On another continent, some 9000 miles from the United States, is a corner of the earth where there is no Internet, no electricity, no telephone. From wherever you stand, you see red dirt and sky, well-adapted wildlife, rock piles next to dirt roads that seem to go on and on forever. Desolate but not empty, the Australian outback offers people the chance to revel in the open space and solitary oneness this striking terrain provides. Had you traveled that same path years ago, you may have passed Jennifer Knapp along the way, a Grammy nominated, Dove Award winning artist, who was happy to let go of all the success she had to live a very different kind of life traveling to the most remote corners of Australia, looking to reclaim a part of herself she felt she lost in all the excitement of her accomplishments.
And then one day she decided to come back.
Before you start with any Eddie and the Cruisers comparisons, please note that Jennifer didn’t fake her own demise. She just decided to take a break, though at the time, she wasn’t sure she’d ever return. Considering Jennifer has over sold over 1 million records, spent years successfully playing to sold out audiences and had a considerable fan base, the choice wasn’t an easy one but definitely necessary. “I didn’t play, I didn’t write, my guitars collected dust for 5 years. I completely had to divorce myself from the whole thing because I never really took ownership of what music meant for me as an individual. I needed to figure that out, so I really left the music business with the idea that I may not ever do it again.”
At first, Jennifer set out to go to all the cities she had toured in, but never had a chance to visit. Growing up in a tiny town in Kansas, the trips across the US and Europe were exciting. This led to a jaunt to Australia, where she decided to stay. Walking away from her career wasn’t easy, as Jennifer was riding high on the wave of success. Having cultivated an audience within the Christian music spectrum, Jennifer’s first 3 albums were all critical and commercial successes. She won her first Dove Award in 1999 for Best New Artist, scored 2 Grammy nods and another Dove nomination in 2003. She opened for Jars of Clay, spent some time on the Lilith tour and continued to grow her audience, who clamored for more of her folk-rock message of spirituality and love. People magazine touted Jennifer as an “uncommonly literate songwriter,” but just as she was at the top of her game she…let go.
After seven years spent traveling, mastering the Playstation and spending time working at an antique store (and actually loving that she dreaded going to work in the morning like a “normal” person), Jennifer began to re-visit what made her happiest. “I had to go through a mourning process of walking away and convincing myself that it didn’t matter if I played music anymore. But it was hard, and the whole time I was gone, it was like I had a shadow following me. I began to return to it in my own private time, getting out my guitar, starting to play and falling in love with music again without any expectations. I just wanted to play because it meant something to me.”
Struggling with being a normal person with an abnormal occupation, Jennifer finally made peace with what she did best. “I was really enjoying the music I was playing at home. Half the record was written in Australia and as I played it, friends were responding to it. It fanned the flame. There are sad parts of working in the industry that made me feel disconnected, but I realized I was just afraid and was hiding. It seemed a shame that I could share my songs with people and I wasn’t doing it. I hadn’t worked in 7 years and there were fans on the Internet holding vigils for me to play again. It took me a long time to understand that connection and now it’s a passion of mine. In a true sense it’s a gift – you give it because you don’t want it back, and you want it to bless the person receiving it. What an amazing opportunity for me to have.”
Returning to Nashville, Jennifer holed up in the studio to begin recording the aptly named Letting Go, her fourth studio album. With Producer Paul Moak, best known as his work as a studio musician for artists such as Mat Kearney, Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith, at the helm, Jennifer had no intention of resting on past laurels. With Paul, they put together a whole new band of hungry young musicians and got to work. With the exception of longtime bass player Tony Lucido, the guys in the studio were musicians Jennifer had never even met before, who brought an energy she was craving. “All risk and high reward” is how she explains her new band with which she had an instant camaraderie.
While Jennifer made her initial mark in the Christian market, her time away made her realize that while she would never turn her back on that belief, she didn’t want to exclude any one else, either. As with past releases, she had gotten used to the focus on her song writing, that it was viewed as somewhat unusual for the Christian music industry. However Jennifer was always celebrated for her honesty and human approach to the divine, and she looks at Letting Go as a continuation of pushing those limits. “It was a struggle, because I was used to writing lyrics one way. I had to break that yolk to write a record that was honest about how I feel about life. It is the voice of people that I am concerned in preserving here, our right to express our deepest souls without the fear of condemnation. It’s my hope that the music feels legitimate and meaningful for whoever hears it. I wanted this record to reflect that.”
The result is the astonishing straightforwardness of Letting Go, an album of stripped back folk and country tinged rock that is as intimate as it is expansive. The musical warmth of Letting Go spreads throughout the record. From the wry opening words (“careful what you say, careful who might hear…”) of “Dive In” to the lyrical play of “Want For Nothing” and the evocative rocker “Inside,” Letting Go observes the world around it with captivating perception.
