! My narcissistic friend wouldn't tell me her title because she said it was" top secret " so she couldn't disclose her title, mind you I've known her since I was 5 years old and I still don't understand why she felt the need to hide her position

Manny Chada

50w

I married a narcissistic histrionic personality who faked a suicide to get attention I went through a lot my mother thought I was bipolar and dragged me to a support group meeting to only find out from the head organizer who made an immediate assessment that I was not. I never got defensive and I was open to going to the meeting but later realized people can get misdiagnosed and do you know the reason why? Ask me???

Lynn Whalen

1y↑1

I understand that you might of thought the woman was a telemarketer but there is a fortune 100 company that does help desk support for over 70 other companies in one of their corporate locations. Depending on the company assigned and if she was lv. 1 or lv. 2 support, the woman could have been handed a list of people in need of a higher support base. These higher levels are typically rolled up to a more sophisticated support desk. Most working these would have an extended contact time. I worked a USDA account our minimum solve time on a Lv. 2 was 1 week. I interviewed with another company that dealt with updating card readers for convenience stores and gas stations. This involved getting a list of clients using the companies software, Contacting the stores and scheduling the store for a time when they could afford possibly a 6 hour down time for upgrading software. This was critical because taking a store offline when the software company wanted could cause a major loss of profits. Since the company needed to monitor the transfer, the tech and the client had to fully agree on a time that worked for both. A telemarketer is typically someone who could calls for commission sales. I loved my job but I was by no means just a telemarketer. Within the help desk I worked for the USDA. We did coordination of federal fires throughout the U.S. We remotely fixed store issues with SNAP benefit reader problems. We also remotely assisted with electronic issues within the Federal Forrest service. Especially these days remote workers do a whole lot more then just the telemarketer position.

AccordionLover

A narcissist can be quite succesful but lack capacity to experience it? So, it can be a bad trait because they can not see the meaning in what everyone else are doing. They downplay and degrade everything around them and say to people that they have nothing to be happy or content about.

g

2y↑2

A boy I met within hours started saying to me "I love you". He said it so many times....and I get it. I was infatuated with him quiet fast too. But then I asked him to call me by my name, and he couldn't remember my name🤣..... How can you love some whose name you don't even remember????
He was convinced he loved me. But I remembered his first AND his last name, and I didn't claim to love him. Yet I "loved" him (without saying it) more than he did me - at least I remembered his full name! So, looking back, I believe that he was delusional and probably confused lust with love.
We both had been very lustful towards each other. Yet I still know the difference between lust and love. Lust made me feel extremely happy and high(dizzy from pleasure), but I would never call that intense, head-spinning and powerful pleasure/happiness sensation "love". Love is more about peace, trust and reliability= a stable sense of pleasure rather than intensely high/intoxicating sense of pleasure. And I am sure he felt lust for me but was just delusional about it and thought that such powerful sensations must be nothing short of "true love".
Lust(having a crush) is more like a tornado - a whirlwind of pleasure that will sweep you off your feet. Love is more like a stable good weather through many seasons. But a tornado is extremely strong and sensational. It is so powerful that many people confuse it for love. Hence, they become delusional about their own lust. But seriously, you can never truly love someone whose name you don't even know!

The Organized Playlist

It can also be limerance.

Rho Bot

So good!!!!

Star 123

Excellent video 👍🏼

Jeff Marcuse

The hierarchy of heaven is different than the hierarchy of hell. Basically, psychopaths study empaths to see what they like and don't like. Then they send sociopaths to destroy what the empaths don't like.

Dawn Emile

2y↑1

Well the therapist can't always be perfect. The revelation probably suddenly came upon him and he verbalized it - a eureka moment. It's just normal.

Richard Koenigsberg

2y↑3

Yes, REALITY is an AFFRONT to EVERYONE.

Jamie Holmes

2y↑1

Speak for yourself my freind.

