As I Die
Paradise Lost Lyrics


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As I die...

Stare as eyes uphold me
And wait to see right through
And curse me...
The love has crippled you

Shadows haunt the night
Burning my disguise

Reaping through the truth
Life becomes untrue

Sin the last diversion
My fate will be untouched
Dismissed now,
The anger of a fool

Shadows haunt the night
Forgive me as I die

Taking a chance
And take what you gain
My soul it has no price
Total release is out of harms way
Until I can decide




You punish me, can't you see,
I'm not real.

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Paradise Lost's "As I Die" give a somber and introspective look into the mind of the singer who is facing his own mortality. The opening lines of the song set the tone for the morose lyrics to follow. The singer is in a vulnerable state, "Stare as eyes uphold me And wait to see right through." He feels like he is being watched and judged, and fears that he would be exposed. He asks for forgiveness, one last time, as he is on the verge of dying.


The line, "And curse me... The love has crippled you" suggests that the singer has hurt someone he loves, and they are now cursing him for his actions. He accepts that he has done wrong, and appears to be seeking absolution. The chorus, "Shadows haunt the night, Burning my disguise, Reaping through the truth, Life becomes untrue" conveys a sense of foreboding, that the singer's transgressions are catching up with him.


The lyrics become more self-reflective as the song progresses. The singer sees his sins as a diversion from the real purpose of life. He acknowledges that his fate is untouched, and he will soon pass away without finding redemption. He is desperate for forgiveness, but his plea falls on deaf ears. The song ends with the line, "You punish me, can't you see, I'm not real," expressing the singer's belief that he is unworthy of forgiveness.


Overall, "As I Die" is a dark and emotional song that delves into the themes of mortality, sin, and redemption. The lyrics are open to interpretation and allow the listener to reflect on their own lives and choices.


Line by Line Meaning

Stare as eyes uphold me
As I am dying, people are watching me with curious eyes


And wait to see right through
They wait to discern the truth behind my death


And curse me...
They feel resentment towards me for causing pain in their lives


The love has crippled you
My departure has left those who loved me helpless and broken


Shadows haunt the night
Dark thoughts and fears cloud the night


Burning my disguise
Exposing my true self and my hidden intentions


Reaping through the truth
Uncovering the reality of my life and my actions


Life becomes untrue
The truth uncovers a life that seems to have been a lie


Sin the last diversion
In the end, sin is the only refuge and distraction left


My fate will be untouched
My death will not affect the course of life or fate for anyone else


Dismissed now,
Now that I am gone, my presence is forgotten


The anger of a fool
My foolishness and errors have left some with anger towards me


Forgive me as I die
As I die, I beg for forgiveness from those I have hurt and caused pain


Taking a chance
I took a risk and made choices in my life


And take what you gain
I reaped the rewards and benefits of my actions


My soul it has no price
I do not place a value on my soul, as it is beyond material worth


Total release is out of harms way
Complete freedom from pain and suffering is now achievable only in death


Until I can decide
Until I make the choice to die, I cannot achieve total release


You punish me, can't you see,
My punishment in this life is evident, and I wish for it to end


I'm not real.
I am not living my true self and my life was a facade.




Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: NICHOLAS JOHN HOLMES

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Most interesting comment from YouTube:

@deaddycruel

As I die

Stare as eyes uphold me
And wait to see right through
And curse me... the love has crippled you

Shadows haunt the night
Burning my disguise

Reaping through the truth
Life becomes untrue

Sin the last diversion
My fate will be untouched
Dismissed now, the anger of a fool

Shadows haunt the night
Forgive me as I die

Taking a chance
And take what you gain
My soul it has no price
Total release is out of harm's way
Until I can decide
You push me, can't you see, I'm not real
Tears are flowing free, passing by, as I die



All comments from YouTube:

@Richard-jn6bh

I remember when I heard this first in the 90s as a child. This song will never get old, just like that child.....

@Quantum973

That guitar melody is just so hauntingly beautiful. I can't believe I'm just now getting into paradise lost.

@teleotto

Remember when MTV was about music?

@romeos7829

SpartaMou5 yes now it’s about bikini 👙 pool parties

@HOC666

Yes. Even then it SUCKED. A 2 hour metal show a week and a 2 hour Alt. show. BIG DEAL! LOL

@SignOfTheWarrior

I guess I still have some Headbangers Ball Shows on VHS.

@tomas_horn

ancient history

@ronheeringa6158

@@HOC666 I can still hear those immortal words. "thats Rock....not Metal" .

16 More Replies...

@willong666

Completely legendary band since their "Lost Paradise" album.
One of the pioneers, of british death doom!

@ThreszheR

This IS a magic song, loved it since 1993!

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