If Only
Nothing Lyrics

I wake up fully clothed beside my bed
I find myself in a state of confusion and regret as I awake, realizing I fell asleep fully dressed on the floor next to my bed.

I don't know how I got here but it's a tale I'll come to dread
I am filled with anxiety and fear as I cannot recall the events that led me to this point, but I know it is a story that will haunt me.

I'm sure, my keys hang in the door
I am certain that my keys are left hanging in the door, a sign of careless abandon and a reminder of my reckless behavior.

There's an empty half of vodka and fast food on the floor
I am confronted with the evidence of my self-destructive actions - an empty half bottle of vodka and discarded fast food littering the floor.

Oh no, what have I done?
I am filled with remorse and regret as I question the consequences of my actions, realizing the extent of my poor choices.

And who is this man I've become?
I struggle to recognize myself in the mirror, questioning the person I have transformed into - a shadow of my former self.

'Cause I just can't seem to stay at home
I find it impossible to remain within the confines of my own dwelling, constantly seeking distractions and avoiding solitude.

I just can't face the night alone
The thought of facing the darkness and isolation of the night without companionship is overwhelming and unbearable for me.

Since she said I'd not amount to anything
Ever since she expressed her belief that I would never achieve anything significant, her words have deeply affected my self-worth.

Oh, if she could only see me now
I yearn for her to witness the person I have become, in hopes that she would regret underestimating my potential.

I know that she'd regret everything
I am convinced that if she were to witness my current state, she would feel a profound sense of remorse for the judgments she made about me.

I nurse my aching head with cups of tea
In an attempt to alleviate the pain and discomfort of my hangover, I console myself by drinking numerous cups of tea.

And watch the hundred greatest countdowns on T.V.
To distract myself from the overwhelming thoughts and emotions, I immerse myself in mindless entertainment by watching various countdown shows on television.

Once more, but the best hangover cure
Despite the repetition and familiarity, I continue to indulge in these activities as I believe they offer the best remedy for my hangover.

Is soak your self inflicted wounds in alcohol some more
I mistakenly believe that further drowning myself in alcohol will provide a temporary relief for the pain I have caused myself.

So I do it all again
Without considering the consequences, I engage in the same destructive pattern once more, perpetuating the cycle of self-destruction and regret.

With these creatures I call friends
I surround myself with individuals who, like me, engage in reckless behavior, referring to them as 'creatures' in acknowledgment of their shared destructive nature.

I drink and laugh and act all manly
In an attempt to project an image of strength and masculinity, I consume alcohol, engage in laughter, and engage in behavior that aligns with societal expectations.

Cling to anyone who'll have me
Desperate for connection and validation, I latch onto anyone willing to accept me, disregarding the quality or depth of the relationships formed.

Only thought of my career, when she was here, but now she's gone
In her presence, my sole focus was on advancing my career, neglecting the importance of our relationship. However, now that she is no longer with me, I realize the magnitude of my mistake.

I was too concerned about me, to ever see, I was wrong
Blinded by self-centeredness, I failed to recognize the errors of my ways, never realizing the extent of my wrongdoings until it was too late.

'Cause I need her to come home to
I yearn for her presence in my life, longing for her to return so that I may find solace and purpose in having someone to come home to.

To disapprove of the things I do
Deep down, I seek her disapproval as a reminder of my shortcomings and as a motivation to change my reckless behavior.

'Cause without her I don't care one bit
The absence of her love and support renders me apathetic and indifferent, as I struggle to find value or motivation in anything without her.

I just can't see the point in it
Everything feels meaningless and devoid of purpose, leaving me unable to perceive any significance or reason behind my actions or existence.

She said I'd be nothing without her
Her words continue to haunt me, reminding me of her belief that I would amount to nothing in life if not for her presence and guidance.

Oh, if she could only see me now
I desperately desire for her to witness the person I have become, longing for her to realize the erroneous nature of her previous judgments.

I know that she'd regret everything
With absolute certainty, I believe that if she were to witness the current state of my life, she would experience deep regret and remorse for underestimating my potential and worth.

Oh, if she could only see, she could only see, If she could only see me now
Repeatedly, I express my longing for her to behold the person I have transformed into, emphasizing how her perception of me would drastically change if she were to witness my current situation.