King Missile III 1998 - present
* John S. Hall - vocals: singing and spoken word
* Sasha Forte - bass, violin, guitar, keyboards, backing vocals
* Bradford Reed - pencilina, drums, percussion, synthesizer, backing vocals
Jesus Was Way Cool
King Missile Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool
If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool
He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool
He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool
No wonder there are so many Christians
The song "Jesus Was Way Cool" by King Missile is a satirical tribute to Jesus Christ, portraying him as a cool and unconventional figure who could do anything he wanted, including turning wheat into marijuana, sugar into cocaine, and vitamin pills into amphetamines. The song describes Jesus performing miracles such as healing the blind and lame, walking on water, and rising from the dead while also suggesting he could have been a talented musician, athlete, and comedian. The lyrics suggest that Jesus was so cool, people wanted to be around him and listen to his stories.
Despite the satirical portrayal of Jesus, the song still highlights the awe-inspiring impact of Jesus on people. The lyrics suggest a sense of longing for Jesus to have been part of their world and an acknowledgement of his supernatural status. Jesus is even portrayed as being cool for telling people to eat his body and drink his blood, emphasizing the intense devotion that Jesus's disciples had for him.
In conclusion, the song "Jesus Was Way Cool" is a humorous and irreverent tribute to Jesus Christ's legend, skillfully mixing satire with genuine admiration for his impact. King Missile elevates Jesus to legendary status and surrounds him with humor and bravado that are brilliant in their irreverence.
Line by Line Meaning
Jesus was way cool
Jesus was an incredibly cool and interesting person
Everybody liked Jesus
Jesus was very popular and well-liked by everyone who knew him
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Jesus was so cool that everyone wanted to spend time with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
Jesus was not limited in any way and could do whatever he pleased
He turned water into wine
Jesus performed miracles, such as turning water into wine
And if he wanted to
Jesus had the power to do whatever he wished
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Jesus could have performed a miracle to turn wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Jesus could have performed a miracle to turn sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines
Jesus could have performed a miracle to turn vitamin pills into amphetamines
He walked on the water
Jesus could perform supernatural feats, such as walking on water
And swam on the land
Jesus could perform supernatural feats, such as swimming on land
He would tell these stories
Jesus was an excellent storyteller
And people would listen
People were captivated by Jesus' stories
He was really cool
Jesus was an awesome person
If you were blind or lame
If you had a physical ailment such as blindness or lameness
You just went to Jesus
You could go to Jesus for a chance to be healed
And he would put his hands on you
Jesus would place his hands on the afflicted person
And you would be healed
The person would be miraculously cured of their affliction
That's so cool
That is an amazing and cool thing to happen
He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
Jesus could have been a better guitar player than Jimi Hendrix
He could've told the future
Jesus had great insight and could predict the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
Jesus could have been an amazing baker
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
Jesus could have been a better hockey player than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been a better dancer than Mikhail Baryshnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus had a great sense of humor and could have been a better comedian than anyone else
Jesus was way cool
Jesus was an incredibly cool and interesting person
He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
Jesus used a metaphor to describe his sacrifice for humanity
That's so cool
That is an amazing and cool message
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
Some people were envious of Jesus' popularity and coolness
So they killed him
Jesus was crucified
But then he rose from the dead
Jesus was resurrected
He rose from the dead, danced around
Jesus celebrated his resurrection
Then went up to heaven
Jesus ascended into heaven
I mean, that's so cool
That is an amazing and cool thing to happen
Jesus was way cool
Jesus was an incredibly cool and interesting person
No wonder there are so many Christians
It is understandable why so many people follow Christianity
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@thediseaseisthecure
Jesus is born, we get presents.
Jesus dies, we get candy.
Way fuckin’ cool.
@cyberspore00
😂
@drakechernichenko4957
and people wonder why I'm christian
@danielstevenson2772
No wonder there are so many C and E Catholics (Christmas and Easter).
@robmarley2565
Umm????
@scottgoulet1776
This song is way cool but Jesus could have made a way cooler song.
@christopherluke3074
way cooler
@apersonlikeanyother6895
It's just a tribute
@elmerjfapp5730
This tribute would be cooler with jesus
@jonnywas9641
Scott Goulet So Very Very True...!!! Beyond This Experience of My Positive Thanks for Mushrooms...