Delving into country, folk and soul, With Blasphemy, So Heartfelt is a collaborative project on which Mayfield's sultry voice adds flair to edgy lyrics and melodies. With the help of her brother, bassist David Mayfield, Jessica Lea Mayfield's debut includes cameo appearances by Dr. Dog's Scott McMicken and Frank McElroy on backing vocals.
Website: www.jessicaleamayfield.com
I'll Be the One You Want Someday
Jessica Lea Mayfield Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Relapsing towards emptiness
My only friend is feeding off me
The weakness is starting to consume my body
My brain is speeding faster than my mouth can move
I'll sit still and silently observe the room
All I can think about are things I should not do
I have a dream and the dream is perfection
I have a dream that lives so far away
I'd hold your hand but you do not want me
I'll be the one that you want, someday
My brain is speeding faster than my mouth can move
I'll sit still and silently observe the room
All I can think about are things I should not do
In Jessica Lea Mayfield's song I'll Be the One You Want Someday, she describes the feelings of anxiety and self-doubt that often accompany the pursuit of one's dreams. The opening lines evoke a sense of despair as the singer spirals into her "own dark ages" and feels herself "relapsing towards emptiness." She is struggling to find a sense of purpose and feels as though her "only friend is feeding off" her, which could be interpreted as either a reference to drug addiction or to the draining nature of her own self-destructive thoughts.
The second stanza highlights her sense of internal chaos, as her "brain is speeding faster than [her] mouth can move" and she is left feeling overwhelmed and unable to articulate her thoughts. Despite this, she remains acutely aware of her surroundings and is fixated on the things she "should not do." This could indicate that she is fighting against her own impulses and trying to resist destructive behaviors.
The final stanza reveals that the singer has a specific dream in mind, one that is characterized by perfection and seems far out of reach. She desires the affection of someone who does not want her, which is a clear source of pain and frustration. However, she also expresses a sense of determination to keep striving towards her goal, promising that she "will be the one that you want, someday." This suggests that while she may feel lost and uncertain in the present, she still holds onto hope for the future.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm entering my own dark ages
I feel like I'm regressing back to a time when everything was bleak and hopeless.
Relapsing towards emptiness
I'm struggling with a sense of emptiness that I thought I had overcome, and I feel helpless to stop it from consuming me again.
My only friend is feeding off me
The only thing that seems to offer relief or comfort is ultimately harming me in some way, like a toxic friendship.
The weakness is starting to consume my body
The negative emotions and experiences I'm going through are taking a toll on every aspect of my being, physically and mentally.
My brain is speeding faster than my mouth can move
I'm overwhelmed by racing thoughts and emotions, to the point where I can't even articulate what I'm feeling when I try to speak.
I'll sit still and silently observe the room
Instead of engaging with others or trying to communicate, I retreat into a passive role of watching and analyzing.
All I can think about are things I should not do
The negative thoughts and impulses that are flooding my mind are so overwhelming that it feels like their power is impossible to resist.
I have a dream and the dream is perfection
I have an idealized version of myself or my life that I'm striving for, but it's not a realistic or attainable goal.
I have a dream that lives so far away
This vision of perfection is so distant and unattainable that it feels like a fantasy or daydream, rather than something I can realistically work towards.
I'd hold your hand but you do not want me
I desire closeness and intimacy with someone, but the person I want to share that with doesn't reciprocate or isn't interested in me in that way.
I'll be the one that you want, someday
Despite the current distance or lack of interest between us, I believe that one day the person I desire will come to want and appreciate me the way I want and appreciate them.
Contributed by Gianna P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.