Irrelevant
Matthew Ryan Lyrics

There's only one light on in the house
The house is dark and lonely, with only one light shining

And that's the light up in the hall
The only light in the house is coming from the hallway

And it's shining on the back of my head
The light is illuminating the singer's head and his thoughts

And I'm concentrating hard
The artist is trying to focus on something

On the cigarette, to the ashtray
He is paying close attention to the cigarette burning and the ashes falling into the ashtray

From the ashtray back to my lips
He is also focused on the cigarette going from the ashtray back to his lips

So I lean up from my easy chair
He sits up from his relaxed position in the easy chair

I rub my three day beard
He rubs his facial hair, which has not been shaved in three days

And give that thousand yard stare
He has a distant look in his eyes, like he's staring off into the distance

As I recall all the time and the money we spent
He is reminiscing about the time and money he spent on something or someone

Before I became irrelevant
All the time and money he spent before becoming irrelevant seems like a waste

So the straw dog threw rock salt
Something or someone unexpectedly hurt him

And the precious girl took a bow and walked
A girl he cared about left him and moved on

As I ran my finger over the screen door
He touches the screen door, perhaps symbolizing that he's trapped

Yeah, every kiss has reeked of betrayal
Every romantic gesture or relationship has ended in disappointment or betrayal

Since my heroine jumped the guardrail
Since the person he loved ran away or left, abandoning him

And decided who she wanted to be once more
The person he loved has found a new sense of identity and purpose without him

Now, every night I'm paralyzed
He feels stuck in this state of pain and confusion every night

By the fear of rope burns and morning light
He's scared of physical and emotional pain, as well as the light of day

And the smell of wet cement
Perhaps a reference to some kind of traumatic experience

Since I became irrelevant
All of these negative feelings and experiences came after he became irrelevant

Now, memory's just a flash flood
Memories come back to him suddenly and powerfully, like a flash flood

A thick and black sticky mud
Those memories can be difficult to navigate through, like a thick and sticky mud

And heartache it's like a breaking bone
Emotional pain can be just as physically intense as a broken bone

It was always twelve hours on a missionary line
He was always busy with work or some other obligation, and never made time for himself or his loved ones

You think I would've spared some time
In hindsight, he realizes he should have made more time for the people who mattered to him

But I didn't, I never went home
He says he never returned home, maybe because of his busy schedule or because he felt unwelcome there

Now, it occurs to me like blinds undrawn
A realization suddenly comes to him

Or a bullet from a shotgun
It's a powerful realization, like a bullet from a shotgun

That she knew long ago, oh, what it meant
The person he loved knew a long time ago that she didn't need him to be happy

To feel irrelevant
She recognized that she didn't need him in her life, and she made the choice to move on

Now, I'm always smilin', cryin'
He's conflicted and doesn't know how to process his emotions

And hidin' my intent
He tries to keep his true feelings hidden from others

Since I became irrelevant
All of these complex emotional struggles started when he became irrelevant