Dinner With Drac Pt. 1
John Zacherle Lyrics


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A dinner was served for three
At dracula's house by the sea
The hors d'oeurve were fine
But i choked on my wine
When i learned that the main course was me!
The waitress a vampire named perkins
Was so very fond of small gherkins
While serving tea
She ate 43
Which pickled her internal workings!
Igor the scalpels go on the left with the pitchforks
Igor, igor...
What a swimmer is dracula's daughter
But her pool looks more red than it oughter
The blood stains the boats
But it's easy to float
Because blood is much thicker than water!
Instrumental interlude
Dracula old friend how are things in transylvania
For dessert there was batwing confetti
And the veins of a mummy named betty
I first frowned upon it
But with ketchup on it




It tasted very much like spaghetti!
Goodnight whatever you are!

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to John Zacherle's song "Dinner With Drac Pt. 1" describe a dinner party at Dracula's house where the main course is revealed to be the singer. The first two lines set the scene for the night's events. The singer is one of three dinner guests who begins to eat the hors d'oeuvres served, but when the main course is revealed to be them, they choke on their wine in surprise. The waitress, a vampire named Perkins, is described as being fond of small pickles and eats 43 while serving tea, which eventually cause her internal problems. Igor, who is Dracula's assistant, is given directions as to where to place the scalpels and pitchforks. Dracula's daughter is described as a good swimmer but her pool appears to be bloodied. The singer describes how blood is thicker than water, which helps them float easier in the blood-filled pool. The song then moves into an instrumental interlude before returning back to the dinner party. Dracula is asked about life in Transylvania before dessert is served. The dessert is made up of batwing confetti and the veins of a mummy named Betty. The singer initially frowns upon the dessert, but once adding ketchup to it, finds it tastes similar to spaghetti. The song ends with the closing line, "Goodnight whatever you are!"


Line by Line Meaning

A dinner was served for three
An event occurred where food was provided for three individuals


At dracula's house by the sea
The food event transpired inside a dwelling by the sea, belonging to Dracula


The hors d'oeurve were fine
The appetizers were of satisfactory quality


But i choked on my wine
I found difficulty swallowing my wine


When i learned that the main course was me!
My realization that my own flesh was the main course for the meal caused me great distress


The waitress a vampire named perkins
The server who was a vampire had the name 'Perkins'


Was so very fond of small gherkins
Perkins showed great admiration for small pickled cucumbers


While serving tea
During the act of providing a beverage of hot, steeped leaves


She ate 43
Perkins consumed a total of 43 gherkins


Which pickled her internal workings!
As a result, the vinegar in the gherkins caused harm to Perkins' internal physiology


Igor the scalpels go on the left with the pitchforks
Igor was instructed by someone to place the scalpels on the left, along with the pitchforks


Igor, igor...
A reference to Igor, perhaps to get his attention


What a swimmer is dracula's daughter
A comment is made about Dracula's daughter's swimming abilities


But her pool looks more red than it oughter
However, the water in her pool appears to have more of a red hue than expected


The blood stains the boats
The boats in the pool have been marked with stains from blood


But it's easy to float
Despite the stains, it is simple to remain buoyant


Because blood is much thicker than water!
This is possible because, biologically, blood has a higher density than water


Dracula old friend how are things in transylvania
Someone is asking Dracula how various aspects of his life are in Transylvania, an area in Europe


For dessert there was batwing confetti
The final dish consisted of a type of ornamentation made from the wings of bats


And the veins of a mummy named betty
In addition to the confetti, the veins of a wrapped, preserved corpse named Betty were also served


I first frowned upon it
Initially, I made a facial expression displaying disapprovement


But with ketchup on it
However, after sauce made from tomatoes and vinegar was added, my opinion was more favorable


It tasted very much like spaghetti!
In fact, the human remains were similar in flavor to a common Italian dish


Goodnight whatever you are!
A farewell is given to an unknown entity




Writer(s): Kal Mann

Contributed by Dylan F. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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