Black Stacey
Saul Williams Lyrics

I used to hump my pillow at night.
I used to use my pillow to simulate sexual acts at night.

The type of silent prayer to help myself prepare for the light.
The act of using the pillow was a way to help him process his sexual desires in private and prepare himself for the light of day.

Me and my cousin Duce would rank the girls between one and ten
He and his cousin used to rank the girls they knew based on their physical appearance.

And the highest number got to be my pillows pretend.
The girl who ranked highest was the one he imagined himself having sexual encounters with using his pillow.

Now I apologize to every high ranker.
He apologizes to the girls who ranked high in the ranking system he and his cousin used to use.

But you taught me how to dream and so I also thank you.
Despite the negative aspects of the ranking system, he acknowledges that it did help him learn how to dream and imagine possibilities.

I never had the courage to approach you at school.
He was too insecure to approach the girls he admired at school.

We joked around a lot and I know you thought I dressed cool.
Despite his internal struggles, he was able to make friends and joke around with people, though he was aware that people thought he dressed well mainly to cover up his insecurities.

But I was just covering up all the insecurities that came bubbling up.
He dressed well to cover up the insecurities he felt inside.

My complexion had Me stuck in an emotional rut, 'like the time you Flavor Flaved me and you called me "Yo Chuck, they say You're too black, man".
His dark complexion made him feel stuck in his emotions, like when someone once referred to him as being too black in a negative way.

I think I'm too black. Mom, do you think I'm too black? I think I'm too black.
He struggles with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity related to his dark complexion, asking his mother if he's too black.

They called me Black Stacey.
People referred to him by a derogatory nickname, Black Stacey.

I never got to be myself 'cause to Myself I always was Black Stacey, in polka dots And paisley, a double goose And bally shoes, you thought it wouldn't phase me.
He felt like he was never able to truly be himself because of the label he was given, and despite wearing fashionable clothing, people still made fun of him.

The preachers' Son from Haiti Who rhymed a lot and always got the dance steps at the party. I was Black Stacey.
Despite the teasing, he was still able to overcome his insecurities and be the life of the party, known for his rhyming and dance skills.

Now here's a little Message for you.
The song now shifts to addressing the listener directly.

All you baller playa's got Some insecurities too, that you could cover up, bling it up, cash in And ching ching it up, hope no One will bring it up, lock it down and string it up.
The artist suggests that even those who seem confident and successful may still have insecurities, and that they try to cover them up with material possessions.

Or you can share your essence with us, 'cause everything about you couldn't be rugged And ruff.
Alternatively, the artist suggests that people should be honest and vulnerable, expressing their true selves rather than hiding behind a tough exterior.

And even though you tote a Glock and you're hot on the Streets, if you dare to share your heart, we'll nod our heart to Its beat.
Even if someone is tough and a street-smart hustler, if they're willing to be open and honest about their emotions, others will listen and relate.

And you should do that, if nothing else, to prove That a player like you could keep it honest and true.
It's suggested that being honest and showing vulnerability is a sign of strength and integrity even for those who may be seen as players or hustlers.

Don't mean to call your bluff but Mothafucka that's what I do.
The artist acknowledges that calling out people's defenses and insecurities is what he does best.

You got platinum chain Then, son, I'm probably talking to you. And you can call your gang, your posse and the rest of your crew. And while you're at it get them addicts and the indigent too.
The artist suggests that he's likely talking to people in the rap industry, and encourages them to bring along their friends and acquaintances who are struggling with addiction or poverty.

I plan to have a whole army By the time that I'm through to load their guns with songs they haven't sung.
The ultimate goal of the artist is to empower others through his music, giving voice to those who haven't had a chance to be heard.