To say that Jennifer Knapp has come full circle would be a fair assessment. Beside the record release, Knapp has been asked to play on the re-vamped Lilith Fair tour, the first one in 10 years. Since Jennifer played on the last one in ’99, being asked to play the re-launch is very special, a reminder of why Jennifer came back to her musical roots. “There is a strong sense of community that has been in the back of my mind throughout this whole process. I want my core audience to find something familiar, but refreshed, on Letting Go. At the same time, I am so happy to throw off any cloak that has been put upon me that would make any music lover hesitate to listen to my music. I am so excited to bring all different types of people to my party. I’ve written this for them.”
Sometimes, you have to let go of everything to be able to come back.
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Biography taken from: http://www.jenniferknapp.com/about
http://www.jenniferknapp.com
Better Off
Jennifer Knapp Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Wish I took the path you showed me before
'cause I'd be better off, I'd be a better man
If I was what you want, and not what I am
Careful what you wish, I am a dream come true now
I'm someone else who only wanted you
'cause I'd be better off, I'd be a better man
If I was what you want, and not what I am
I don't fear the break, I can't feel the bend
If I was what you want then I know, I know I can
Please believe in me, don't be leaving me
I won't be thrown away
Please believe in me, don't be leaving me
I try to make it plain that I can change
I can change
Wish I'd know the way, wish I could find the door
That can take us back to where we were before
Where we were better off, I was a better man
I was what you wanted and not what I am
I don't fear the break, I can't feel the bend
If it's what you want, then I know I can
Cause I'd be better off, I'd be a better man
If it's what you want, then I know I can
The song "Better Off" by Jennifer Knapp is a heartfelt confession by the singer who regrets not following the advice and direction of a person who could have helped them be a better person. The first stanza sets the tone with the regretful lines "Wish I'd known the way, wish I'd found the door. Wish I took the path you showed me before." The singer acknowledges that they could have been a better person if they had followed the path that was shown to them earlier. The chorus repeats the phrase "If I was what you want, and not what I am" which emphasizes the singer's self-realization that they are not the best version of themselves.
In the second stanza, the singer pleads with the person they should have listened to in the first place. They admit that they are not perfect and that they've made mistakes, but they want the person to believe in them and give them a chance to change. The final lines of the song echo the first stanza, but this time the singer is asking for guidance to get back to where they were before, when they were a better person. The song ends on a hopeful note that if the singer follows the guidance of the person they should have listened to earlier, they can be a better person.
Overall, the song "Better Off" is about the importance of listening to the advice of those who care about us, and taking accountability for our actions to become the best version of ourselves.
Line by Line Meaning
Wish I'd known the way, wish I'd found the door
I regret not knowing the way to fix our problems and finding a solution earlier.
Wish I took the path you showed me before
I wish I had followed your guidance and taken the path you suggested to me earlier.
'cause I'd be better off, I'd be a better man
I know that if I had followed your advice, I would have been in a better place now, and I would have become a better person.
If I was what you want, and not what I am
I realize that I was trying to be someone I am not instead of being the person you needed me to be.
Careful what you wish, I am a dream come true now
Be careful what you wish for because I have become everything you hoped for me to be, but it is different than what I wanted for myself.
I'm someone else who only wanted you
I became someone else to try and make you happy, but ultimately I only wanted to be with you.
I don't fear the break, I can't feel the bend
I am not afraid of breaking or changing because I believe that it will help me become the person you want me to be.
Please believe in me, don't be leaving me
I want you to have faith in me, and please don't give up on me and leave me alone.
I won't be thrown away
I won't allow myself to be discarded, and I will do everything in my power to prove myself to you.
I try to make it plain that I can change
I want to make it clear that I am willing to change, and I am doing everything in my power to prove that to you.
Wish I'd know the way, wish I could find the door
I still regret not knowing the solution to our problems and finding a way to fix things earlier.
That can take us back to where we were before
I wish we could go back to the time when we were happy and together.
Where we were better off, I was a better man
I know that we were better off before, and I was a better person when I was with you.
If it's what you want, then I know I can
I am willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy, and I believe that I can make the necessary changes to become the person you want me to be.
Cause I'd be better off, I'd be a better man
I know that if I can make these changes and become the person you want me to be, it will not only make you happy, but it will also make me a better person.
Lyrics © CONCORD MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC, Capitol CMG Publishing, Peermusic Publishing
Written by: JENNIFER KNAPP, PAUL MOAK
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind