Day 38
LIL NARNIA Lyrics

Day 38 can't make it
It has been 38 days and I'm struggling to cope.

Counting scars like marks in the pavement
I am reminded of my pain and suffering with each scar on my body.

All the love in me turned to hatred
The love I once had for someone is now replaced with resentment and anger.

And beautiful things bring pain when
Things that are beautiful and meaningful can cause just as much pain when they're gone.

They're gone like we all will be
Everything and everyone is temporary and will eventually disappear.

Wish I could kill my fucking feelings
I wish I could just get rid of my emotions and stop feeling pain.

Stuck in this hell scratched your name in the ceiling
I am trapped in my own personal hell and I have resorted to carving your name into the ceiling out of desperation.

Starting to think that this is really how it ends
I'm starting to believe that this is my reality and that I will never escape this pain.

Been 6 months since I've seen you
It has been half a year since I last saw you.

Hope you're doing good yea me too
I hope you're doing well, and I'm also doing okay.

Things have changed so much and I've seen a new life
A lot has changed since we were last together, and I have been forced to see life from a different perspective.

It all fell into place without you by my side
Things seemed to fall into place once I was no longer with you.

Then 10 years came and went so quick
Time has flown by so quickly, it feels like just yesterday we were together.

Your first love's gone and got 3 kids
You have moved on and started a family with someone else.

It took so long but there's so much I've missed
It has taken me a while to realize, but I have missed out on a lot.

I've learned life hurts but I love this
Despite the pain and heartache that life can bring, I still love living.

And all I ever really wanted was you in it
All I ever truly wanted was to have you in my life.

Maybe I'm meant to spend forever as a masochist
Perhaps I am destined to always feel pain and suffering, as if I am a masochist.

All I have left is in my head
All I have left of you is in my memories and thoughts.

A blank space with your name in it
In my mind, there is an empty space that I associate with you.

Wish you would have stayed but I understand
While I wish you had stayed with me, I understand why you had to leave.

Went too deep and drowned again
I allowed myself to get too emotionally invested and ended up drowning in my own feelings.

I think the pain made me love instead
The pain I have experienced has taught me to appreciate and love more deeply.

Pulled out the pages inside my head
I have been forced to confront my innermost thoughts and feelings.

Felt what it means to see everything and
I have experienced the full range of emotions and understand what it means to truly feel.

Every being for what it is
I now see every person and thing for what they truly are, without any illusions or false perceptions.

I still miss you so much
Despite everything, I still deeply miss you.

But everythings hopeless and its not so bad
Everything feels hopeless, but oddly enough, it's not as bad as it seems.

Add another slash and run it back screaming
I am so consumed by my emotions that I resort to self-harm and screaming in order to cope with my pain and frustration.