Silence
Jarren Benton Lyrics

Time is ticking, yeah, its ticking away
The passage of time is unstoppable.

I waited all my life to say
I've had a lot to say, but I've been waiting for the right moment.

My misery hates company
I am unhappy, and I don't want others to feel the same way.

I'm at a loss for words
I don't know what to say or how to express myself.

That's a first for me
I usually have something to say or express my feelings with ease.

Silence is golden
Sometimes it's better not to talk and remain silent.

Go through the motions
Going through the motions means to act without feeling or inspiration.

The same color that my throne is
The color of my throne represents my status and power.

Damn can't believe that my homeboy dead
I am incredibly saddened by the death of my friend.

I still feel shocked like I'm shot in the head
My friend's death is still very shocking and painful for me.

I woke up and cried till my eyes turned red
I cried profusely after learning about my friend's death.

I wish it was a nightmare that I just had
I hope that my friend's death is just a bad dream and not real life.

The coroner just put my nigga in a bodybag
My friend's body was put into a body bag by the coroner.

And his momma turned away cause she cannot witness that
My friend's mother couldn't bear to see her son in a body bag.

And I ain't know what to say
I didn't know how to respond to such a tragic event.

When I was standing with your dad
I was standing beside my friend's father, but was at a loss for words.

Only thing that I could think was "goddamn this is sad"
I could only think about how devastating and sad the situation was.

Man, we was just laughing on the weekend
Just a few days ago, my friend and I were hanging out and having fun.

That was your goodbye, guess it just sinked in
I didn't realize at the time, but our last hangout was my friend saying goodbye.

No words that I can jot with the ink pen
I can't find the right words or expressions to describe my emotions.

To describe the way I feel, I guess I'm still grieving
I am still processing the grief and sadness of losing my friend.

I wish that I could bring my nigga back
I wish I could bring my friend back to life.

He ain't even know how much he meant to me
My friend didn't know how much I valued and cared about him.

And that was wack
That lack of communication and expression really sucks.

That I couldn't even express it
I was unable to convey my love and appreciation for my friend before he died.

Till he laying on his back
I couldn't express my feelings until my friend was lying in a casket.

At his fucking funeral, when I ain't know how to react
I was unsure of how to process my emotions at my friend's funeral.

Yeah, we supposed to get rich together
My friend and I had plans to become successful together.

God had another plan for you that was better
My friend's death was part of a divine plan that I cannot comprehend fully.

I said a prayer to your momma and your whole family
I offered my condolences and prayed for my friend's family.

Rest in peace dawg, you my homeboy forever
I will always remember and cherish my friendship with my now deceased friend.

Yeah, I know you living in the sky
I believe that my friend is living in heaven now.

I wish I had a better way to tell my nigga bye
I wish I had a better way to say goodbye to my friend.

Make sure you cherish every moment that you spend
Appreciate every moment you have with loved ones as you never know when they will be gone.

With your people, cause you never know
Spend time with your loved ones and cherish your time with them.

Tomorrow they could die
Life is unpredictable, and anyone can die at any moment.

Uh, you believed in me homie
My friend had faith in my abilities and supported me.

Yeah, and for that I thank you
I am grateful to my friend for believing in me.

I know you in a better place
I believe that my friend is in a better place now.

Prolly up in heaven cracking jokes with them angels
I imagine my friend is having a good time in heaven with the angels.

Never be forgotten as I'm writing over violins
My friend will never be forgotten, and I am writing this song to honor his memory.

I feel alone like I'm on my own island
I feel isolated and lonely in my grief.

I think about my nigga every day
I think about my friend every day and miss him dearly.

As I drown in the silence
I feel overwhelmed and lost in my thoughts and emotions, with no one to talk to.

Damn, there we go, not speaking again?
My relationship with my girlfriend is strained, and we are not speaking.

Out the front door a nigga leaving again
I am leaving the house in frustration and anger.

I rode around the city pissed off
I am driving around the city, angry and frustrated.

About some bullshit you said
I am upset about something my girlfriend said.

Make me feel like I ain't breathing again
My girlfriend's words make me feel suffocated and helpless.

I get back, and we ain't talked to each other for like 2 days
My girlfriend and I have not talked or communicated in two days.

Damn girl, who pissed in your Kool Aid?
I am questioning why my girlfriend is being so hostile towards me.

I apologise a trillion times, make it a trillion-one
I have apologized many times, and I am apologizing again.

But this time I'm too late
I realize that my apologies may not be enough to mend our relationship.

Yeah, I guess you fed up with my shit
My girlfriend is tired of my behavior and actions.

To get through that cold heart I need an ice pick
It will be difficult to change my girlfriend's mind and win back her affection.

The look on your iris, so lifeless
My girlfriend's eyes look dull and apathetic towards me.

Remember them good times we had
I reminisce about the good times my girlfriend and I shared.

That was priceless?
Those happy memories were invaluable to me.

Damn, did I fuck you up that bad?
I am questioning if my actions have caused permanent damage to our relationship.

You need space now, I guess I expect that
I realize that my girlfriend needs time and space to process her emotions and thoughts.

I'm trying to break through them walls that you put up
I am trying to break through the emotional barriers that my girlfriend has put up.

But I don't even know where your head at
I am unsure of what my girlfriend is thinking or feeling.

Yeah, I guess I better let her fly away
I realize that I may need to let go of my girlfriend and allow her to move on.

Its hard to cope with the pain, I wanna die today
The pain of losing my girlfriend is unbearable, and I wish to die.

I'll find a fucking hideaway to hibernate
I want to find a secluded place to be alone and process my emotions.

I sit and let this liquor wash the hurt
I am trying to dull my pain by drinking alcohol.

Like a tidal wave
I am feeling overwhelmed by my emotions, which are hitting me like a tidal wave.

And oh yeah, by the way
Changing topics, I have something else to say.

If I could take all the hurt back I'd find a way
I regret my actions and wish I could undo the pain I have caused.

I guess I'll pop another pill so I can sleep
I am turning to substance abuse to cope with my emotions and sleep.

And let my brains cook
I am trying to numb my mind and emotions.

Like I put my head inside a microwave
The effect of substance abuse is like putting one's head in a microwave - damaging and harmful.

Yeah, now I feel like a loser
I feel worthless and like I have failed.

I knew all the wrong I was doing
I am aware of the mistakes and damage I have caused.

I would lose her
I risked and ultimately lost my relationship with my girlfriend.

Now I see the light, amen, hallelujah
I have learned from my mistakes and see the truth now.

But I'm stuck in my shit
I am still dealing with the negative consequences of my actions and behavior.

Like I sit in cow manure
My life feels shitty, like I am sitting in cow manure.

World went crashing when I lost my co-pilot
I lost my girlfriend, who was like my partner and co-pilot in life.

Ringing in my head, somebody turn off the sirens
I am tormented by the thought of my girlfriend leaving and the constant noise in my head.

She ain't even talk to a nigga
My girlfriend is not communicating with me.

And it hurts so bad
The lack of communication and loss of my girlfriend is extremely painful.

Now all I do is drown in your silence
I am consumed by my grief and sadness and feel lost in my grief.