First Trimester
Illogic Lyrics

I am sorry...I never shoulda acted all crazy like that
Expressing remorse for past behavior that may have caused harm or discomfort to the other party.

and I know...you have never cheated on me
Affirming trust towards the partner and dismissing any doubts or rumors of infidelity.

you're the only one I trust....and now we are gonna have a baby
Acknowledging the significance and exclusivity of trust in this relationship, and announcing the expectation of a child.

and we are gonna give him - or her - a real family, that we never had
Promising to provide a stable, loving family environment for the child, in contrast to the possibly troubled family backgrounds of both parents.

the love floods that drips from her eyes as they meet his
Describing the intense, emotional connection between the couple as they look into each other's eyes.

while inside she holds a gift, the virus of new life
Referring to the pregnancy as a precious, powerful gift of new life, but also acknowledging the potential difficulties and challenges involved.

their hearts overflow with oceans of emotions mixed
Highlighting the complex, overlapping range of emotions experienced by the couple at this pivotal moment in their lives.

holding her close as she drenches his chest with rivers of fear
Describing the physical closeness and comfort the partner provides amidst the woman's deep anxiety and fear.

a single tear sprints down his cheek, his knees become weak
Expressing the poignant vulnerability and emotional weight of this life-changing event for the man.

he thinks, "here I sit, a child embracing a child with child that's probably more scared of this than I am
Reflecting on the irony and sense of overwhelming responsibility for the man in this situation.

it's too late to question if I'm ready for the responsibility 'cause I knew the consequences of lust, but I took part willingly."
Acknowledging the fact that there are real, long-term consequences to sexual activity and parenthood, but also accepting personal responsibility for those decisions.

just then, her left hand graces his face
Describing a tender, intimate moment between the couple as she touches his face.

the love in her touch encourages tears to race
Capturing the immense, powerful emotions that are conveyed in this simple, physical gesture of affection.

she wipes the rain from his cloudy eyes
Continuing the imagery of tears as rain, and describing the woman's act of comforting and consoling her partner.

shaken and scared she takes his hand, smiles, and places it on her belly
Depicting the woman's determination to move forward and share the joy and responsibility of their pregnancy with her partner, despite her own fears and concerns.

his hand trembles, heart pounds, mouth returns to smile
Revealing the mix of physical and emotional reactions the man experiences as he comes to terms with the reality of the pregnancy.

as inside, she frowns, knowing she can't handle this right now
Contrasting the outward display of optimism and love with the woman's internal struggle and sense of anxiety.

"I'm stuck in this spot between love and my culture
Acknowledging the tension and conflict between personal feelings of love and attachment, and the societal and cultural expectations or norms that may conflict with those feelings.

my cousin had a baby out of wedlock and they disowned her
Providing a specific, concrete example of the harsh, judgmental treatment that can result from having a baby outside of socially acceptable or traditional circumstances.

should I risk losing one family to start my own?
Highlighting the difficult, painful decision the woman is facing, between risking rejection from her family for the sake of her relationship and future family, or adhering to tradition and societal expectations.

or if I don't have it, will he hate me, and make me stand alone
Expressing the fear and anxiety that the woman may face rejection or abandonment by her partner if she decides not to go through with the pregnancy.

leaving me to hold this bag of bricks and carry it for a lifetime
Metaphorically describing the weight and burden of an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy, and its potential lifelong consequences for the mother.

while he can relieve the pain by just going home and writing a rhyme?
Contrasting the relative ease and freedom of the man, who has the ability to pursue his passions and interests without being tied down by pregnancy and parenthood.

at that point he pulls her close, whispers "I love you" to her lobes
Portraying the man's deep love and commitment to the woman, and his willingness to support her, regardless of her decision.

unbeknownst to the dichotomy in the beauty that he beholds
Highlighting the paradoxical nature of their situation, where both beauty and hardship can exist simultaneously.

"I love you...and now, we are gonna have a baby"
Reaffirming the strength of their love and commitment to each other, and announcing again the expectation of a child.

I love her now, and even after death she's my breath the only other close to my heart? my mother
Describing the depth and importance of the man's love for the woman, and how it rivals or surpasses the love he has for his own mother.