Bluest

2y↑3

One thing about narcissist parents: real life details, the minutia, is just offensive to them. They are too cool for it, too important. They can't stand it.

natatattful

Can you elaborate? This is something I think I see but I doubt myself, saying why should/would they care.

Bluest

1y↑1

@natatattful Sure. Well, picking kids up from school, or participating in some frivolous thing that's mostly only relevant to kids... they are too cool for it, too important for it, too grandiose for it.. and most of all, too truly miserable. They know that they would eventually have to face themselves with the loss of that facade, and that would be intolerable. They are too grandiose for the petty details of being a mom or dad.

due whit

2y↑7

The treatment for people whove been abused neglected and unloved is ........

Love

Imagine that one, folks!

due whit

@ESumner no but it is true

ESumner

2y↑2

@due whit only the love of Jesus can help them but they have to be willing... it’s bigger than another human can cure.

The Organized Playlist

@due whit Where can one find love? I'd like some.

1 More Replies...

Meg Gallucci

2y↑3

Sorry, I think calling a spade a spade is appropriate. She was a telemarketer. But then, I grew up with narcissist parents, both of them, and in thinking back to my deficient childhood, I believe they had long periods of self-awareness. They did go out into the world and understood appropriate behavior. They exhibited social tendencies around others and saved their anti-social behavior for their children, and in the case of my mother, for her children and her own mother as well. They knew.

Stay at Home Cichlid Mom

2y↑3

I've found that they want everyone on the outside to think they are wonderful so they force themselves to be "nice" "helpful" only to come home exhausted and complaining about how much they did and how wonderful they are, using iit as an example as to how what you say about them is WRONG because they are always doing nice things and thinking of other people, even our neighbors think so.
The confusing part to me is, even though I have times were I loose myself and question my sanity, I'm never quiet for long and I am capable of "waking " him up, even if it's only for a few hours and I honestly think he enjoys it.
I remind him that I'm only still here because I can't go anywhere else, but the second Im able,
Boggles my mind how someone can be so stuck and never grow as a person. They are as deep as a puddle. I guess they don't realize how sad if
a life that sounds to others.

Angela Savinelli

Employment may not be helpful for people because of the many personalities in the work environment some of which can be toxic for someone who is struggling to find themselves in a realistic way.

You can call me Ana

2y↑4

Now I've heard him reference the movie studio executive before, sure, she sounds pretty narcissistic, but I think he's missed a trick. It's her father who has contacted him for help in this case, but if her father has been supporting this "little princess" all her life (it sure sounds like that no?) Wouldn't that give a clue to some of her "personality defects" shall we say? I mean if she's never had a job before, who's fault is that? I think good parenting probably comes with the unwritten caveat, that you teach your children how to work, it's not a skill that just emerges one day.

Crush_Cake

2y↑1

Did you ever consider that presidents get their intel from their advisors? Maybe the people in charge of his campaign are partially responsible for his success and their jobs are dependent on how well he does so they tell him his turn out was the biggest in history.

L

2y↑5

"For the narcissist, reality IS an aggression." mic drop

S T

1y↑1

Calling out a narc on their lies is percieved by them as an insult,a lie,an act of aggression.

Alia Campbell

2y↑4

If they are unaware of the lie, hence self-delusion why would they get aggressive and offended when somebody tells the truth?

The Organized Playlist

1y↑1

I think it's kind of a mix of a conscious and subconscious process. Wernicke Korsakoff helped me understand this.

Daniel

3y↑1

This is perfect to see after watching the Tom Gerardi documentary!

Positivfaktor

3y↑6

I think delusion and lie overlap each other

Vicious circle

Be interested to know if that is apart of splitting

D Piddy

Lovely speaker and interview

osofroeschle

2y↑1

You know, I could be splitting hairs here, and I could certainly imagine this guy having a neuropathy diagnosis for me or suspicion at least by diagnosing this comment; but there is a connotation to "telemarketer" or at least a stigma of their being a Bullpen con men nature to the job. Depending on the structure of the corporation it could be a company of 9 people with whom she sits in with regularly to discuss the company as the sole sales rep.

