Wiht or Without You
Gaia Lyrics

Dear diary
I am addressing my personal journal, recounting my thoughts and emotions.

I'm not crying anymore, which is great
I have overcome my sadness and now feel relieved and content about it.

You know, I've been trying to write something different
I have been attempting to create a new type of song or expression.

I am kinda sick of sad songs and all that shit
I am tired of producing melancholic songs and similar content.

I think I'm gonna try to write something a little bit more Angry
I am considering creating a song with a stronger, angrier tone.

My best friend said she saw you on the bus today
According to my close friend, she encountered you while traveling by bus earlier.

You were with that curly-haired friend of yours
During the sighting, you were accompanied by your friend who has curly hair.

It's been a while, I barely even noticed that it's May
I realized that a significant amount of time has passed without me even noticing the change in months.

I spent my time wondering and being outdoors
I occupied my time with introspection and spending time in outdoor environments.

'Cause sometimes my head's a little loud
Occasionally, my mind is filled with overwhelming thoughts and noise.

I left myself and got into the crowd
To escape my own thoughts, I immersed myself in the company of others.

I left myself between those pretty places
I sought solace and distraction in beautiful surroundings or environments.

When all I did was look for you in all the faces
Despite being in these aesthetically pleasing settings, my primary focus was still on searching for you among the people.

But every day's a little easier babe
Each passing day brings a slight improvement in my emotional state, my dear.

I know it is for you, for you
I am aware that this progress is also true for you, my dear.

Still, sometimes I can't help but wonder If I'm on your mind too
Despite the improvements, I occasionally find myself pondering whether you also think of me.

And I can walk again on my own
I have regained my independence and ability to move forward without relying on you.

There's nothing I can't do
I feel empowered and capable of achieving anything without you.

Because now the truth hurts less than how it used to do
Currently, the painful reality of our separation has become more bearable compared to the past.

Without you
I am now living my life without your presence.

I pretended I didn't mind when they asked me about you
When others inquired about you, I put on a facade of indifference and pretended that your absence did not bother me.

And I still have that letter that I never sent
I have retained a letter intended for you that I never actually delivered.

Does your mom know about me and what we used to do?
I wonder if your mother is aware of our past relationship and the things we engaged in.

I wonder if your sister asks about me now and then
I ponder whether your sister occasionally inquires about me.

I hate that I don't hate you
It frustrates me that despite the pain you cause me, I am unable to feel genuine hatred towards you.

Even though you break me like you do
Despite the emotional harm you inflict upon me, I still cannot summon hatred towards you.

Now I just can't remember
Currently, I find it difficult to recollect certain details.

The sound of your laugh at the park
Specifically, I struggle to recall the specific sound your laughter had when we were at the park.

And little pieces of us start to fade, wish I knew
Gradually, fragments of our memories and connection begin to diminish, and I wish I had control over this process.

That loving you would break my heart in two
I never anticipated that my love for you would ultimately lead to the shattering of my heart into two pieces.

I ignored the signs
I chose to overlook the warning signals or indications.

I ignored the lies
I disregarded the falsehoods or deceit.

I'd hide in my heart
I would conceal my true emotions within my own heart.

I ignored the way you said I love you
I intentionally paid no attention to the manner in which you expressed your love towards me.

Still couldn't stop you from leaving
Despite my efforts, I was ultimately unable to prevent you from departing or abandoning me.

And I can't wait for you babe
I no longer possess a sense of anticipation or desire for your return, my dear.

Time moved on, I stopped grieving
As time progressed, I eventually ceased mourning our separation.

For a person who never fought for me from the start
It is disheartening to reflect that you never exerted any effort to fight for our relationship right from the beginning.

For a person who never worried I'd break apart
Similarly, you never displayed concern or apprehension about the possibility of me falling apart emotionally.

How I'm feeling?
I am contemplating and reflecting upon my current emotional state.

Well I don't really know how to answer to that
Honestly, I am uncertain and hesitant about how to respond or explain my feelings accurately.

Uh I don't know, I'm kind of in this phase where
At the moment, I find myself in a period or stage where

I realized that I'm actually really glad to be alone
I have come to the realization and acceptance that I am genuinely content with being alone.

And not with him
Specifically, I am grateful for the absence of a romantic partner in my life.