Titties and Beer
Frank Zappa Lyrics

It was the blackest night!
The night was incredibly dark and devoid of any light.

There was no moon in sight!
There was no visible moon in the sky.

(you know the stars ain't shinin' 'cause the sky's too tight)
The stars were not visible because the sky was too congested or obscured.

I heard the scary wind!
I could hear the eerie and unsettling sound of the wind.

I seen some ugly trees!
I observed some unattractive or distorted trees.

There was a werewolf honkin', 'long the side of me!
There was a werewolf making loud and unpleasant noises near me.

I'm mean 'n i'm bad, (y'know i ain't no sissy)
I am tough and rough, emphasizing that I am not weak or cowardly.

Got a big-titty girly by the name of 'chrissy'
I have a well-endowed and attractive girlfriend named Chrissy.

Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me...
Discussing my relationship with Chrissy and my motorcycle.

'n this ride up the mountain of mystery, (mystery)
Referring to the journey or adventure we are embarking on, characterized by profound uncertainty and intrigue.

(how 're you doin'?)
Asking the listener how they are fairing or feeling.

I noticed even the crickets Acted weird up here
Even the usually rhythmic and predictable crickets were behaving strangely in this elevated location.

And so i figured i might Just drink a little beer
Deciding to have some beer as a means to cope or relax.

I said, "gimme summa that what yer suckin' on..." But there was no reply 'cause she was gone!
Requesting a sip of the drink someone was consuming, but realizing they had disappeared without responding.

"where's those titties i like so well, 'n' my goddam beer!"
Expressing frustration and anger over the absence of both the desired breasts and beer.

Is what i started to yell, then i heard this noise Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the devil!
A sudden noise resembling the sound of breaking twigs caught my attention, and then the devil appeared unexpectedly.

(he's about this big!)
Using a hand gesture to indicate the devil's small size or stature.

He had a red suit on An' a widow's peak 'n then a pointed tail 'n like a sulphur reek
Describing the devil's appearance, wearing a red suit, having a distinctive hairline, a pointed tail, and emitting a foul odor reminiscent of sulfur.

Yes, it was him awright, I swear i knowed it was!
Affirming without a doubt that the individual I encountered was indeed the devil.

He had some human flesh Stuck underneath his claws
Noticing that the devil had fragments of human skin caught in his claws, likely from previous victims.

You know, it looked to me Like it was titty skin!
Realizing that the flesh stuck to the devil's claws appeared to be from someone's breasts.

I said, "you son-of-a-bitch!" ('cause i was mad at him!)
Reacting angrily to the devil's presence and cursing him because of my frustration.

He just got out his floss 'n started cleanin' his fang
The devil calmly took out dental floss and began to clean his sharp tooth or fang.

So i shot him with my shooter, Said: bang! bang! bang!
In an act of aggression, I fired my gun multiple times at the devil, uttering the sounds of the gunshots.

Then the sucker just laughed 'n said: "put it away! You know, i ate her all up...now what you Gonna say?"
The devil responded to my gunfire with laughter and revealed that he had already consumed my girlfriend, challenging me to come up with a response.

You ate my chrissy? "yeah! titties 'n all!"
Expressing shock and disbelief that the devil had devoured my girlfriend, including her breasts.

Well what about the beer then? "now, were the cans this tall?"
Questioning the devil about the fate of the beer, to which he responds dismissively by asking if the cans were as tall as portrayed.

Even her boots? "would i lie to you?"
Enquiring whether the devil consumed my girlfriend's boots, to which he sarcastically asserts that he wouldn't lie.

Shit, you musta been hungry! "yeah, this is true."
Commenting that the devil must have been extremely hungry to devour everything, to which he agrees.

Don't they pay you good for the Stuff that you do?
Questioning the devil if he is sufficiently compensated for the actions he performs.

"well, you know, i can't complain when the checks come through..."
The devil responds by stating that he cannot complain when he receives payment for his services.

Well i want my chrissy, Oh yeah?
Asserting my desire to have my girlfriend Chrissy back and challenging the devil's response.

'n i want my beer Hah!
Expressing my demand to be reunited with both my girlfriend and the beer, emphasizing my defiance towards the devil.

So you just barf it back up! Now, devil, do you hear?
Commanding the devil to regurgitate what he consumed and questioning if he understands my demand.

Look: "blow it out your ass, motorcycle man!
The devil responds disrespectfully and provocatively, dismissing my request with a vulgar insult.

I mean, i am the devil, do you understand? Just what will you give me for your Titties and beer?
Reminding me of his identity as the devil and inquiring what I am willing to offer in exchange for the return of my girlfriend and the beer.

