Gangsta Rap
Natalie Portman Lyrics
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Natalie Portman: Hello.
Parnell: So, Natalie, what's the day in life of Natalie Portman like?
Portman: Do you really want to know?
Portman: I don't sleep mother f***er
off that yak and bourbon
doin' 120 gettin' head while I'm swervin'
Seth Meyers: D**n Natalie, you a crazy chick
Portman: Yo shut the f*** up and suck my d**k
I'm bustin' dudes mouth like gushers mother f***er
Roll up on NBC and smack the s**t outta Jeff Zucker
Guys: What you want Natalie
Portman: To drink and fight
Guys: What you need Natalie
Portman: To f*** all night
Don't test when I'm crazy on that airplane glue
Put my foot down your throat
Till you s**t in my shoe
Leave you screaming
Pay for my dry cleaning
F*** your man
It's my name that he's screamin'
Parnell: I'm sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
Portman: I never said I was a role model.
Parnell: What about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?
Portman: All the kids lookin' up to me can suck my d**k
It's Portman mother f***er
Drink till I'm sick
Slit your throat
And pour nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry
While I laugh you die
And all the dudes
You know I'm talkin' to you
Guys: We love you, Natalie
Portman: I wanna f*** you too
P is for Portman
P is for Pussy
I'll kill your f**in' dog for fun so don't push me
Parnell: Well, Natalie I'm surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.
Portman: Well there's a lot you may not know about me.
Parnell: Really? Such as?
When I was in Harvard
I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test
and snorted all the yay
I gotta a def posse
and you gotta buncha dudes
I sit down on your face and take a s**t
Andy Samberg: Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch (hell yeah!)
And I always pay for your dry cleanin'
When my s**t gets in your shoe
And as for the drug use
Well I can vouch for that
My d**k is scared of you
Girl
Parnell: Okie-doke. One final question, if you steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, who would it–
(Portman throws chair at Parnell)
Portman: No more questions
What!
The lyrics to Natalie Portman's "Gangsta Rap" are a satirical take on celebrity personas and expectations. Chris Parnell interviews Portman, asking her about her daily life. She responds by detailing a wild, party-filled lifestyle that includes drug and alcohol use, reckless driving while receiving oral sex, and physically assaulting someone. She even goes so far as to say that her fans can "suck my d**k" and that she'll "kill your f**in' dog for fun" if provoked.
The song is a commentary on the pressure to be a perfect role model for fans and the stereotypes of celebrities, particularly women. Portman, a Harvard graduate with a wholesome reputation, humorously subverts those expectations by portraying herself as a tough, violent, and sexually aggressive gangsta rapper.
Line by Line Meaning
I don't sleep mother f***er
off that yak and bourbon
doin' 120 gettin' head while I'm swervin'
I stay awake by consuming drugs and alcohol and engage in reckless driving while receiving oral sex.
Yo shut the f*** up and suck my d**k
I'm bustin' dudes mouth like gushers mother f***er
Roll up on NBC and smack the s**t outta Jeff Zucker
I demand that you perform oral sex on me and often engage in violent acts against people and corporations.
To drink and fight
My desires involve drinking heavily and engaging in physical altercations.
Put my foot down your throat
Till you s**t in my shoe
Leave you screaming
Pay for my dry cleaning
F*** your man
It's my name that he's screamin'
I like to engage in violent sexual acts and demand that others pay for the consequences.
All the kids lookin' up to me can suck my d**k
It's Portman mother f***er
Drink till I'm sick
Slit your throat
And pour nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry
While I laugh you die
And all the dudes
You know I'm talkin' to you
I have no respect for those who admire me, I enjoy dangerous behavior, and I enjoy inflicting pain upon others.
P is for Portman
P is for Pussy
I'll kill your f**in' dog for fun so don't push me
I use my last name as a crude way to identify myself, I have no qualms about taking a life and I will do so if provoked.
When I was in Harvard
I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test
and snorted all the yay
I gotta a def posse
and you gotta buncha dudes
I sit down on your face and take a s**t
In college, I engaged in drug use and cheating on exams. I have a strong crew behind me and demand submission from men.
Contributed by Ethan Y. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
OneTopic
Natalie Portman was a huge inspiration to me growing up.
"I never said I was a role model" and yet, you still were for this guy. Cheers.
N.S. M.
One Topic! hi! I think it's funny that we have both watched this recently, and I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your content. you were one of the first people I've seen having positive videos about lgbtq+ people, and it really makes me happy.
цветок
@N.S. M. wow you copy pasted something, must feel cool being 14
Anthony Fuqua
I've always liked Natalie Portman. In some movies she looks great. I had a friend who said she can't look good because she's a Jew and speaks Hebrew. I say f that.
Jonbutter
The fact that Natalie was willing to do all of this within the first season of Digital Shorts, before the fame of Lazy Sunday and all of that really set in, is so epic imo
LucyLovettLestrange
Oh yes! Before the famed D— In The Box 😂
peteroh9
This was three months after Lazy Sunday.
Mister FPT
@peteroh9 2005 right ?
didybopintitys
@Mister FPT it says in the description 2006
killjoy cola
lazy sunday came out in 05, this came out a whole year later