WalkerHoundGal

2y↑4

Every person he is describing has the symptoms of trauma.
This type of therapist isn’t going anywhere near whatever happened to them to make them shut down. He’s shaming them as if they’re unmotivated, lazy, and a drain on society.
It’s obvious trauma, and if they worked with a certified recovery coach, they would be happily getting on with their lives and living the life they want to live, not just taking a course because their therapist thinks they’re a POS.

theotormon

1y↑2

He isn't shaming them. He didn't say any of those things.

Ben Streckert

😂

Lulu 83

1y↑1

Most people have to lie to themselves first and convince themself of the lie before they go on telling that lie to others

Aaron F

I wouldn’t say most people. Please speak for yourself only. You don’t know what most people do or think

VincenzOK

2y↑1

5:05-5:10 Very strategic zoom to trigger the narcisist's reminder of their own chicanery.

Healthy Mind Counseling Wellness Center

Great overview

Rn Kn

3y↑5

Imagine a self-delusion about election results could actually cause people to grant someone power.

GCW-G

3y↑1

I think that he channels their anger - allows them to "split" in comfort.

Indred Cold

3y↑1

My father has NPD and he's virtually a carbon copy of Trump. He needed a plumber, but when they come by he gives them such a hard time they never want to come back. I'm contacting plumber #5 because none of the others will answer my calls because of my father - they don't want to deal with him.

GCW-G

@Indred Cold I'm so sorry.

Nathalie Dufour

2y↑6

We were spoilt with trump, we could observe many facets of NPD almost daily for four years, he is a perfect example of a grandiose narc.

ESumner

2y↑1

Asking them questions about their delusional narratives is aggressive lol 🤦🏻‍♀️

liv Freely

One manifestation of narcissism /self - delusion would be thinking for even a second that you know more about anything political /secular than Donald Trump would. And it's rampant.

She is Awestruck ♡

Sounds like there are a ton of narcissists in this chat who are labeling others as being narcissistic. Not all but many! The irony in that delusion is real because it’s being displayed blatantly in narcissistic YouTube video comment sections 🤨

Marc Marmolejo

2y↑2

Too many psychologist are liberals lol but I’ll let it slide because he has a lot of good information. Haha Thank you Doc for the video.

matt L

1y↑1

Listen when he says all these people “don’t do anything meaningful with their lives,” nobody does anything without meaning. So what were they meaning? The girl is “deluded” BECAUSE she thinks she’d going to be a movie studio director when she’s “ready to work”? Another way of seeing it is “when I get my issue straightened out snd can be present and self- actualized and connected, I’d like to be/do….” That’s what she MEANS. This is what a good therapist would hear her saying. And work from that standpoint with her. This guy couches his judgmental snipe - iness in soothing tones of professional sounding blame. Maybe he should come to terms with how his mom shamed him as a lousy worker when as a skinny kid he couldn’t carry a sack of potatoes down the stairs to the baement. Or something like that.

matt L

@Dans white thanks for taking the time to respond. great answer Dan.

matt L

1y↑1

@Dans white what i heard him saying was different than what you got out of it, thanks for taking the time to post your view on it and present a different and probably more accurate take.

1 More Replies...

Tyreek Taylor

I m having these symptoms right now

Randall Pattee

Yea ; mostly fight with reality not people. Re : The ending ; " Only one dismissing is you" Yea push everyone away for lone alone time because otherwise I'm like ; How does that make friend thing work ? At the end sounds like he found the 'y' in yiddish. Always there..super crazy. Not gonna chase skirts though ; gonna be creep free as possible.

