Fiberglass
Tattle Tale Lyrics

Looking forward but i'm facing back
Despite trying to move forward, I'm constantly haunted by my past.

I'm naked, safe
I'm exposing myself vulnerably, but at least I'm protected by my mental and emotional barriers.

I'm wrapped in fiberglass
I'm encased in a shell of artificial strength.

And ash
In addition to my glass exterior, I'm also fragile and burned out internally like ashes.

See me in
Recognize me for who I am and accept me.

Push you out
Despite needing someone, I push them away out of fear and self-preservation.

I need someone
There's a part of me that desires connection and intimacy.

No I don't
But at the same time, I struggle with the fear of getting too close to someone.

I push and I pull and I kick and I scream and I want to be with you
My mixed feelings cause me to act out in confusion and fear, but at the core I yearn for closeness.

I push and I pull and I kick and I scream and this is how I need to be with you
Although my behavior is contradictory, this is how I express my need to be close to you.

Hear me adhere to me
Listen to me and follow my lead.

Close your ears to me
But at the same time, keep yourself from hearing my vulnerability.

Don't come near me
I push others away once they get too close to me emotionally.

Listen
Pay attention to me and what I need.

Stay away
But also please maintain your distance for my own protection.

Three minutes
I'm only allowing you a brief window of time to connect with me before retreating back to my shell.

My paradox day
The push-pull nature of my relationships is confusing and tiring me out.

'Cause I, I'm hiding
I tend to hide my true feelings and needs.

I don't mind
I'm taking some level of comfort in my guardedness, but at the same time it's causing me pain.

I am dying
My emotional and mental state is causing me to feel like I'm slowly diminishing.

Hear what I say
Listen carefully to my words and their meanings.

Maybe I don't ever say what I mean
But at the same time, I'm aware that I can be confusing in my communication.

Maybe I wasn't sure what I meant
I'm still trying to figure myself out and understand my own actions and feelings.

But this whole world is just a paradox anyway
The world is a confusing place, and my own struggles to understand myself are just a reflection of that.

I'm sleeping
I'm metaphorically asleep to my own emotions and needs at times.

I'm waking
But at other times, I'm more aware of my true emotions and desires.

In my house of glass
I'm living in a world where I'm always visible and exposed, but also protected.

I'm breathing in
But at times, the very barriers that protect me also make it hard for me to breathe and connect.

I'm choking in the fiberglass
I'm suffocating in my own protective barrier.

But I... I'm ok, I'm ok...
Despite it all, I'm telling myself that I'm okay and trying to ignore the pain beneath the surface.

I... I don't mind
I'll continue to maintain my walls because it feels safer this way, even though I'm dying inside.

I'm dying
But at the same time, I'm acknowledging that my internal barriers and struggles are causing me pain.

I... I'm about to
And I'm reaching the point where I can no longer continue to suppress my true feelings and needs.