Not In Love
Robert Smith Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

I saw your picture hangin' on the back of my door
Won't give you my heart
No one lives there anymore
And we were lovers
Now we can't be friends
Fascination ends
Here we go again
'Cause it's cold outside, when you coming home
'Cause it's hot inside, isn't that enough

I'm not in love

Could it be that time has taken it's toll
Won't take you so far, I am in control
And we were lovers
Now we can't be friends
Fascination ends
Here we go again
'Cause it's cold outside, when you coming home
'Cause it's hot inside, isn't that enough

I'm not in love
I'm not
And we were lovers
Now we can't be friends
Fascination ends
Here we go again
'Cause it's cold outside, when you coming home
'Cause it's hot inside, isn't that enough

I'm not in love
I'm not in love
I'm not in love
I'm not in love
We are not in love
We are not in love
We are not in love




We are not in love
We are not in love

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Robert Smith's song Not In Love describe a relationship that has ended and the realization that the singer is not in love with their former lover anymore. The mention of a picture hanging on the back of the door implies that the relationship is in the past and there is no longer an emotional attachment there. Despite the ending of the relationship, the singer still longs for the presence of their former lover, shown by the lines "Cause it's cold outside, when you coming home / Cause it's hot inside, isn't that enough," but ultimately acknowledges that they are not in love anymore.


The repetition of the lines "I'm not in love / We are not in love" emphasize the finality and clarity of the emotional state of the singer. The mention of being in control in the second verse highlights the idea that the singer has moved on from the past relationship and feels empowered by that decision.


Overall, the song explores themes of nostalgia and the realization that love can change and fade away over time. The contrast between the longing for the presence of a former lover and the acknowledgement that love is no longer present creates a bittersweet sentiment that resonates with many who have experienced the ending of a relationship.


Line by Line Meaning

I saw your picture hangin' on the back of my door
Your photo on my door brings back memories of our past relationship.


Won't give you my heart
I won't allow myself to emotionally open up to you again.


No one lives there anymore
My heart is closed off to love and incapable of giving you what you want.


And we were lovers
We had a romantic relationship in the past.


Now we can't be friends
We cannot maintain a platonic relationship after being romantically involved.


Fascination ends
The initial allure and fascination of our relationship has faded.


Here we go again
Our relationship always ends up being the same, no matter how many times we try.


'Cause it's cold outside, when you coming home
I am lonely and waiting for your return, but still hesitant to fully commit to you.


'Cause it's hot inside, isn't that enough
Our physical attraction to each other is not enough to sustain a relationship now.


I'm not in love
I do not have romantic feelings for you anymore.


Could it be that time has taken it's toll
Perhaps the passage of time has affected our relationship and made it less significant.


Won't take you so far, I am in control
I have learned from our past mistakes and am now in control of my emotions towards you.


We are not in love
Our relationship is not based on love anymore and is unsustainable.




Lyrics Β© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: SERGIO GALLI, ALICE GLASS, MARK ANDREW HOLMES, ETHAN KATH, ROBERT SMITH

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

@maquesim4296

Spring 2016 went through a brutal heartbreak.

This girl and I were very close in HS. We always had a thing for each other and she would always be so happy to see me at school or at parties when we would bump into each other. She would run and jump into my arms and we would always hook up even though we were never single at the same time. I know, not cool, but we were kids and didn't know that what we had between us was special, it never felt wrong. It's rare when two people that are polar opposites fit so well together. We always made up for each others shortcomings with our strengths. Nobody had ever made me feel so wanted and appreciated especially since things at home were practically hell on earth.

Cue the (now 2nd worst) worst time of my life. I ran away from home the day I turned 16 and got my drivers license. I had no choice, the abuse was too much. I was tired of being treated like the family punching bag physically and emotionally. I was already in a massive downward spiral and heading straight for a wall at 100mph. At 16 I moved in with a woman in her 30s that had a child. It felt normal because I lost my virginity to my 7th grade English teacher and continued seeing her in a rapey fwb type of situation. At one point I knew my freedom would soon be taken away so I escaped court mandated rehab at 18 and fled to Mexico where I lived with a pair of prostitutes and worked on a cattle ranch. On weekends I would take tourists on dune buggy rides. I was spinning. I was lost. I was a broken kid. No self worth, no hope for a future. I was sure I was going to die soon and that thought was a great comfort, knowing my pain was going to end.

I got homesick. I missed my city. Ended back up in Chicago after a year in Mexico. 2 months later I'm in shackles and in front of a judge. Sentenced to 18.5 years at 85%. Drug related.

Fast forward a year. I still have a death wish. I'm purposely attacking people you don't ever want to cross or attacking guards hoping that someone would finally manage to put a green light out on me and my pain would come to an end.

I learn that my baby sister oded and died on her 16 birthday. I wile out and end up in seg. The worst pain I've ever felt. Probably still is. I lost the only family that ever loved me.