Shako's Smut Cinema of Iniquity

2y↑1

HARD YARDS WHEN THE CLIENT IS PROJECTING ON THAT LEVEL AND YET LACKS THAT KIND OF SELF AWARENESS...

matt L

1y↑2

Here’s the problem : listen to this guy when he says “what do you do for work?” What does thet have to do with a psychology discussion? Listen when this guy says “he does nothing with his life except smoke dope and play video games” and thinks he’ll “sail into a corporate job” when he decides to work. He’s got his own bias about “what you do with your life” defining the person when if they’re not ambitious it’s symptomatic of problematic beliefs or relationship dynamics. Not a defining statement about the worth of the person. The people are there to get help for their lack of ambition or small beliefs about themselves or lack of coping skills , not be judged by this anemic stork of a man.

Andrew Nuttall

2y↑4

Trump knew it wasn't the largest crowd, and he was not deluded about it. When he said that, it was spin. The father of public relations, Edward Bernays, is famous for this tactic. Unfortunately, for a psychotherapist, it would be hard to see the difference. Do not make the mistake that this is an argument that Trump was not narcissistic. This is just pointing out that this was a poor example because it is a widely-used PR technique and a common mistake among certain types of therapists due to their training.

MsHeartIsArt

He believes his own lies. He doesn’t feel lovable.

2 More Replies...

JimiG

Way to analyze your mistake to better serve your patients in the future. What are your thoughts on confronting a borderline woman who's aggressive behaviors have caused her 22 yr old son a heart attack and resulting serious heart condition? She won't speak about it. She refuses to acknowledge any personal responsibility for the stress she induced that caused her son to have a heart attack and develop a serious heart condition that he will deal with for the rest of his life. She even has my son in denial of her manipulations and the consequences that he has suffered as a result. She's created a false narrative around this matter and is understandable very sensitive to any mention of it. Shes hyper vigilant and it's causing other issues that apparently I'm the only person who sees as unhealthy. I've had to let it go myself so as not to aggravate anything further and I feel like I'm enabling this delusional thinking my conscious self will not let it go because I know that it's wrong. I guess my question is what are the consequences of allowing this false reality or denial of the truth to go on unchecked? For my son who suffers a real physical ailments as a result of his mother's mental Illness and her manipulations...for the mother who lives in denial of causing this real physical ailment in an otherwise healthy son...and to the father who knows it's wrong but must go along so as not to upset the delicate environmental balance of a borderline woman's household. I feel like enabling this lie is sucking the life out of all of us. Any thoughts, musings, insights are appreciated.

NMT Delightful Music

You can not heal borderline... No contact as usual with narcisists :)

Edmund Sveikutis

1y↑1

So trump was perhaps the first politician to be used as an example of a narcissist. Wow and I thought it would be one of the Democrats. To be honest I was trying to find out about narcissism, not one eyed political opinions.

cmbrx

49w↑1

Fear less, Love more

The Oracle

2y↑1

I think you got Trump mixed up with Biden,Biden gets off his plane and waves at roughly 4 or 5 people.

Jim S.

2y↑1

Not all sales positions at corporations are telemarketing even if you work for some of the biggest companies in the world you contact the customer by phone and it is not telemarketing as the title. Closing extremely complex business to business deals over the phone often are done by executives making well over six figures, not the same as a call center representative.

T H

2y↑1

We know that. We also think he knows that. We also think he knows exactly what he was talking about.

Jim S.

@T H he obviously is a good therapist and does his job well. I am simply commenting on his hoity toity demeanor of what is productive or not productive etc.

The Art Z Scientist

2y↑1

I liked this man until I figured out that he has narcissism. He tells his patients what to think.

J.A. Fligor

2y↑1

,,😂

Barbie Case

2y↑1

When you brought Trump into it you became uncredible.

Sameoldfitup

A person with EUPD can never be trusted with their emotions.'' ---

The Catholic Girl

3y↑1

It was the biggest crowd. It’s interesting that Frank is deluded in the group narcissism of the culture. I would think he’d be more self-aware. It’s just numbers. And that’s my field of expertise - mathematics/statistics. Disappointing.