Gus: The Theatre Cat
Sarah Brightman Lyrics

Gus is the cat at the theatre door
Gus is a cat who hangs around at the entrance of a theater

His name, as I ought to have told you before Is really Asparagus, but that's a fuss to pronounce
Gus' real name is Asparagus but it's too difficult to say, so he goes by Gus

That we usually call him just Gus
He is usually referred to as Gus

His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake
Gus is in poor physical condition and has a condition that causes his paw to shake

For he was in his youth quite the smartest of cats But no longer a terror to mice or to rats
In his youth Gus was a skillful hunter, but now he's too feeble to pursue prey successfully

For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime Though his name was quite famous, he says, in his time
Gus recognizes that he's no longer as effective as he once was, but he still remembers his days of fame

And whenever he joins his friends at their club (Which takes place at the back of the neighbouring pub)
Gus meets with his friends at a club set up at the back of a nearby pub

He loves to regale them, if someone else pays With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days
Gus enjoys telling stories about his past, especially if someone else is buying the drinks

For he once was a star of the highest degree He has acted with Irving, he's acted with Tree
Gus was a highly regarded performer who worked with notable directors such as Irving and Tree

And he likes to relate his success on the halls Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls But his grandest creation as he loves to tell Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
Gus reminisces about his days performing at theaters, where he was once so successful that he received several cat-calls from the audience. His proudest accomplishment was a role he played called Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell.

I have played in my time every possible part And I used to know seventy speeches by heart
Sir John has acted in many roles and has memorized a large number of speeches

I'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gag And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag
Sir John was skilled in improvisation and had a talent for humor. He was also good at revealing secrets

I knew how to act with my back and my tail With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail
Sir John had mastered physical acting and could learn a role in a short amount of time

I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts Whether I took the lead, or in character parts
Sir John had a beautiful voice that could evoke strong emotions in the audience, whether he was in a starring role or a supporting one

I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell When the curfew was rung then I swung on the bell
Sir John has acted in roles where he played a character who sat by the bedside of a sick child, and also played the character who rang the curfew bell

In the pantomime season, I never fell flat And I once understudied Dick Whittington's cat
Sir John's performances during the pantomime season were always successful. He had also served as an understudy for the role of Dick Whittington's cat

Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat When some actor suggested the need for a cat
Gus likes to brag about having played a small part in a production of East Lynne, and also once walked onstage during a Shakespeare performance when someone said they needed a cat

And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained As we did in the days when Victoria reigned They never get drilled in a regular troupe And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop
Sir John reminisces about the old days when cats were trained to perform in a professional troupe. He thinks that cats today aren't trained as well and just perform simple tricks.

And he says as he scratches himself with his claws
Gus scratches himself with his claws as Sir John is speaking

Well the theatre is certainly not what is was These modern productions are all very well But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell That moment of mystery when I made history As Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
Sir John feels that the theater has changed a lot and that modern productions are fine, but nothing compares to the moment when he achieved fame playing the role of Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell.