Desperate-Rado
Kid Rock Lyrics

Back in the mother fuckin saddle
I am back and ready to take on life

My six shooter strapped and I'm lookin for a battle
I am fully armed and prepared for anything

Out on the plains I'm just a loner
I am a solitary figure in the wilderness

My saddle horn rubs right and yo it's givin me a boner
The friction from my saddle horn is giving me sexual pleasure

I got thoughts of Annie Oakley
I am imagining myself as a sharpshooter like Annie Oakley

But that buck toothed tramp in that last town she broke me
I was rejected by a woman in the last town I visited

And we didn't even fuck
We did not have sex

I gave my last gold tooth 'n gold nugget to get my dick sucked
I paid all the money I had left for a blowjob

3 days out on the frontier
I have been traveling for three days in the wilderness

And I'd kill for a cheap whore and a barrel of cold beer
I would do whatever it takes to get a prostitute and some beer

I need a slut for a service
I need a prostitute for sex

I take a peak at the shiip and they all run away nervous
When I look at women, they flee from me because I am intimidating

Man I gotta get my rocks off
I need to have sex to relieve my sexual tension

'cause my Wranglers don't fit right unless my cock's soft
My jeans only fit comfortably when I am flaccid

Long nights by the fire me a Trigger.....go figure
I spend long nights by the fire with my horse Trigger

I'm a desperate rado
I am a person in dire need of sex

Got a cock like a cactus
My penis is large and prickly like a cactus

Now I drift through the desert like a wild coyote
I wander aimlessly through the wilderness like a coyote

Horny as a toad trippin off peyote
I am very sexually aroused and under the influence of peyote

Holdin uptrains and gettin goods by the sack
I am a bandit who robs trains and steals valuable goods

I'm known through out the west as the pie eyed mack
I am notorious in the western United States as a drug-using criminal

And to the law I'm no stranger
I have had many run-ins with the law

I'm wanted dead or alive 'cause I shot the Lone Ranger
I am wanted by the law for killing the fictional character, the Lone Ranger

And then Tonto tried to get down
The sidekick Tonto tried to avenge the Lone Ranger's death

So I boned his bitch slit he's throat and then I skipped town
I had sex with Tonto's girlfriend, killed him, and fled the area

That's the way I run my show
That is how I conduct my business

Paint towns red
I cause havoc and destruction in the towns I visit

Fuck hoes and then I lay low
I have sex with women and then hide from the law

I know you think I'm archaic
You might see me as outdated or old-fashioned

But my dick's like a sword
My penis is long and hard like a sword

I see pussy and want to slay it
I view women as prey to be conquered

Out on the plains it gets linely
I feel lonely when I am out in the wilderness

Sometimes I feel homely
I sometimes feel unattractive

New faces
I encounter new people

New towns no one knows me
I am anonymous in new places

Guns cocked in my holster
I am ready for a fight at any moment

You see my face in each town nailed to a pole on a poster
My wanted poster is visible in every town I visit

I'm always lookin for the quick buck
I am constantly searching for an opportunity to make money

Then always blowin my cash on a bitch with a big butt
I spend my money on women who have large buttocks

Some say my head's hollow
Some people think I am stupid

Fuck em... I'm just a
I don't care; I am simply

Desperate rado
A desperate person who is always in need of sex

Trottin through the bad lands
I travel through dangerous wilderness areas

Tokin down with all the cowhands
I smoke marijuana with cowboys

Didn't take much practice
I was naturally good at having sex

Got a cock like a cactus
My penis is large and prickly like a cactus

Now I fuck whores by the scores up ten fold on any fellow
I have sex with many prostitutes, much more than any other person

In any town I can be found at the local bordello
I frequently visit the local brothels

Never yellow never chicken listen for my spurs draggin,
I am brave and fearless, and my spurs make a distinctive sound

And when I'm kickin dust you better circle up the wagons
When I approach, people should be prepared to defend themselves

'Cause I'm a gun slingin top hand
I am a skilled gunman

Fuck with me and you'll go out like Custer at his last stand
If someone opposes me, they will suffer the same fate as General Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn

I'm a low down buckaroo
I am a dishonest bandit

If you leave me alone with your mother then I'll fuck her too
I would have sex with someone's mother if given the opportunity

'Cause I'm a sidewinding nomad
I am a wandering and elusive person

And morals in upbringing is something that I never had
I was not raised with good moral values

Known as the ruff ridin Texan
I am a tough Texan who rides horses

A bad buck from the day of my inception.
I have been a bad person since I was born

And I was raised in the poor house
I grew up in poverty

My mother kicked me out so she could start a whore house
My mother chose to run a brothel instead of raising me

Now since the day I left the corral
Since the day I left home

I've been on a quest for the plant that's called mescal
I am searching for the hallucinogenic plant called mescal

'Cause pale rider once pulled me aside
A person who looked like death told me

And told me that high was the best way to ride...
That being high on drugs was the best way to live life

Now I'm a desperate rado
I am a desperate person in need of sex

Always lookin for a fight
I am always ready for a fight or confrontation

Puffin on a peace pipe
I am smoking a peace pipe

On the run from the law
I am a fugitive from the law

Baddest one you ever saw
I am the most dangerous and notorious person you will ever encounter