Modern Talk
Shel Silverstein Lyrics

Modern talk,
The current style of conversation is inadequate.

Everybody's talkin' modern talk.
Everyone uses the same meaningless language.

Ain't sayin' nothin' with modern talk,
People use modern talk without expressing any significant ideas.

Just zazoo vome voo zazee aza doom va vo
Using gibberish language is the norm in modern talk.

Now picture the scene --
Imagine this situation.

The day is sunny,
It is a beautiful day outside.

A man meets a friend
A man sees his friend on the street.

And he asks for some money,
The man asks his friend for some money.

He says I need five to keep me alive.
He explains to his friend that he needs five dollars urgently.

Friend gives him this kind of jive -- sayin'
The friend responds to him in the same unhelpful modern talk.

Zaa za voo za za voo I can't make it
The friend talks in gibberish to avoid giving him money.

Va za va za voo za va see ya later
The friend leaves him with no solution.

Vome zoo-za vome a-viddle oo vin
His friend disappears quickly without offering any real help.

And he's right back out on the street again.
He still needs money and is unable to get any help.

When a girl gets on the phone, she talks to her lover.
A woman speaks to her partner over the phone.

She says we got troubles that we can't keep covered.
She tells her partner that they have problems they cannot hide.

I just got the news I'm knittin' baby shoes,
She tells him she is pregnant and makes baby shoes.

So call up the preacher now
She asks him to call the priest.

And pay your dues.
She tells him to fulfil his responsibilities.

The guy says:
The man's response is the same as everyone else's.

Zaa za voo za za voo see ya later
He talks nonsense and avoids giving a helpful response.

Va za va za voo za va I got problems
He talks about his problems instead of helping her.

Vome zoo-za vome a-till then
He leaves without helping or offering a solution.

And she's right back out on the street again.
She is still left with her problems and no help.

When a guy gets grabbed by an army recruiter,
A man is stopped by an army recruiter in the street.

He says "We're gonna put you in a khaki suit-a,
The recruiter explains that he will be put in a military uniform.

So don't you lie and don't you cry
The recruiter encourages him not to object or complain.

But take this test to qualify."
Instead, he asks him to complete a test to make him eligible.

The guy says:
The man is unable to comprehend what is happening to him.

[Blubbering noises]
He makes unintelligible sounds that reflect his distress.

When a lady goes down to see her psychiatrist
A woman visits her psychiatrist.

Lies on a couch to give her head a twist
She lies on a couch to explain her thoughts and feelings.

Is it a psychosis or is it a neurosis?
She wonders if she has a psychiatric disorder.

The doctor gives her this diagnosis:
The psychiatrist diagnoses her condition.

Zaa za voo za za voo twenty dollars
He asks for twenty dollars as payment.

Va za va za voo za va I got problems
Like the others, the psychiatrist talks about his problems instead of hers.

Vome zoo-za vome come back next we'n'sday
He sets another appointment for her to come back.

And she's right back out on the street again.
She is still struggling with her condition and no solution.

On TV there's a man sellin' soap
A man is selling soap on a TV commercial.

A man selling hope and a man sellin' dope
Other people on TV commercials are selling hope and drugs.

While chipmunks sing and politicians swing
The commercials include singing animals and political ads.

And everybody's sayin' the same damn thing.
Everyone sounds the same and offers unhelpful solutions.

Zaa za voo za za voo
The useless talking style is repeated.

Va za va za voo za va
The gibberish continues with no real dialogue.

Vome zoo-za vome [start to fade out]
The commercial fades out with the same unintelligible language.

Zaa za voo za za voo
The cycle continues with the same gibberish used everywhere.

Va za va za voo za va
No real solutions or meaning come from the modern talk.

Vome zoo-za vome.
The song ends with no hope for real communication or solutions.