Jill Tracy states that some of her biggest childhood influences were film score composers such as Bernard Herrmann, and classic suspense tales, including Alfred Hitchcock and Fritz Lang films, Ray Bradbury stories, and Rod Serling’s The Twilight Zone.
She is listed in San Francisco Magazine’s Top 100 Creative Forces in the Bay Area.
1999's Diabolical Streak is the first studio album featuring her back up ensemble The Malcontent Orchestra. “Evil Night Together” from Diabolical Streak was awarded the SIBL international Grand Prize for songwriting. The album was listed among the "Top 10 Neo-Cabaret albums of all time" in Shift magazine. “The Fine Art of Poisoning,” from Diabolical Streak became an animated short film in 2003, a collaboration with Bay Area animator Bill Domonkos. The film has won over 30 film festival awards and continues to screen internationally.
Jill Tracy and The Malcontent Orchestra’s original score to F.W. Murnau’s 1922 silent vampire classic Nosferatu debuted live at San Francisco’s Foreign Cinema in 1999 and toured Northern California theatres during Halloween season for five consecutive years. This led to the 2002 CD release Into the Land of Phantoms.
Her latest (and fourth) album, The Bittersweet Constrain (2008), explores a heavier, cinematic sonic edge with the addition of instruments such as the sarod, harmonium, and seldom-seen Chapman Stick. The recording also features percussionist Randy Odell, horn player Ralph Carney (Tom Waits/B52's), cellist Erica Mulkey (Rasputina/Unwoman), and violinist Tony Cross (Tarentel).
Produced by Alex Nahas (John Vanderslice/Zoe Keating/LaughingStock), The Bittersweet Constrain has been described by the San Francisco Chronicle as "devastatingly beautiful."
Domonkos served as art director/graphic designer for The Bittersweet Constrain. The CD packaging features Jill Tracy portraiture by Bay Area surrealist photographer Michael Garlington, known for his dreamy macabre imagery shot on vintage film stock.
Haunted By the Thought of You
Jill Tracy Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Before I climb the stairs
I see you lurking down below
Underneath the streetlight's glare
Your footsteps approaching
A shadow cloaks the room
I revel in this nightmare
But I keep waking up too soon...
'Cause over and over again
I keep imagining
And over and over again
I fear it's true
Over and over again
Am I still haunted
Haunted by the thought of you
Your dark eyes peering
Through the wallpaper's design
You live in all the constellations
Or have I lost my mind
In the bottom of a bottle
Reflected in a spoon
I feel you right behind me
But did I just turn around to soon...
Do you believe in Destiny?
Or are you merely testing me?
The lyrics of Jill Tracy's "Haunted By the Thought of You" paint a vivid picture of a person haunted by thoughts of someone who may or may not be real. The singer of the song takes careful measures, locking a door and checking it twice, before ascending the stairs to their room. They see a figure lurking below, almost as if waiting for them, and they feel as if they're stepping into a nightmare. The imagery of the shadow cloaking the room is unsettling, but despite the fear, the singer keeps waking up too soon. The repetition of "over and over again" underscores the feeling of being trapped in this cycle of fear and uncertainty.
As the song progresses, we learn that the source of the singer's fears is a person with dark eyes, who seems to exist both in reality and in the realms of imagination. The idea of this person living in all the constellations suggests a sense of omnipresence, like they're always watching. The singer wonders if they've lost their mind and sees the figure reflected in a spoon. As the song winds down, the singer questions whether they're being tested by destiny, or whether this is all in their head.
Overall, "Haunted By the Thought of You" is a haunting and evocative song that captures the feeling of being trapped in a cycle of fear and uncertainty. The imagery is vivid and unsettling, and the repetition of certain phrases adds to the feeling of being trapped.
Line by Line Meaning
I lock the door and I check it twice
I am obsessive and paranoid about keeping you out of my life
Before I climb the stairs
I make sure that I am safe in my own space
I see you lurking down below
I know that you are out there waiting for me
Underneath the streetlight's glare
I am constantly reminded of your presence in my life
Your footsteps approaching
I can hear you coming for me in the dark
A shadow cloaks the room
I feel like you are always watching me in secret
I revel in this nightmare
I cannot help but be drawn to the danger of our connection
But I keep waking up too soon...
I am not able to fully enjoy the intensity of our encounters
'Cause over and over again
My thoughts are consumed by you
I keep imagining
I cannot stop picturing you in my mind
And over and over again
I relive our interactions again and again
I fear it's true
I worry that these thoughts will never go away
Over and over again
I cannot escape the hold you have on me
Am I still haunted
I am still tormented by thoughts of you
Your dark eyes peering
Your gaze feels like it is always watching me
Through the wallpaper's design
Your presence seems to permeate every aspect of my life
You live in all the constellations
Your memory is everywhere, even in the stars
Or have I lost my mind
I wonder if my obsession with you has caused me to lose touch with reality
In the bottom of a bottle
I often turn to alcohol to numb the pain of missing you
Reflected in a spoon
I catch glimpses of myself and see how much you have changed me
I feel you right behind me
I always feel like you are close, even when you are not there
But did I just turn around to soon...
I cannot tell if your presence is real or if I am imagining it
Do you believe in Destiny?
Do you feel the same connection to me that I feel to you?
Or are you merely testing me?
Or are you playing a cruel game with my emotions?
Contributed by Arianna N. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@itsrollintime
her music's atmosphere is so unique
@PNEUMONIAx
+Açelya Dalgıç I agree
@Euroca75005
An incredible artist who has found her genre and her "voice."
@StormNight1993
Literally just discovered this lady, love her style and voice, so dark and smooth sounding, I like it!
@Poison-Ivy666
Her voice is perfect and then this atmosphere of music ... My soul is so happy and content just now :)
@heydave56
Wow! Was amazed by this song years ago and it still mesmerizes me.
@thayishere
You are beautifully perfect, your music is wonderful, and I'm simply haunted by this masterpiece... what else can I say? I love your music, it's darkly appealing.
@HiyruuAzuretiem
I love her music!
@sfguitarist1
Beautiful song! Jill Tracy is one of the most underrated artists of our time. I'm proud that she is also a San Francisco resident.
@crowgrl13
She is so beautiful and so haunting. And wonderful live! Got to see her at the SF Edwardian Ball..."Room 19" made me cry.