Alexander Minto Hughes (2 May 1945 - 12 March 1998), better known as Judge … Read Full Bio ↴Alexander Minto Hughes (2 May 1945 - 12 March 1998), better known as Judge Dread, was a reggae and ska artist from England.

Born in Kent, Judge Dread was the first White British recording artist to get a reggae hit in Jamaica. He got his stage name from a Prince Buster song, and his first hits were inspired by Prince Buster's single, "Big Five".

The Guinness Book of World Records credits Judge Dread for having the most banned songs of all time. Many of his lyrics have sexual connotations, with one song "Big Five" using rhyme to suggest lewd words while not actually saying them. A series of songs with "Big" followed by a number were some of his most notable hits — all of them featuring sexual and humorous lyrics. It is unlikely that you will ever hear his music on mainstream radio because of the nature of his lyrics.

Judge Dread died on stage in The Penny Theatre, Canterbury. At first, his collapse was thought to be part of his humorous and lively stage act, but it was quickly discovered that he was really dead.

In the 1970s, tabloid newspapers expressed concerns that young fans of the comic character Judge Dredd might buy Judge Dread's records by mistake, and hear things that may corrupt their minds.

Rudeness Train
Judge Dread Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

All aboard the rudeness train... Aye!
Tell your sister to come down quick
And she can have a suck of my...
On the rudeness train... Aye... Oh...

I gave her one in the corridor
And after that she wanted more
On the rudeness train

Rude ya, brother! Aye.....

Move it up sister if you could
For you are standing on my wood
On the rudeness train
Sigh...chka, chka, chka, chka...ssh...oooh!

Show your ticket at the porter calls
And I look up and tell him all
On the rudeness train
Aye... Oh...

I had a girl the other night
She wasn't loose but she wasn't tight
On the rudeness train
Ooooh... Ice!

Whether you're small or whether you're large
Whether you're soft or whether you're hard
It's a rudeness train
Aye... 'Ow ya feelin'?

Mary had a little pig, she also had a bear
I've never seen her little pig but I've often had her bare
On the rudeness train
Aye!
On the rudeness train... Aye!

Boy Blue stood on the burning dock
Waving and shaking his big hairy...
On the rudeness train... Aye...

Slow down,
Slow down brother

You're going too fast...

Overall Meaning

The song "Rudeness Train" by Judge Dread is a sexually explicit and humorous song about lewd behavior on a train. The opening lines, "All aboard the rudeness train... Aye! Tell your sister to come down quick / And she can have a suck of my..." set the tone for the whole song. The lyrics continue in this vein with phrases like "I gave her one in the corridor / And after that she wanted more" and "Move it up sister if you could / For you are standing on my wood." The chorus, "On the rudeness train," is repeated throughout the song.

The song also includes references to showing tickets to the porter, the size and tightness of women, and even a bizarre nursery rhyme mash-up: "Mary had a little pig, she also had a bear / I've never seen her little pig but I've often had her bare." The song ends with the line "Slow down, slow down brother / You're going too fast," which could be interpreted as a reference to the sexual content of the song, or as a meta-commentary on the song itself.

While the lyrics of "Rudeness Train" are certainly not for everyone, they do provide a glimpse into the crass humor of 1970s British music. The song was released in 1972 and became a hit in the UK, despite being banned from the BBC. Judge Dread, whose real name was Alexander Minto Hughes, was known for his comedic and often sexually explicit reggae songs. He released over 200 singles in his lifetime and was often criticized for his lyrics, which were considered by some to be racist and sexist. Despite this, he remains a beloved figure in the UK reggae scene and was even awarded an Order of Distinction by the Jamaican government in 2006.

Line by Line Meaning

All aboard the rudeness train... Aye!
We're all getting on this train of rudeness, you ready?

Tell your sister to come down quick And she can have a suck of my... On the rudeness train... Aye... Oh...
Tell your sister to hurry up and come down; I'll give her sexual favors on this vulgar train we're riding.

I gave her one in the corridor And after that she wanted more On the rudeness train Rude ya, brother! Aye.....
I had sex with her in the hallway, and she wanted more; we're on a rude train ride, my friend!

Move it up sister if you could For you are standing on my wood On the rudeness train Sigh...chka, chka, chka, chka...ssh...oooh!
Scoot up a bit sister so you're not standing on my penis; we're on a rude train, baby!

Show your ticket at the porter calls And I look up and tell him all On the rudeness train Aye... Oh...
When the conductor comes around, show him your ticket, and I'll let him know how things are going on this obscenity-filled ride.

I had a girl the other night She wasn't loose but she wasn't tight On the rudeness train Ooooh... Ice!
I slept with a girl last night who wasn't too tight, but we're on a lewd and vulgar train ride, my friend!

Whether you're small or whether you're large Whether you're soft or whether you're hard It's a rudeness train Aye... 'Ow ya feelin'?
No matter your size, no matter your level of arousal, we're all riding this raunchy train together!

Mary had a little pig, she also had a bear I've never seen her little pig but I've often had her bare On the rudeness train Aye!
Mary had some animals, but I never saw the pig; I saw other parts of her on this vulgar train ride!

Boy Blue stood on the burning dock Waving and shaking his big hairy... On the rudeness train... Aye...
Boy Blue was on the dock, but we're on this rude train shaking our...stuff!

Slow down, Slow down brother You're going too fast...
Slow down, brother; we're getting too wild on this train of vulgarity and obscenity!

Contributed by Allison K. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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