I suppose you noticed this little Contract here..."
Drawing attention to a contract or agreement that is likely to dictate the terms of our arrangement.

Yer goddam right, you son-of-a-whore! Don't call me that!
Responding angrily to the devil's insult and objecting to being referred to in such a derogatory manner.

That's about the only reason I learned writin' for!
Highlighting that the only reason I have acquired the ability to write is to effectively deal with contracts and negotiations like this.

Gimme that paper! bet yer horns i'll sign! Because i need a beer, 'n it's titty- Squeezin' time!
Demanding the contract and boldly stating my willingness to sign it, driven by my strong desire for beer and intimate encounters.

"man, you can't fool me! you ain't that bad! Oh yeah? Why you shoulda seen some of the souls that i've had! There was milhous nixon 'n agnew too! 'n both of those suckers was worse 'n you!"
The devil challenges my assertion that I am not bad enough, listing other souls he has dealt with, including Milhous Nixon and Agnew, suggesting they were even more despicable than me.

Let's make a deal if you think That's true
Proposing a deal or agreement now that the devil has acknowledged the possibility of my claim.

I mean, you're supposed to be the devil so...whatcha Gonna do?
Reminding the devil of his role and questioning what course of action he will take.

Heh?
Using a casual and somewhat challenging expression to elicit a response from the devil.

Now hold on just a second... You wanna make a deal with me hah?
The devil expresses surprise and requests a moment to consider my proposition.

Yeah! Well ah, i don't know man, you know... I just don't know about this...
Expressing uncertainty and hesitation about entering into a deal with me, questioning the feasibility of our arrangement.

What? See, cause i... Listen, you're...are you losing your nerve?
Challenging the devil's hesitancy and suggesting that he may be backing down from the agreement out of fear or uncertainty.

No man, it ain't got nothin' to do with nerve... You're supposed to be the devil! It's got to do...
Denying any loss of nerve and emphasizing that his role as the devil is not the issue, hinting at some other underlying concern.

You're supposed to be bad! It's got to do with style, fool!
Reiterating that the devil should exhibit a specific style or attitude, suggesting that he lacks the necessary traits.

I don't know if you've the right style to get into hell, You know...
Casting doubt on the devil's suitability or compatibility with the hellish domain, questioning if he possesses the appropriate attributes.

Well, actually, to tell you...tell you the honest to god Truth, I'm very short on style as a matter of fact...
Admitting that he lacks the desired style, honestly confessing his deficiency in that regard.

Yeah, i know...that's...that's what makes me wonder
Acknowledging the fact that his lack of style is the reason for my doubt and uncertainty.

But i have...i, i think i have something that You may be interested in...
Suggesting that despite his lack of style, he possesses something that might capture the devil's attention or interest.

What is that?
The devil inquires about the nature of that something I possess that might be of interest.

You can have my soul It's a mean little sucker 'bout a thousand years old
Offering my soul to the devil, emphasizing its unpleasant nature and considerable age of about a thousand years.

But once you gets it You can't give it back You gotta keep it forever An' that's a natural fact!
Clarifying that once the devil possesses my soul, it cannot be returned, and he will be obliged to keep it indefinitely.

Ooh wee! Do you read me devil?
Expressing excitement or enthusiasm regarding the deal and asking the devil if he comprehends the terms.

Oh yeah!
The devil confirms his understanding and acceptance of the deal.

What? am i supposed to be scared, man?
The devil questions whether he is expected to feel fear or intimidation in response to my offer.

Oh yeah, reety, aw-righty! Oh yeah, that's real tough!
Mockingly responding to my tough demeanor and suggesting that I am not as intimidating as I believe myself to be.

I bet you're real bad!
Challenging my assertion of being bad by sarcastically insinuating that I am not as bad as I claim to be.

Listen fool, you've got to prove to me that you're rough Enough to get into hell
Asserting that I need to demonstrate my toughness or rough nature in order to qualify for entry into hell.

That you've got the style enough to get into hell So start talkin'...
Requiring me to convince him that I possess the appropriate style or attitude to be welcomed into hell, prompting me to justify myself.

Alright, lemme tell ya somethin'
Consenting to his demand and preparing to share a statement or piece of information.

I'll prove to you that i'm bad enough to go to hell
Promising to demonstrate my level of toughness and badness, convincing him of my suitability for hell.

Because i have been through it!
Asserting that I have endured experiences or challenges that have shaped my toughness and resilience.

I have seen it!
Claiming to have witnessed or encountered the harsh reality or darkness of hell.

It has happened to me!
Stating that I have personally undergone or experienced the very things that define hell.