One day, I get out of seg and I get all these letters that had stacked up in the months and months spent in solitary. It was my best friend from HS. She had been trying to make contact and let me know she thinks about me a lot and I'm not as alone as I think I am. I think I felt hope for the first time in my life. I calm down. Make friends. Get into shape. Get degrees through the mail. Learn about law. Appeal my case and beat it. State didn't even attempt to try me again. I get out the next fucking day after being sure I'd be there well into my 30s just days earlier.

By my second day back in the world, there she was at my house. Left her boyfriend and moved in with me pretty much immediately. Believed in me when everyone else had written me off. Despite being in the tough position of restarting my life from scratch, we had a blast. I had never experienced unconditional love like this from another person except maybe my sister. My scars, my transgressions, my shitty station in life- starting from nothing - none of it mattered. I had one person that believed in me. It was enough. I pushed forward and I started picking up the shattered pieces of my life. We were in blind love. I had never known what it meant to feel important to someone, to have inherent value, to have pride in your accomplishments.

But my demons caught up to me and I rested on my laurels and faded into the doldrums of everyday life. I started drinking. I caused unimaginable damage to our relationship but eventually saw the light and since she had faith in me fresh out of prison, I felt a strength within to where after 5 years of drinking a handle everyday I quit cold turkey. Our relationship rebounded. Things felt like they did in the beginning. I felt hope again. Things were great.... until 6 months later when I broke my phone and popped my sim into the burner phone we used in case of emergency. I find texts between her and another man and overreact. She admits to cheating when I was drinking and also confesses she molested her little brother because she herself was abused. I kick her out. We cut each other off completely. She was my best friend and an unimaginably large part of my life. I kept our 3 cats and stayed in our apartment.

To this day all I see is shadows of the life we built together all over our walls and the ghosts of those same memories in the empty spaces. I've given up on myself again.

After losing my best childhood friend and life partner in her, 6 months later I lost my other best friend. The only other man I've ever said "I love you" to and meant it. We were brothers that suffered immensely together at Tamms CC. We kept each other sane and alive both on the inside and when we got out. I've been a drifting soul since. I don't have any coping mechanisms in my repertoire to deal with this kind of loss and darkness. Once again, I find myself shattered to pieces after trying my hardest but really still being held together with paper mache. I'm on heroin again by choice and I'm ready to die.

I saw her at the gas station for the first time in 7 years the other day. Didn't know it was her, was walking out and a woman caught my eye, which is very rare in the mental state that I'm in. She turned around and it was her. The barely scabbed over wound was ripped right back open. I've been crying and slowly killing myself for 7 years and now the sting and sorrow is as fresh again as day 1. It's as if I'm mourning the recent death of a loved one. We are now 2 strangers and that is an ache I had no idea would be this intense.

When our cats finally die, I'm going to take my life. I'm too damaged to be put back together again. Everyone important to me is gone. I just drift aimlessly through life just waiting the few years until the furry memories of her die and then I can finally be free from the bondage of my own memories - the memories of my father trying to kill me, the memories of all of the abuse, the cigarette burns, the broken bones, the broken hearts, the stupid unreachable dreams that once meant so much to me, the memories of friends and family no longer here and memories of love lost. I'm ready to go... I have no purpose.



@balcerhd6801

I saw your picture hangin' on the back of my door
Won't give you my heart
No one lives there anymore
And we were lovers
Now we can't be friends
Fascination ends
Here we go again
'Cause it's cold outside, when you coming home
'Cause it's hot inside, isn't that enough

I'm not in love

Could it be that time has taken it's toll
Won't take you so far, I am in control
And we were lovers
Now we can't be friends
Fascination ends
Here we go again
'Cause it's cold outside, when you coming home
'Cause it's hot inside, isn't that enough

I'm not in love
I'm not
And we were lovers
Now we can't be friends
Fascination ends
Here we go again
'Cause it's cold outside, when you coming home
'Cause it's hot inside, isn't that enough

I'm not in love
I'm not in love
I'm not in love
I'm not in love
We are not in love
We are not in love
We are not in love
We are not in love
We are not in love



All comments from YouTube:

@incorrect0334

I FINALLY FOUND IT!!!! IT TOOK 9 YEARS!!! I HEARD THIS SONG WHILE PLAYING FIFA ON A TRIP TO ITALY WITH MY GRANDFATHER AND I SPENT THE LAST 9 YEARS TRYING TO FIND THIS SONG!!! DONT GIVE UP AND YOU GET WHAT U WANT!!!

@halfthefunnn

What a wonderful moment this had to be:]

@victorjulianlopezmerino8354

Hey man, you should have found some years ago ...you are worse than inspector gadget

@mlkk7625

Thats so dope

@undefinednotfound

Yes it's possible to get what you want if you won't give up. But not giving up costs time. And sad part is we don't live for eternity.

@RabbiPorkchop

Oh dang, congraguritos! Good job :)

15 More Replies...

@jetjaguar5045

I never get tired of this song

@tarantellelectecnmentalcid321

PHOSPHENISM! (medical meditation that tells how to use colored dots you see whe you close your eyes

@dungeoredungeonsynthcore8712

PHOSPHENISM! (medical meditation that tells how to use colored dots you see whe you close your eyes

@holeindanssock156

Justin Daniels
Ever.

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