Nickelodeon Girls
PINK GUY Lyrics

Hi, sorry to disturb you this late in the night
Pink Guy is making a serious inquiry directed toward Nickelodeon

My question is: What the fuck are you doing?
He is wondering what Nickelodeon is doing with their programming

You know y'all used to have some fire bitches
Pink Guy acknowledges that Nickelodeon used to have attractive female actresses

When I turn on the TV I'm trying to see my favorite bitches
He is hoping to see his favorite actresses when watching Nickelodeon

Zoey101? Jennette McCurdy? Oh my God
Pink Guy is giving examples of his favorite actresses from Nickelodeon shows

And now all you got is these preteens
He is disappointed that Nickelodeon now only has younger, preteen actresses

Bruh, I'm not a pedo
Pink Guy is clarifying that he is not a pedophile

I'm not trying to look at these little kids and get aroused
He is uncomfortable with watching younger, preteen actresses

Now I can't watch Nickelodeon with my dick in my hand anymore
He cannot watch Nickelodeon shows in a sexual context anymore

Now I'm fucking upset
Pink Guy is upset with the current state of Nickelodeon shows

Dan Schneider
Pink Guy is calling out the head of Nickelodeon programming, Dan Schneider

Bring all my bitches back
He is demanding that Nickelodeon bring back his favorite actresses

The new shit you put out is wack
He is not a fan of Nickelodeon's current programming

I'm just trying to get an erection
Pink Guy wants to watch shows that turn him on

But now that these kids looking 13 and under
He is uncomfortable with watching younger, preteen actresses

My penis will suffer
He cannot watch shows that do not turn him on

This ain't a fucking game, bitch
Pink Guy is being serious about his dissatisfaction with Nickelodeon's programming

I wanna watch a sitcom
He wants to watch a funny TV show

With my hand on my dick
He wants to watch a show that turns him on sexually

I wanna see a titty (titty)
Pink Guy wants to watch a show that features attractive actresses

Not fucking kid shit
He does not want to watch a show featuring younger, preteen actresses

Return all the hot chicks
Pink Guy wants Nickelodeon to bring back attractive actresses to their shows

Or you gon get it bitch
He is threatening Dan Schneider to bring back his favorite actresses or face consequences

ICarly, iCarly
He is calling out the Nickelodeon show, iCarly

I don't care if you look like Michael Jackson
Pink Guy is not concerned with the appearance of actresses

As long as you giving me action
He wants to watch actresses who are sexually attractive to him

And Freddy gon' film the reaction
Pink Guy wants one of the male characters from the show to film his sexual encounter with an actress

Sam gonna join in
He wants one of the female characters from the show to join in on his sexual encounter with the actress

And suck me a fat one
Pink Guy wants the female character to engage in a sexual act with him

Nickelodeon girls
Pink Guy is referring to actresses from Nickelodeon shows

Can't live without 'em (whew)
He thinks the actresses from Nickelodeon shows are necessary for his sexual desires

Ariana Grande
He is referencing the singer and actress Ariana Grande

I know I drive a Hyundai
Pink Guy is giving information about himself

I can put you in a coma
He is sexually attracted to Ariana Grande

Have brunch on a Sunday (fancy)
He has romantic aspirations with Ariana Grande

My dick put you in a coffin
Pink Guy is talking about the size of his penis

All night screaming and tossing
He envisions having long-lasting sexual encounters with Ariana Grande

Victoria Justice
He is referring to the actress Victoria Justice

I know you tryna touch this
He believes Victoria Justice is sexually attracted to him

Lizzie McGuire is tight
He is referring to the title character from the TV show Lizzie McGuire

But I bet Zoey's tighter
He prefers Zoey from one of the Nickelodeon shows

You can find me in her bed
Pink Guy envisions a sexual encounter with Zoey

Digging through that vaginer
He wants to have sex with Zoey

Amanda Bynes, you a little bit crazy
Pink Guy is making a playful comment about the actress Amanda Bynes

But you can still have my babies (whew)
He is sexually attracted to Amanda Bynes

Go down like a dog with the rabies
He is referencing his sexual techniques

Y'all can't save me
He cannot be stopped from his sexual fantasies

Uh, a little bit of weed, hard liquor for the ladies
He is giving information about his lifestyle

Got me feeling like a young Dan Schneider from the 80's
Pink Guy is comparing himself to the head of Nickelodeon programming in the 80's

With a Jewish law firm and an all black Mercedes
He is making a joke about his income from his music career

She playing with the balls like Brady (ay)
He is referencing the football quarterback Tom Brady

Fuck off with the shitty little kids with their stupid shit
Pink Guy is expressing his dissatisfaction with younger, preteen actresses

I only wanna see the ones with a body fit
He is only interested in watching attractive actresses on TV

And I don't want to be the one to be a little bitch about it
He does not want to be seen as a complainer

But I'm just saying what everybody is thinking (hahahahaha)
Pink Guy believes that most people want to see attractive actresses on TV

Where the titties at?
He wants to see a show featuring actresses with large breasts

Dan Schneider why you ruining your business?
He believes that Nickelodeon's current programming is affecting their business

You realize I'd probably buy cable if you keep all the girls
Pink Guy thinks he would pay for cable TV service if the shows had attractive actresses

And the ratings all stable
He assumes that shows with attractive actresses would have better ratings

Cuz I ain't tryin to see a young baby in the cradle
He does not want to watch shows that feature younger, preteen actresses

The girls I have sexualized are all in their 20's and 30's
Pink Guy is clarifying that he is attracted to older women

(Disclaimer!)
He is acknowledging that his lyrics are not to be taken seriously

I'm not saying you should change all the bitches
He is not insisting that Nickelodeon should change their programming to fit his desires

But at least something after 10:30 (30!)
He wishes that a TV show featuring attractive actresses could air later at night

I love you Dan Schneider, just please bring them back
Pink Guy is expressing his love for Dan Schneider while requesting that his favorite actresses return to Nickelodeon programming