Remember, i was signed with warner brothers For eight fuckin' years!!!
Recalling the duration of my contract with Warner Brothers, emphasizing the significant time span during which I faced challenging experiences.

Tell me about it!
Encouraging the devil to inquire further or seek details regarding my experiences with Warner Brothers.

Now you're talkin' about something! Now how bad is that?
Acknowledging the significance and severity of the situation, emphasizing the challenging nature of my experiences with Warner Brothers.

That sounds good to me, motherfucker!
Expressing agreement and satisfaction regarding the recognition of my tough experiences, using strong language for emphasis.

So move right along Tell me what your interests are, you know...
Encouraging the devil to proceed and express his interests or desires, encouraging further conversation and negotiation.

If we're gonna come to some kind of agreement, I've got to know what you're all about, you know...
Asserting the importance of understanding the devil's motives and character in order to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement.

'cause i don't know if you're the right type for the... For the place, you know
Expressing uncertainty about whether the devil possesses the necessary qualities to belong in the specified place, alluding to hell.

Look...lemme tell you what my problem really is, you see
Transitioning into a deeper discussion of the underlying issue or concern I hold.

Ok...
Indicating readiness and acceptance to hear my explanation or reveal my problem to the devil.

My problem is that i don't belong anywhere
Revealing the core of my problem, feeling a sense of not fitting in or belonging in any particular place or group.

Aha...
Acknowledging and comprehending my statement or explanation.

You see... i don't even belong where you are, you see
Elaborating on my lack of belongingness, highlighting that I do not feel aligned with the devil or his realm.

I hope not!
The devil responds with a hint of amusement, expressing hope that I do not belong in his domain.

I, i'm a simple person, you know
Describing myself as uncomplicated or straightforward, indicating simplicity in my desires or needs.

I have very small desires in life
Explaining that I have modest or minimal aspirations or wishes in life.

Titties 'n beer, you know
Reiterating that my primary interests are in the physical attributes of women and the consumption of beer.

No! what?
The devil expresses disbelief or confusion, seeking clarification or elaboration on my desires.

Titties 'n beer!
Repeating my focus or obsession with breasts and alcohol, emphasizing their importance to me.

No! no man, you're joking...
The devil reacts with disbelief, assuming that I must be joking about my simplistic desires.

Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer...
Continuing to assert my unwavering fixation on breasts and beer, repeatedly uttering the words to emphasize their significance.

What? no! no please... no! not that! oh no man, no!
The devil pleads in protest, expressing his objection and reluctance towards fulfilling my desires.

Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer...
Persisting in my insistence on my desired objects, relentlessly repeating the words and maintaining my focus on them.

(i'm in you! i'm in you!)
Mockingly reminding the devil of his presence within me, suggesting that he cannot escape or avoid the situation.

Oh no! no! no! wait...
The devil panics and pleads for me to pause or wait before proceeding with my demands.

Ah! look at this! what am i gonna do with this thing?
The devil reacts with despair or confusion, questioning how to handle or deal with the situation.

...wait, wait, please no!
The devil continues to plead and beg for me to reconsider or pause my actions.

Hey! look at this!
Drawing attention to something potentially significant or impactful.

"no! don't sign it! give me time to think! ...hold on a second, boy, 'cause...that's Magic ink!"
The devil desperately urges me not to sign the contract and requests time to consider my proposal while pointing out the special and influential nature of the ink used in the contract.

Then the devil barfed 'n out jumped my girl
To my surprise, the devil suddenly vomited, and consequently, my girlfriend reappeared by escaping from his stomach.

They heard the titties plop-ploppin' All around the world, she said:
As my girlfriend emerged from the devil's stomach, her breasts made a distinctive sound, capturing the attention of people everywhere. She then spoke:

"i got three beers 'n a fist fulla downs, An' i'm gonna get ripped, so fuck You clowns!"
Asserting her possession of three beers and a handful of drugs, emphasizing her intention to indulge and disregarding any concerns or judgments from others.

Then she gave us the finger! (it was rigid 'n stiff)
My girlfriend expressed her anger and contempt by gesturing with her middle finger, which was notably firm and unwavering.

That's when the devil, she farted An' she went right over the cliff!
In response to my girlfriend's defiance, the devil expelled gas through flatulence and fell off a cliff, potentially suggesting an inability to tolerate her actions.

The devil was mad! (i took off to my pad)
The devil was infuriated by the turn of events, causing me to swiftly depart and retreat to my residence.

I swear i do declare! How did she get back there?
Expressing surprise and puzzlement over my girlfriend's sudden reappearance after being consumed by the devil, questioning how she managed to return.

Alright!
Conveying a sense of satisfaction or contentment with the outcome or events that transpired.