In 1983, a man named Lewis recorded an album named L’Amour, which was released on the unknown label R.A.W. And that’s about all we know.
The record itself is a delicate, whispered album, reflecting the way the artist himself – spectral, movie star-like – almost disappears into the grey of the cover. It should come as no surprise that it failed to shout loudly enough to be noticed, another private press album that sank without trace.
The ingredients are simple: smooth synthesizers, feather-light piano, ethereal, occasionally inaudible vocals and the gentle plucking of acoustic guitars. But the effects are arresting: a spine-tingling, sombre album that echoes Springsteen’s Nebraska or Angelo Badalamenti’s atmospheric soundtracks. Later, Arthur Russell would grasp for something similar on the epochal World Of Echo LP.
L’Amour is a true discovery of the blog age, uncovered in an Edmonton flea-market by collector Jon Murphy, passed on to private press fanatic Aaron Levin, shared on the internet and speculated over by lovers of curious LPs. There’s almost no information about Lewis or the album on the internet. There’s precious little on the sleeve: a dedication to Sports Illustrated supermodel Christie Brinkley, a photo credit for Ed Colver, the noted L.A. punk rock photographer, and credits for engineer Bob Kinsey and synth player Philip Lees. All that was known of Lewis is conjecture: a rumor that he was a con artist who fled after not paying for L’Amour’s photo-shoot and a dubious theory that he was not actually of this earth.
When Light In The Attic looked to release the album, they set out to investigate the mystery. They found some answers, but more intrigue too. Colver was able to fill in some blanks. Firstly, Lewis is a pseudonym. The man the photographer met was named Randall Wulff. He stayed in the Beverley Hills Hilton, drove a white convertible Mercedes and dated a girl who looked like a model. He paid for his photo session with Colver with a $250 check, which bounced.
Eventually, the trail led to Alberta, Canada, where that first LP had been found. Liner notes writer Jack Fleischer along with master detective Markus Armstrong found Randall’s nephew, who remembered Randall as a stockbroker. His vague recollections include a visit to Randall’s apartment, with all-white furniture and that beautiful girlfriend in situ. Crucially, he offered another name – another of Randall’s pseudonyms – which led to a Vancouver studio and the revelation that Lewis had recorded three or four albums of “soft religious music” there. Alas, even the new nom de plume led only to dead ends.
Lewis remains a ghost, a total mystery, but the music will be heard. The album is being pressed for the first time in more than 30 years, and widely distributed for the first time ever. Lewis’s royalties will be placed in escrow until he makes himself known. Perhaps you know Lewis. Perhaps Lewis is you. The only certainty is this: Lewis is about to find a whole bunch of new fans.
My Whole Life
Lewis Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
We Like To Party
Like we are
Teenagers on the road
Freelancers on their work
Astronauts on the Moon
(Oh)
I can lose myself tonight
It will be ok
Ok
I've got it
I can lose myself tonight
I can live my life today
It'll all will be ok
Ok
I've got it
'Til The Morning
We Like To Party
Like we are
Teenagers on the road
Freelancers on their work
Astronauts on the Moon
(Oh)
I can lose myself tonight
I can live my life today
It will be ok
Ok
I've got it
I can lose myself tonight
I can live my life today
It'll all will be ok
Ok
I've got it
The song "My Whole Life" by Lewis explores themes of guilt, struggle, and redemption. The lyrics depict the singer's acknowledgment of his own mistakes and the consequences that follow. The line "I'll watch it all go down in flames, knowing there's no one to blame but me" suggests that the singer is taking responsibility for his actions and is willing to face the consequences.
The verse "So I sit here staring at the sky and wonder why, the hands of God still hold me and help me through this life" portrays the singer's inner turmoil and his search for meaning and purpose. The chorus line "A little purpose, the story of my life" indicates that the singer is still in the process of finding his purpose or meaning in life, and that it is an ongoing struggle.
The second verse of the song mentions being haunted by the words someone has said to the singer, possibly indicating that he is struggling with internal and external voices of criticism, judgment and doubt. The line "This holy war inside my head is probably not the safest place to be" suggests a mental and emotional battle that the singer is facing.
Overall, "My Whole Life" is a song that touches on deep human emotions and the search for meaning and redemption.