I'm scared, but prepared to give my child what I was never given, a life with its father and its mother, its wife
Articulating the man's motivation and desire to provide a better life and a stable family for his child, perhaps in response to his own upbringing.

I know realize my eyes see the horizon I'm no longer looking for a kaleidoscope to climb in accepting my scenery, my fate parallel to grace
Expressing a sense of enlightenment and acceptance of his current situation and future prospects, and relinquishing unrealistic or fanciful aspirations.

I know I'm in love every time my eyes touch her face
Declaring the man's intense, ongoing love and attraction to the woman, as a constant presence in his life.

I love him, but I'm not ready to spring a life into this world I'm only 17, myself still a little girl
Revealing the woman's fears and reluctance to proceed with the pregnancy, due to her young age and perceived lack of maturity or readiness for parenthood.

I need my family too much to lose them for him but I need him by my side also, I'll have his baby someday
Describing the complex, difficult decision the woman must make regarding her family and the father of her child, balancing competing feelings of attachment and responsibility.

we still have things to experience and live out our lives I can't do it, I've decided. I'm only two months now
Recognizing the importance of individual growth and exploration, and ultimately deciding not to pursue the pregnancy at this time.

but how can I tell the love of my life that I've murdered his child?
Revealing the immense guilt and shame the woman feels over her decision, and the difficult, painful conversation she must have with her partner.

alone she sits, with oceans of regret soaking optics heart ripped to shreds with visions of a dead sea
Describing the woman's intense feelings of sadness, grief, and despair over the loss of the pregnancy, and the sense of emptiness she feels in its wake.

no words can emerge from voice box to explain the understood hate that seemed to fuel his pain
Depicting the sense of silent, unspoken tension and anger between the couple, as the man struggles to comprehend and process the woman's decision.

his vital organ pounds till his chest starts to vibrate emotions unusual trapped in delusional mind state
Portraying the man's intense, visceral reaction to the news, as his body physically responds to the emotional shock.

he knows not what to feel, or what to say how to react to the fact of, should he leave or should he stay?
Highlighting the man's confusion, uncertainty, and indecision, as he faces the potential loss of fatherhood and the future of his relationship.

a cloud of sorrow hovers above the two broken spirits without a clue gloom so thick that love can't shine through
Describing the profound sense of sadness and loss that permeates the couple's emotional state, and the sense of hopelessness that overshadows their love.

he's thinkin, "here I stand, face to face with my angel as the blood of our child soaks her hands the hate I hold is a product of the love she evokes so in an obscure way, I understand"
Describing the man's complex, contradictory emotions, as he struggles to reconcile his love for the woman with the pain of losing the pregnancy, and ultimately reaches a tentative understanding.

with arms outstretched, she lies his head upon her chest and she cries and continues to apologize "you know that I love you (I love you) and you won't be to blame if after this action, you never utter my name
Portraying a sense of emotional release, as the woman holds her partner and apologizes for the pain she has caused him, while also acknowledging his innocence in the decision.

but I need time to mature before I give birth we need time to explore and find what we're worth one day I'll have your seed even if the sun rays burn out and the starlight bleeds"
Expressing the woman's determination to grow and change as a person before becoming a mother, and her continued love and loyalty to her partner, even in the face of adversity.

their eyes meet, and lips touch I love yous are exchanged and eyes lock till tear ducts flood with rivers of pain
Capturing a poignant moment of reconciliation and acceptance between the couple, as they share their love and sorrow for each other and their lost pregnancy.

love won't let them leave, there was a hold on his heart as much as my death hurt, it couldn't tear them apart
Emphasizing the enduring power and resilience of love, even in the face of tragedy and loss, and highlighting the deep bond between the couple.

so now I rest on clouds with other aborted missions I forgive you and understand the purpose of your decision I hope this story of my life hits the depth of many souls and when you want to tell me you love me, you don't have to cause I know
Closing the song with a sense of acceptance, forgiveness, and hope, as the artist reflects on their own fate and the value of sharing their story with others.

"I'm sorry, I should've never acted all crazy like that I love you"
Repeating the earlier apology and reaffirming the artist's deep love for their partner.