Clenching My Booty
Ryan Higa Lyrics

I'm clenching my booty
I am tightening my buttocks muscles to prevent an untimely bowel movement.

There's so much pressure
My bowels are full and there is a lot of internal pressure that needs to be relieved.

7 blocks away, I don't think I'm gonna make it
I am far away from a bathroom and fear that I may not be able to hold it until I find one.

Just feel the texture.
I am experiencing a physical sensation that is indicative of an imminent bowel movement.

Goosebumps on my skin and my body starts to drip sweat
I am experiencing a physical reaction to the stress of needing to go to the bathroom urgently.

But I won't (I won't) give in (give in)
Despite my urgent need, I am committed to holding it until I can find a suitable bathroom.

Even though I'm, Turtle Heading
I am at the stage of needing to having a bowel movement where the tip of the fecal matter is visible at the anus.

And I will, keep on clenching
I will continue to tighten my buttocks muscles in order to hold in my fecal matter.

In a long meeting, when I'm in traffic, on a first date.
I experience the need to pass stool at inconvenient times, such as when I am in a prolonged meeting, stuck in traffic or on a first date.

You know that feeling, at all the worst times, give me a break.
I am frustrated with the timing of my urge to pass stool and wish it would occur at a more opportune moment.

I gotta go doo doo doo doo doo (doodie)
I need to pass stool immediately.

YTF
Abbreviation for 'Yesterday, Today, Forever' which references Ryan's former YouTube comedy group.

I know it's stuck in my butt, it kinda hurts, wrong time and place, I got the squirts
I know that fecal matter is trapped in my rectum and it is causing discomfort. This is an inconvenient time and location to have diarrhea.

It can't get worse, no this ain't fair
I feel that the situation cannot become any more unpleasant and that life is being unfair to me.

Crap, you know I push you up
I am straining to push the fecal matter out of my rectum.

Doo, Doo, don't need 2 girls just need a cup.
Ryan's lyrics jokingly imply that he doesn't need any romantic partners or distractions, only a toilet to relieve himself.

Now the bubble guts is bubbling', because it's full of food
Ryan's stomach is rumbling due to being full of food and the need to pass stool.

Used to say the sky's the limit, now the sky smells like poo
Ryan is making a humorous observation that his aspirations of achieving great things are currently on hold due to his need to go to the bathroom.

Man I had to drop a load, (oh god) that I couldn't do
Ryan is expressing frustration that he needs to have a bowel movement but is currently unable to do so.

Ask me, 'what's that smell man?' I stand back and point at you (you, you)
Ryan makes a humorous observation that if someone were to ask him about a foul smell, he could easily blame it on another person and playfully point at them.

I know that I fart a bit, feel like I need a new pair with no shart on it
Ryan admits that he sometimes passes gas and jokes that he may need to change his underwear if he has an accidental shart.

But, this rap don't have to make sense, as long as it rhymes: just got to mumble it
Ryan is acknowledging that the lyrics to the song don't need to have a clear meaning as long as they rhyme and are fun to sing.

And I know, we went off topic baby: true, true, true
Ryan acknowledges that the song has strayed away from the original theme but he is going to continue to sing it anyway.