Pallbearer released their debut album "Sorrow and Extinction" in February 2012 via Profound Lore Records to much critical acclaim.
The current line-up is:
Brett Campbell - vocals, guitar
Devin Holt - guitar
Joseph D. Rowland - bass
Mark Lierly - drums
Caledonia
Pallbearer Lyrics
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To watch the color fade and let go of my youth
Walls were built to hide it all from view
Still standing now, still as resolute
I could hardly muster a goodbye
Pleading for numbness to arrive
Though it meant I'd never fully heal
Caledonia
I wasn′t aware
That fate would plunge the knife
I'd watched the color fade out from joys of life
Walls of guilt can hide it all from view
I try to tear them down
Still, they are renewed
I can hardly muster a goodbye
And I'm pleading for numbness to survive
Every day when clarity reveals
I′ve lost the will to let myself heal
Caledonia
From the depths of your being
One last moment awake
From the depths of my being
I′ve never ceased to escape
From Caledonia (From Caledonia)
Caledonia (Caledonia)
The lyrics of Pallbearer's song Caledonia delve into themes of loss, regret, and the struggle to come to terms with the passage of time. The first verse speaks of facing the "final hues" and watching "the color fade" as the singer lets go of their youth. The use of color here is interesting, as it implies a sense of vibrancy and life that is slowly fading away. The walls that were built to hide this process from view suggest that the singer may have been in denial or trying to avoid confronting their mortality, but now they are "still standing" and unable to escape the reality of their situation.
In the chorus, the singer expresses their difficulty with saying goodbye and the desire for numbness to take over, even if it means never fully healing. The repetition of the line "I lost the will to let myself feel" highlights the emotional numbness that has overtaken the singer, preventing them from fully processing their grief.
The second verse introduces the concept of guilt and its ability to hide things from view. The singer acknowledges their attempts to tear down these walls, but they are constantly being "renewed". The struggle to confront guilt and move past it is a common theme in many forms of grief.
The final lines of the chorus suggest that the singer is coming to a deeper understanding of their situation, but they are still struggling to fully heal from their loss. The repetition of "Caledonia" throughout the song could be interpreted as a symbol for the past or a specific place that holds significance for the singer.
Line by Line Meaning
I wasn’t prepared to face the final hues
I didn't expect to experience the end of something so vibrant and colorful
To watch the color fade and let go of my youth
Witnessing the fading of that color made me realize that my youth couldn't last forever
Walls were built to hide it all from view
I tried to hide the pain and sadness behind a wall of emotional barriers
Still standing now, still as resolute
Despite everything that has happened, I'm still standing strong and determined
I could hardly muster a goodbye
Saying goodbye was so hard for me that I struggled to do it
Pleading for numbness to arrive
I begged to feel nothing and be numb to the pain
Though it meant I'd never fully heal
But little did I know that numbing the pain would prevent me from ever fully healing
I lost the will to let myself feel
As a result, I lost the capacity to feel emotions and sensations fully
Caledonia
This is a reference to a longing for a mythical Scottish utopia
I wasn’t aware
I didn't have a clue that fate would be so cruel to me
That fate would plunge the knife
I watched helplessly as fate inflicted a deep and painful wound in my soul
I'd watched the color fade out from joys of life
As I saw everything I loved and enjoyed lose its vibrancy, I realized how much I had lost
Walls of guilt can hide it all from view
The walls made me feel guilty about having emotions and keep them hidden
I try to tear them down
Although I attempt to tear down the emotional walls, I'm continuously met with obstacles
Still, they are renewed
Despite my persistence, these walls come back every time, harder and harder to break through
Every day when clarity reveals
When the fog clears and I can see things more clearly, I realize
I’ve lost the will to let myself heal
I'm no longer motivated to heal and to be able to feel again
From the depths of your being
From the innermost part of your soul that connects to the universe
One last moment awake
Before you go into an eternal slumber, it's a chance to take one last look at life
From the depths of my being
For me, it's my inner self that I reach out to Caledonia
I’ve never ceased to escape
I've always dreamed of breaking free from the emotional bonds that hold me back
Caledonia
The mythical Scottish utopia that represents a better and happier life
Caledonia
The reference to Caledonia in the end repeats the hope and longing for a better life.
Writer(s): Mark Alan Lierly, Brett Daniel Campbell, Joseph David Rowland, Devin Holt
Contributed by Isaiah R. Suggest a correction in the comments below.