Selfish
Elko Lyrics

Smoking cigarettes to feel something
I am engaging in a bad habit that gives me some form of sensation, trying to ignore the weight on my shoulders.

Daddy issues don't mean nothing
My father's inability to provide me comfort or support is meaningless to me at this moment.

I tell myself that he means nothing
I try to convince myself that my father's absence does not affect me, but that is not the case.

But who am I kidding? Yeah
In reality, I am aware and not ignorant of the pain that comes with it.

Saying I'm worthless and good riddance
I convince myself that my absence would mean nothing to you, that I am insignificant and not valued.

Maybe we should just keep our distance
Perhaps it is best that we stay away from each other to avoid the hurt and disappointment.

After time we can try and fix shit
Maybe in the future, when things have calmed down, we can attempt to reconcile and mend our relationship.

Trust right now I ain't tryna fix shit
But currently, I do not feel inclined to fix what has been broken because I am hurting and prioritizing myself.

So am I selfish
I am wondering if my desire to prioritize myself above others is considered selfish or necessary self-care.

Am I selfish yeah
I question this again, asking if it is wrong to prioritize myself when it is necessary for my own well-being.

I've seen your worst so now I'm hurt so I'm fuckin selfish
I have witnessed your worst, and the pain that it caused me has turned me both hurt and selfish.

I put me first I know my worth
I prioritize myself because I am aware of my own value.

Working hard to break your grip
I am doing everything in my power to escape your hold over me.

No way that I sustain it
I cannot continue to maintain this painful and draining relationship.

Yeah you've got your expectations
You have set specific expectations of me that are difficult to meet and are causing me stress and anxiety.

Can't expect no one to take em
You cannot place your expectations on others without their consent or willingness to cooperate.

You don't see
You are not aware or do not understand the extent of my pain and struggle.

What I see
I am witnessing and experiencing first-hand the pain and agony that comes with this relationship.

All the pain all the agony
This relationship brings nothing but pain and turmoil to me.

You don't believe what you don't see
You are unwilling to understand my struggles and therefore cannot believe the extent of my pain.

Having to be less to love me
I must be someone different and suppress my true self to earn your love and validation, which is not healthy nor sustainable.

Tell you how I feel
I am expressing and communicating my emotions and sentiments to you.

Feelings you Ignore
You choose to overlook or dismiss my feelings, causing further hurt and resentment.

Made me feel unreal
Your disregard for my emotions makes me feel like I am not real, unimportant, and not worth your attention.

And feel nothing at all
I am numb to the pain caused by this relationship.

Hard to choke my words
It is difficult for me to speak freely about my emotions and experiences because of the tension and lack of understanding between us.

I'm against the wall
I am backed into a corner with no escape or resolution to our problems.

Yeah you cut me deep
Your words or actions have deeply hurt me and left a lasting impact on my emotional state.

And you let me crawl
You do not offer me any support or assistance when I am struggling, leaving me to handle the pain and turmoil on my own.

That makes me selfish
Prioritizing myself over others, especially for self-care and emotional health purposes, is considered selfish, but necessary sometimes.

That makes me selfish
This is repeated again, emphasizing that prioritizing oneself is not always negative or toxic behavior.