Hands
Flatsound Lyrics

I always liked how your hands looked
I admired the appearance of your hands

And not just in comparison to mine
I didn't just like them because they looked better than mine

They were an artists hands
Your hands were skilled and creative

Used from building walls and
Your hands were used for constructing walls

Skin covered in clay that cracked as it dried
Your skin was covered in clay that cracked as it hardened

You see, I have two thoughts
I have two specific thoughts

Before touching someones hands
Before making physical contact with someone's hands

Are they soft? I hope not
I hope their hands are not too soft

Not too soft
Not too gentle or weak

Because four years ago I fell into a hole
Four years ago, I was in a difficult situation

So as soon as they touch
As soon as their hands make contact with mine

I wonder if they're strong enough
I question if their hands are strong enough to help me

To help pull me to the top
To pull me out of the hole

And are they cold? god I hope so
I hope their hands are cold

Because mine are so cold
My hands are extremely cold

That anytime someone touches them
Every time someone touches my hands

They ask me if something's wrong
They inquire if there is something wrong with me

I know that most people have walls but
Most people have emotional barriers

I just don't think mine are the same
I feel like my barriers are different

You are hiding away
You are concealing yourself

I am trying to escape
I am attempting to break free

I am inside of a cave
I am metaphorically inside a cave

Trying to retain the memory
I am holding on to a memory

Of the last time that I saw the light of the day
The most recent time that I experienced happiness

And I told you that where I am felt permanent
I expressed to you that my situation felt unchangeable

And you told me to give it time because nothing is
You advised me that things can change with time

But the minute our hands touched I felt something click
The moment our hands touched, I felt an instant connection

Because they were strong
Your hands were powerful

With the force to dig your nails into the earth
Capable of piercing the ground with your nails

And make the world suddenly stop
Able to halt the world's movement completely

And they were cold
Your hands were cold

Like the metal gears and glass casing
As cold as the mechanisms of a clock

Constructing a clock
Building a clock

And I know that I'm not moving fast enough
I realize that I am not making progress quickly

I know that so much time has already passed us up
A lot of time has already elapsed

And I know that it must be frustrating to stand in front
I understand it must be infuriating to confront

Of someone who keeps promising you that they'll get better
Someone who frequently assures you that they will improve

Without the evidence to back it up
Without sufficient proof to substantiate their claims

But you have to trust me
You need to have faith in me

The past is ugly
The past is unpleasant

But I'll make it to the other side as long as I know
I'll endure as long as I know

That when I get there I'll have somebody
That I'll have someone with me when I reach the other side

Please, I know that I can do this
Please, I know that I can overcome this

I just need another half a month
I just need two more weeks

I can pull through this
I can persevere through this hardship

I just need our hands to touch
I only need our hands to connect

You said that you would always look for me in the crowd
You said that you would search for me among a large group of people

With the same eagerness that a child sifts through the lost and found
With the same enthusiasm as a child looking through lost items

Searching for anything that felt missing
Looking for anything that seems misplaced or lacking

Never considering what would happen the moment you stopped
Without thinking about what would happen when the search ends

As if the moment you're not looking for an object
As if the moment you cease searching for something

Is the moment it stops being lost
Is the moment it is no longer considered lost

I get it, you were cold
I understand, you were cold

But I wanted to be more than just a coat
I wanted to be more than a simple garment

Clinging onto a body that I was never constructed to hold
Holding onto a body that I was not created to embrace

Or a mirror to look into when your reflection
Or a reflective surface to view yourself when

Stopped looking like a person that you know
Your reflection no longer resembles the person you recognize

I know that you know the feeling of new clothes
I know you understand the sensation of wearing new clothing

But do you know what it's like
But do you understand what it's like

To sit at the bottom of a box every night
To sit at the bottom of a container every night

Replaying the fantasy of cold hands reaching inside
Reliving the fantasy of cold hands coming to my aid

To take you home
To bring me home

You said you felt lost when you were found out
You said you felt confused when you were discovered

The death of our hands on your couch
The end of our physical connection on your sofa

Was the birth of discovery
It was the beginning of a realization

That someone else's hands
That someone else's hands

Could feel cold
Were able to feel cold

And in that sudden rush
In that intense moment

I thought of all the hands
I considered all the hands

That could help me build a home
That could assist me in constructing a place to belong

And none of them looked like yours
And none of those hands resembled yours