Poor Unfortunate Souls
Howard Ashman / Alan Menken Lyrics

The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself.
You cannot have what you desire until you become a human.

Can you do that?
Are you able to help me become human?

My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for.
My purpose in life is to assist merfolk like you to become human, my innocent friend.

To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself. Poor souls with no one else to turn to.
My services are available for the unfortunate merfolk who are in need of help and have nowhere else to go.

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
I must confess that in the past, I have not always been kind.

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
People have aptly labeled me as a witch, and that is not a compliment.

But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways
But currently, I have changed for the better.

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch To this
I acknowledge my faults and have decided to change my ways to become a better person.

And I fortunately know a little magic It's a talent that I always have possessed
I am blessed with the ability to use magic.

And dear lady, please don't laugh I use it on behalf Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
Do not mock me, I use magic to help those who are sad, lonely, and hopeless.

Poor unfortunate souls In pain, in need This one longing to be thinner That one wants to get the girl And do I help them? Yes, indeed
There are countless poor souls who are experiencing deep anguish and require my assistance, and yes, I do aid them.

Those poor unfortunate souls So sad, so true They come flocking to my cauldron Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!" And I help them! Yes I do
These underprivileged souls are always knocking on my door requesting my magic spells to heal their pains and troubles, and yes, I do assist them.

Now it's happened once or twice Someone couldn't pay the price And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals Yes I've had the odd complaint But on the whole I've been a saint To those poor unfortunate souls
Admittedly, on a couple of occasions, people could not fulfill their end of the bargaining and had to pay dearly. But generally, I am fair and helpful to those who need it.

If I become human, I'll never be with my father or sisters again.
Should I become a human, I must forsake my family forever.

But you'll have your man, heh heh. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Heh heh. Oh, and there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment.
You get to be with the man you love, congratulations! Life is full of difficult choices such as your inescapable separation from your family. Furthermore, we have not talked about the cost of my services.

But I don't have- I'm not asking much, just a token really, a trifle! What I want from you is - your voice.
But I have nothing to- I am not asking for much, a tiny price is all I desire. What I require from you is only your voice.

But without my voice, how can I- You'll have your looks, your pretty face. And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha!
But without my voice, how will I- You will retain your beauty and all its glory. Remember, the necessity of body language is often underestimated.

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Men prefer women who do not talk much; those who are overly talkative are disliked.

Yet on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word And after all dear, what is idle babble for?
However, on land, women who talk are highly frowned upon. After all, what use is chitchat?

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation True gentlemen avoid it when they can
Men are not impressed by idle talk, and in reality, gentlemen avoid it.

But they dote and swoon and fawn On a lady who's withdrawn It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man
However, a woman who is quiet and reserved, and characteristically says little, wins the affection of men.

Come on you poor unfortunate soul Go ahead! Make your choice! I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day It won't cost much Just your voice! You poor unfortunate soul It's sad but true If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet You've got the pay the toll Take a gulp and take a breath And go ahead and sign the scroll Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys The boss is on a roll This poor unfortunate soul
Come on, you poor, unfortunate soul. Make your choice. I am an incredibly busy woman, and time is scarce. My services will not cost you much; I merely require your voice. It's unfortunate, but true. If you want to cross the bridge, then you must pay the toll. Take a deep breath and sign the document. Flotsam and Jetsam, now my dear is mine, boys. The boss is on a roll! This poor, unfortunate soul has been trapped by my methods.

Beluga sevruga Come winds of the Caspian Sea Larengix glaucitis Et max laryngitis La voce to me
Beluga sevruga Let the winds of the Caspian Sea carry my spell. Provide this woman with larengix glaucitis and max laryngitis so that she will be voiceless. Bring her voice to me!

Now, sing! Aah... Keep singing
Now, execute the spell! Aah... Continue singing.