Line by Line Meaning
I'll watch it all go down in flames
I know I'm headed for disaster and will witness my own destruction.
Knowin' there's no one to blame but me
I'm aware that my actions have consequences and I am solely responsible for them.
Another vice to kill the pain
I turn to unhealthy habits to numb my emotional pain and cope with my struggles.
Knowin' that the pain will set me free
I understand that facing my pain and struggles is necessary for personal growth and liberation.
So I sit here starin' at the sky, and wonder why
I am reflecting on my life while contemplating the mysteries of the universe.
The hands of God still hold me, and help me through this life
Despite my flaws and mistakes, I feel spiritually guided and supported in my journey.
A sinner in so many ways, I've made it through so many days
I acknowledge my imperfections and past mistakes, but also recognize my strength and resilience.
I struggle, still lookin' for a sign
I am facing difficulties and seeking direction or guidance to navigate my challenges.
A little purpose
I am searching for meaning and motivation in my life, even if it's just a small amount.
The story of my life
My experiences, both good and bad, have shaped who I am and my journey through life.
I'm haunted by the words you said
Someone's words have stayed with me and continue to affect me emotionally.
Prayin' that there's any hope for me
I am feeling helpless and unsure about my future and seeking hope or positivity.
This holy war inside my head
I am battling internal struggles or conflicts, which may be spiritual or psychological in nature.
Is probably not the safest place to be
I am aware that my thoughts and emotions can be dangerous and unpredictable.
So as the darkness turns to day
I am hopeful that things will improve, even after experiencing difficult times.
The light it shows the depth of my disguise
I am acknowledging that I have hidden parts of myself or masked my true feelings or intentions.
My safety was naivety
I realize that my previous sense of security or comfort was based on false beliefs or assumptions.
Created by deception and with lies
I am acknowledging that I have been dishonest with myself or others and that this has affected my life.
The story of my life
My experiences, both positive and negative, have contributed to who I am and my journey through life.
Lyrics © DistroKid
Written by: Luigi B.
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@tylerk-fc7ig
My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 Cancer on 4/10/22. He passed away 6/11/23. I have never felt a stronger connection to a song. I really would just like to say that throughout the tough journey of my father battling cancer I learned some really valuable life lessons and I want to share that with those who are fortunate to still have there parents/loved ones.
People always say to cherish the time you have with loved ones but naturally, life has so many distractions and it's easy to get caught up in everything going on in your personal life & take things for granted.
Let your loved ones know how much you love them.
Make time for them, even when you do not feel like it.
Mend your relationship with them if there is any issues because life is honestly way too short.
Take many photos & videos.
Try to create as many memories as possible.
As sick and evil that cancer is, I was fortunate enough to hold my fathers hand as he passed, and tell him how much I loved him and how amazing of a father he was to me and my sister. Even though he couldn't talk I could tell when he looked into my eyes how much he loved me.
@mrp5578
I’m dying of cancer that spread to my lungs . I don’t know how to say good bye to my kids.The pain of leaving them is the most painful thing in my life. They don’t deserve this. They’re good kids and for them to see me sick for several years and the trauma it brings it- is very painful for me. May Gods have mercy on my family. No child should bear the pain of losing a parent at a young age.
@lazybee666
❤️❤️❤️
@teepy99
Man, sending you all the well wishes and good energy I can. May the world embrace your kids and give their caregivers an abundance of love to give to them.
I don't know you but I would say the days yous have, make loads of videos, leave them lots of stories and give them all the love you can muster.
@siwihshdf8586
i wish the best for you and your kids
@XferSM
My father named pat passed 7 days ago. Just know your kids will Embrace the memories on carry on living life with everything you've taught them.
@jamesallaman7260
I wish you will be cancer free soon and live to see your great grand children.
@HindsightFPV
I do not fear death for myself but I am absolutely terrified of losing the ones I love. This song cuts right through me and exposes my personal fears.
@Eryk_Soja
But the ones you love have fear of you dying
@aliciastout6701
Me too! I am scared to lose my children. My grandmother our lives all her children. Parents should not outlive their children
@R1oTer
same here brother. i’m worried about not being there for my daughter, but otherwise it would devastate more me more to lose one of my close loved ones. we only get so much time with them