Silver Platter Club
John Grant Lyrics

I wish that I could get up in the early morning time
I yearn to be able to wake up early in the morning and have good things happen to me without any effort or hard work on my part.

Things would fall out of the sky into my lap
I want good things to come to me without having to work hard for them or make any effort.

I wish I had the brain of a tyrannosaurus rex
I desire the intelligence and strength of a tyrannosaurus rex to navigate through life's challenges with ease instead of dealing with difficulties.

So that I wouldn't have to deal with all this crap
I wish to avoid dealing with the trials and tribulations of life to have a comfortable existence.

I wish that I'd been born with skin that turned to golden brown
I would like to have a natural golden tan color to my skin without having to spend time in the sun or use tanning products.

While at the beach relaxing in the summer time
I envision myself at the beach, enjoying myself during the summer season without any worry or stress.

I wish that I was good at football, baseball and lacrosse
I desire to excel in various physical sports such as football, baseball, and lacrosse without the need for practice or effort.

Darts and basketball, and poker, golf and chess
I also desire to be skilled at various board games and leisure sports such as darts, basketball, poker, golf, and chess.

I'm sorry that they didn't hand it to me
I feel regretful that I did not receive the same opportunities or advantages as someone else without having to work hard for them.

On a silver platter, like they did to you
I wish someone gave me the same benefits or privileges that another person received without putting in any effort, as if it was handed to me on a silver platter.

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to become
I feel apologetic that I did not succeed in becoming what someone else wanted or expected me to be.

The man you think I should aspire to
I feel sorry for not being the person that someone else wants me to be or not living up to their expectations.

I wish I had the genes of Edwardo Verastegui
I yearn to have the same attractive qualities and physical appearance as Edwardo Verastegui without having to put in any effort or work on myself.

That I was effortlessly masculine as well
I want to have a masculine appearance and demeanor without having to work at it or put in any effort.

I wish that confidence was all you could see in my eyes
I want people to perceive me as confident without having to work on building self-confidence and self-esteem.

Like those interviews in locker rooms with talented sports guys
I want to exude confidence and success without putting in any effort or hard work, like talented sports athletes during interviews.

I wish I had no self-awareness like the guys I know
I want to have a lack of self-awareness like some of the people I know, so I don't have to worry or be anxious about how others perceive me.

Float right through their lives without a thought
I desire to live life without any critical thinking or introspection, coasting through without any anxieties or worries.

And that I didn't give a shit what anybody thought of me
I wish to be indifferent to others' thoughts and opinions about me, without letting them affect my sense of self or self-worth.

That I was so relaxed you'd think that I was bored
I want to appear relaxed and carefree to others, without any worries or stresses, giving the impression that I'm bored.