X-Mas In Hell
Sixx:A.M. Lyrics


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December twenty-fifth, nineteen eighty-six
Van Nuys.

Merry Christmas.

That's what people say at Christmas, right?
Except normally they have someone to say it to.
They have friends and family,
And they haven't been crouched naked under a Christmas tree
with a needle in their arm like an insane person in a mansion in Van Nuys.
They're not out of their minds, they're not writing in a diary,
And they're definitely not watching their holiday spirit coagulate in a spoon.
I didn't speak to a single person today.
I thought why should I ruin their fucking Christmas.

I've started a new diary and this time I have a few new reasons.
One, I have no friends left.
Two, so I can read back and remember what I did the day before.
And three, so if I die, at least I leave a nice little suicide note of my life.

It's just me and you, diary. Welcome to my fucking life.

Nobody would believe the shit that happens inside my head, it's haunted.
Now I've come down from the drugs
it seems like a sick play that I saw in a theater somewhere.




Thirty minutes ago, I could've killed someone.
Or better yet, myself.

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of "X-Mas In Hell" by Sixx:A.M. paint a bleak picture of Christmas day for the singer. The song begins with a specific date and place: December 25th, 1986, in Van Nuys. The singer opens with a wry observation that people generally express holiday well-wishes and greetings to each other, but in his case, he has no one to talk to. Instead, he finds himself "crouched naked under a Christmas tree with a needle in [his] arm" in a mansion in Van Nuys. The singer details his sense of isolation, lack of friends or family, and his sense of losing his holiday spirit - a stark contrast to the typical Christmas experience. He even states that he won't speak to anyone so that he doesn't ruin their Christmas.


The lyrics then reveal that the singer has started a new diary, but for different reasons than most people. He writes in it to recall what happened each day, in case he dies, to leave a "suicide note" of his life. The diary serves as his "friend" as he navigates a life of addiction and isolation. The singer then expresses the pain of his mental struggles, saying "Nobody would believe the shit that happens inside my head, it's haunted." Despite coming down from his drug use, his thoughts are still dangerous; he admits that just thirty minutes earlier, he could have easily taken his own life or hurt someone else.


Sixx:A.M.'s "X-Mas In Hell" is a song that speaks to the darker side of the holiday season. The lyrics offer a sense of the singer's emotional isolation and inner turmoil, highlighting the painful experiences of those who lack a sense of belonging or support during the holidays.


Line by Line Meaning

December twenty-fifth, nineteen eighty-six Van Nuys.
The singer sets the Christmas story stage with these lines, giving the date and place of the events.


Merry Christmas.
The singer sarcastically echoes the common Christmas greeting.


That's what people say at Christmas, right?
The singer reflects on the typical Christmas pleasantries.


Except normally they have someone to say it to.
The artist acknowledges the loneliness of the holiday season.


They have friends and family,
The artist contrasts their situation with the typical holiday gathering.


And they haven't been crouched naked under a Christmas tree with a needle in their arm like an insane person in a mansion in Van Nuys.
The singer paints a disturbing image of their situation, highlighting their addiction and isolation.


They're not out of their minds, they're not writing in a diary,
Drawing attention to their abnormal behavior, the singer explains that most people aren't as troubled as they are.


And they're definitely not watching their holiday spirit coagulate in a spoon.
The artist describes their drug use in graphic terms.


I didn't speak to a single person today.
The artist relays their isolation from others on Christmas Day.


I thought why should I ruin their fucking Christmas.
The artist contemplates their impact on others and decides to keep their inner turmoil to themselves.


I've started a new diary and this time I have a few new reasons.
The singer reveals their new diary and the reasons behind keeping it.


One, I have no friends left.
The artist acknowledges their lack of meaningful connections with others.


Two, so I can read back and remember what I did the day before.
The singer uses their diary as a memory aid.


And three, so if I die, at least I leave a nice little suicide note of my life.
The singer hints at their suicidal thoughts and intentions.


It's just me and you, diary. Welcome to my fucking life.
The singer addresses their diary and bitterly welcomes it into their life.


Nobody would believe the shit that happens inside my head, it's haunted.
The artist laments the darkness of their thoughts and experiences.


Now I've come down from the drugs it seems like a sick play that I saw in a theater somewhere.
The artist reflects on the distorted view of reality that their drug use created.


Thirty minutes ago, I could've killed someone. Or better yet, myself.
The singer describes the extreme emotional state they were in just before writing in their diary.




Lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: DARREN JAY ASHBA, DJ ASHBA, NIKKI SIXX

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

@BetterNoiseMusic

Best Christmas Rock Songs ➤ https://bit.ly/BNMXmas 🎄🎶

@zparks0123

Here we are at Christmas yet again. Its a rough time of year for almost everyone. My thoughts go out to those who have lost the battle with addiction and those still fighting every day to over come it. Keep your head up! Don't feel like you can't get help. Theres always someone there to listen if nothing else. Happy Holidays.

@nicholasberinger8279

The best music really does come from people's darkest experiences.

@The666Miraculix

We knew we had something; you could feel it, the hairs stood up on your arms, it just felt so different. We didn't know what it was, but we liked it. I just came up with this riff for 'Black Sabbath'. As soon as I played that first riff we went: 'Oh God, that's really great. But what is it? I don't know!' Just a simple thing but it had a mood. Only later did I learn that I had used what they call the Devil's interval, a chord progression that was so dark that in the Middle Ages playing it was forbidden by the Church. I had no idea; it was just something that I had felt inside. It was almost like it had been forced out of me, these things were coming up just like that. Then everybody started putting bits to it and afterwards we thought it was amazing. Really strange, but good. We were all shocked, but we knew that we had something there. [...] We always thought there was something there that led us into this music that we were playing. I played that 'Black Sabbath' riff straight off, dang-dáng-dang, and that was it. It just came up, as a lot of my riffs have. It was like somebody was there, saying: 'Play that!' Something or somebody was providing ideas and guidance from some other dimension, like an invisible fifth band member ...
- Tony Iommi (Black Sabbath)

@tattoogypsy1970

Because we feed on the feeling . We all are the same

@myskatt333

My heart hurts a little every time I listen to this song. I love it because it paints a great picture of addiction for people who don't suffer from it. Helped me understand how heartbreaking the disease is.

@brandonbitsilli1232

Have you read his book "The Heroin Diaries"? If so this album will make sense and also get a deeper scarier look at what he went thru as a junkie on H. Great read great song. This song is actually the first diary entry he made.

@woodrowwoody4463

If anyone ever wondered what an addict goes through or lives each and everyday then listen to this song...what a masterpiece

@nathanepperheimer4050

One of my all time favorite albums. Listen to it end to end every single time.

@zacfossum3389

This is amazing. I'll always look up to Nikki as a role model for all he's overcome

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