Sawdust & Diamonds
Newsom Joanna Lyrics

From the top of the flight Of the wide, white stairs Through the rest of my life Do you wait for me there?
As time goes by, will you always be there for me?

There's a bell in my ears There's the wide, white roar Drop a bell down the stairs Hear it fall forevermore Hear it fall, forevermore
I hear a constant ringing in my ears, along with a loud, continuous noise that resembles the sound of a bell falling down a never-ending set of stairs.

Drop a bell off of the dock Blot it out in the sea Drowning mute as a rock; And sounding mutiny
If I were to drop a bell into the ocean, it would sink to the bottom and make no sound, possibly inciting a rebellion.

There's a light in the wings Hits the system of strings From the side, where they swing — See the wires, the wires, the wires And the articulation in our elbows and knees Makes us buckle; And we couple in endless increase As the audience admires
The lighting illuminates the stage, causing the strings and wires that hold us up to be evident. Even though it seems as if our knees and elbows will give in and make us fall, we stay upright and continue to connect with the audience.

And the little white dove Made with love, made with love; Made with glue, and a glove, and some pliers Swings a low sickle arc, from its perch in the dark: Settle down, settle down, my desire
The small bird, created with care and precision, swings gently through the air while urging me to calm down.

And the moment I slept I was swept up in a terrible tremor Though no longer bereft How I shook! And I couldn't remember And then the furthermost shake drove a murthering stake in And cleft me right down through my center And I shouldn't say so But I knew that it was then, or never
As soon as I fell asleep, an intense earthquake shook me to my core, leaving me unable to remember what had transpired. With one final, violent tremble, I was completely shattered.

Push me back into a tree Bind my buttons with salt And fill my long ears with bees Praying please, please, please Oh, you ought not No you ought not
If you are asking for something and I refuse, please do not force me into a tree or put salt on my wounds while bees swarm my ears; this is not the proper way to get what you want.

And then the system of strings tugs on the tip of my wings (Cut from cardboard and old magazines): Makes me warble and rise, like a sparrow And in the place where I stood There is a circle of wood — A cord or two — which you chop And you stack in your barrow And it is terribly good to carry water and chop wood Streaked with soot, heavy-booted and wild-eyed; As I crash through the rafters And the ropes and the pulleys trail after And the holiest belfry burns sky-high
The wires that hold me up are pulled, causing my cardboard-like wings to flap uncontrollably and making me rise, chirping like a bird. In the place where I was standing, there's a circle made of wood - a few cords that you chop and pile up in your cart. This work is hard, but fulfilling, and as I work, I am stained with soot and debris. Suddenly, I burst through the roof and the bell tower, creating a massive fire.

And then the slow lip of fire moves Across the prairie with precision While, somewhere, with your pliers and glue You make your first incision And in a moment of almost-unbearable vision Doubled over with the hunger of lions Hold me close, cooed the dove Who was stuffed, now, with sawdust and diamonds
As I watch the flames slowly spread throughout the area, you are somewhere cutting into something for the first time with pliers and glue. The moment is almost too much for me to bear, and I feel desperate like a lion. Although the bird was once real and alive, it now consists entirely of sawdust and diamonds.

I wanted to say: "Why the long face?" Sparrow, perch and play songs of long face Burro, buck and bray songs of long face! Sing, I will swallow your sadness, and eat your cold clay Just to lift your long face; And though it may be madness, I will take to the grave Your precious longface And though our bones they may break, and our souls separate — Why the long face? And though our bodies recoil from the grip of the soil — Why the long face?
I wished to say, "Why are you so sad?" Sparrow, sit in one place and sing melancholy songs about long faces. Burro, kick and shout about how sad you are! I swear I will consume your sadness and cold clay, simply to see a smile on your long face. Even though it may seem irrational, I will carry your longface with me to the grave. And even when our physical forms crumble and our souls diverge - why stay sad? Why have a long face?

And in the trough of the waves Which are pawing like dogs Pitch we, pale-faced and grave As I write in my log
As we ride the waves, which are relentless and boisterous, our faces turn pale and we are serious. Meanwhile, I am keeping a record of the events in my logbook.

Then I hear a noise from the hull Seven days out to sea And it is that damnable bell! And it tolls — well, I believe that it tolls It tolls for me and It tolls for me!
While seven days into our voyage, a sound emanates from the hull. The bell that has been haunting me is back, and it tolls for me - I'm certain of it!

And though my wrists and my waist seemed so easy to break Still, my dear, I'd have walked you to the edge of the water And they will recognize all the lines of your face In the face of the daughter, of the daughter of my daughter
Although it seemed like it would be simple to break my wrists or waist, I would have carried you to the water's edge no matter what. Your face's familiar lines will be recognized in our offspring's own children.

And darling, we will be fine; but what was yours and mine Appears to me a sandcastle That the gibbering wave takes But if it's all just the same, then will you say my name; Say my name in the morning, so that I know when the wave breaks
My love, we will be fine in the end, but everything that we ever cherished as ours has become like a sandcastle that the ocean's waves can whisk away with ease. But if it's all the same to you, will you still call me yours when I wake up and that day's waves crash down?

I wasn't born of a whistle Or milked from a thistle at twilight No; I was all horns and thorns Sprung out fully formed, knock-kneed and upright
I didn't come into existence by way of a whistle or from milk that had been drawn from a thistle at dusk. No, I came into this world fully formed, all horns and thorns, standing awkwardly with my legs bent in.

So enough of this terror We deserve to know light And grow evermore lighter and lighter You would have seen me through But I could not undo that desire Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh desire Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh desire Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh desire Oh Desire, desire, desire
Enough of this fear - we should be able to revel in light and become lighter and lighter. You always would have protected me, but I couldn't ignore those yearnings within me. Desire, oh, desire, how it consumes me.