Jill Tracy states that some of her biggest childhood influences were film score composers such as Bernard Herrmann, and classic suspense tales, including Alfred Hitchcock and Fritz Lang films, Ray Bradbury stories, and Rod Serling’s The Twilight Zone.
She is listed in San Francisco Magazine’s Top 100 Creative Forces in the Bay Area.
1999's Diabolical Streak is the first studio album featuring her back up ensemble The Malcontent Orchestra. “Evil Night Together” from Diabolical Streak was awarded the SIBL international Grand Prize for songwriting. The album was listed among the "Top 10 Neo-Cabaret albums of all time" in Shift magazine. “The Fine Art of Poisoning,” from Diabolical Streak became an animated short film in 2003, a collaboration with Bay Area animator Bill Domonkos. The film has won over 30 film festival awards and continues to screen internationally.
Jill Tracy and The Malcontent Orchestra’s original score to F.W. Murnau’s 1922 silent vampire classic Nosferatu debuted live at San Francisco’s Foreign Cinema in 1999 and toured Northern California theatres during Halloween season for five consecutive years. This led to the 2002 CD release Into the Land of Phantoms.
Her latest (and fourth) album, The Bittersweet Constrain (2008), explores a heavier, cinematic sonic edge with the addition of instruments such as the sarod, harmonium, and seldom-seen Chapman Stick. The recording also features percussionist Randy Odell, horn player Ralph Carney (Tom Waits/B52's), cellist Erica Mulkey (Rasputina/Unwoman), and violinist Tony Cross (Tarentel).
Produced by Alex Nahas (John Vanderslice/Zoe Keating/LaughingStock), The Bittersweet Constrain has been described by the San Francisco Chronicle as "devastatingly beautiful."
Domonkos served as art director/graphic designer for The Bittersweet Constrain. The CD packaging features Jill Tracy portraiture by Bay Area surrealist photographer Michael Garlington, known for his dreamy macabre imagery shot on vintage film stock.
In Between Shades
Jill Tracy Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I know everything you need
Don’t have to scratch the skin
To watch the colors bleed
It gets mangled in translation
Indigo aquamarine
And I’m scraping up the ashes
Bending over backwards
Just to stay in the game
Mr. Blue
Let’s pretend it’s all okay now
Let’s pretend it still feels good
Let’s pretend we got this world on a string
Like they promised we would
Mr. Blue
Hey there Mr. Blue
I know everything you are
No need to excavate again
We’ve already dug too far
Cause I’ve been kicked around for so long lately
I wear these wounds upon my sleeve
And I’m scraping up the ashes
Just to resurrect the flame
Bending over backwards
But it all feels the same
Mr. Blue
Let’s pretend it’s all okay now
Let’s pretend it still feels good
Let’s pretend we got this world on a string
Like they promised we would
Mr. Blue
Let’s pretend it all feels fine today
Let’s pretend that I’m not still
Caught in the grey
Making my way
In between shades
I’m just in between shades
Hey there Mr. Blue
I know everything you feel
It’s when we close our eyes
That we can see for real
Mr. Blue
Let’s pretend it’s all okay now
Let’s pretend it still feels good
Let’s pretend we got this world on a string
Like they said that we would
Mr. Blue
Let’s pretend it all feels fine today
Let’s pretend that I’m not still
Caught in the grey
Cause it’s just another day like today
In between shades
The lyrics of Jill Tracy's "In Between Shades" reflects the struggles of feeling caught in limbo, in between the highs and lows of life. The song is addressed to Mr. Blue, perhaps a personification of sadness or melancholy. The singer admits that she understands everything Mr. Blue is feeling and doesn't need him to explain it to her. It seems like Mr. Blue has been causing some harm ("don't have to scratch the skin to watch the colors bleed"), and the singer is feeling worn down ("been kicked around for so long lately").
The chorus is interesting because it presents a desire to escape the current reality and return to a happier time. Let's pretend everything is okay and the world is on a string as it was promised it would be. This can be read as a critique of society's expectations that everything should turn out alright. The second half of the chorus offers a more personal escape, urging Mr. Blue to pretend that the singer is not still "caught in the grey." The song ends with the singer acknowledging that it's "just another day like today," still in between shades.
Overall, "In Between Shades" offers a sober reflection on the pains and struggles of life, the desire to escape and the difficulty in doing so.
Line by Line Meaning
Hey there Mr. Blue
Addressing someone who is feeling blue
I know everything you need
I understand what you're going through
Don’t have to scratch the skin
No need to inflict pain upon yourself
To watch the colors bleed
To see the emotions spill out
It gets mangled in translation
Communication breakdown, things often lost in translation
Indigo aquamarine
Confusion, blending of emotions
And I’m scraping up the ashes
Trying to recover from a setback
Just to hold on to the flame
Trying to keep hope alive
Bending over backwards
Going to great lengths to maintain a situation
Just to stay in the game
Trying to keep up with the competition
Let’s pretend it’s all okay now
Putting up a facade, pretending everything is fine
Let’s pretend it still feels good
Faking happiness and contentment
Let’s pretend we got this world on a string
Feeling in control of things
Like they promised we would
Believing in something that is not true
Hey there Mr. Blue
Addressing someone who is feeling blue
I know everything you are
I understand who you are as a person
No need to excavate again
No need to dig any deeper
We’ve already dug too far
Going deeper will only cause more pain
Cause I’ve been kicked around for so long lately
I've been mistreated for a while now
I wear these wounds upon my sleeve
Emotional wounds are visible
Just to resurrect the flame
Trying to revive hope
But it all feels the same
Going through the motions but not feeling any different
Let’s pretend it all feels fine today
Faking happiness as a coping mechanism
Caught in the grey
Feeling stuck in a state of uncertainty
Making my way
Trying to navigate through difficult times
In between shades
Feeling caught in the middle of different emotions
Hey there Mr. Blue
Addressing someone who is feeling blue
I know everything you feel
I understand what you're going through emotionally
It’s when we close our eyes
Seeing things more clearly when we block out distractions
That we can see for real
Realizing the truth of a situation
Let’s pretend it’s all okay now
Putting up a facade, pretending everything is fine
Let’s pretend it still feels good
Faking happiness and contentment
Let’s pretend we got this world on a string
Feeling in control of things
Like they said that we would
Believing in something that is not true
Let’s pretend it all feels fine today
Faking happiness as a coping mechanism
Caught in the grey
Feeling stuck in a state of uncertainty
Cause it’s just another day like today
Every day feels the same in this state of mind
In between shades
Feeling caught in the middle of different emotions
Contributed by Emma V. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@victoralonsocastrocruz1314
This is my favorite song from first album. Thanks Tracy, I love You!!