The Portland, OR quartet made up of Ryan Carroll (vocals), Eric Block (guitars), Russ Ellis (bass) and Paul Hardie (drums) have a unique chemistry fueled by their shared love of motorcycles, guitar pedals and building things (like their practice space, personalized recording equipment, and lights!)
Ryan and Eric have been performing together since 2003. The duo launched Ten Million Lights in 2009 after the implosion of their band Saturna during a west coast tour with Bob Mould. Soon they welcomed Emily Logan (Urban Wildlife) into the fold and in 2010 the trio debuted their self-titled record. They began regularly gracing stages of the Pacific Northwest like Doug Fir, Wonder Ballroom, and The Star Theater in Portland, as well as Neumos and The Sunset Tavern in Seattle opening for bands like The Shivas, Pete International Airport (Pete from The Dandy Warhols), The High Violets, and shortly thereafter enlisted Russ Ellis (The Scotch Greens) on bass and drummer Scott Smith (The Pink Snowflakes).
In 2015 they went into Revolver Studios (Ty Segal, King Tuff, Joel Gion, David J) to begin work on their follow up LP, Sour Oranges which was mixed by Russ’s brother Brian Ellis (Astra, Black Moth Super Rainbow) and mastered by Timothy Stollenwerk (Wooden Shjips, Crocodiles, Moon Duo). Ten Million Lights released Ephemera, an EP compiling remixes and covers from the three-piece era and in 2018, the five-piece released the Bellicose EP, the Sour Oranges full-length and the Drummer’s Dream EP featuring covers the band performed at Nuggets Night. Later that year, Scott returned to his native Olympia, and Emily decamped to Seattle. Ten Million Lights responded by recruiting Paul Hardie (The Separatists, The Addiction Dream); a drummer with the gusto to help take the band in a heavier direction.
In the spring of 2020, sequestered in the shadows of the global COVID-19 pandemic and the progresive movements brought on by social injustice, 10ML finished the Shine So Bright EP, showcasing an emotional rollercoaster of desperation, rage, hope and finally peace.
Falling Apart
Ten Million Lights Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Pushing buttonsElectrocution
This old heartIs falling apart
Cut your shirtPaddles to skinFeels like a sin
ReanimationDefibrillateI'm out of my mind
Move into the whiteCome into the light againMove into the light
This falling apartBellicose heartI'm not gonna wait
Machine gunHeart attack trackRat-a-tat-tatRibcage cracks
Move into the lightInto the sky (clouds) againMove into the white
I don't know why you get so down boyI don't know why you get so downI don't know why you get so down boyI don't know why you're out of your mind
The lyrics of Ten Million Lights's song "Falling Apart" depict a sense of emotional and physical breakdown, as well as a yearning for rejuvenation and resuscitation. The song opens with imagery of buttons being pushed and electrocution, setting the stage for a theme of distress and turmoil. The phrase "This old heart is falling apart" suggests a deep sense of weariness and vulnerability, as if the singer's emotional core is crumbling under the weight of their experiences.
As the song progresses, the imagery becomes more intense, with mentions of cutting shirts and paddles to skin, creating a visceral and almost violent sensation. The reference to reanimation and defibrillation conveys a desperate attempt to revive something that feels lifeless or lost. The repetition of the phrase "I'm out of my mind" further emphasizes the singer's sense of disarray and confusion, hinting at a mental and emotional unraveling.
The juxtaposition of darkness and light is a prominent motif in the lyrics, as the singer longs to move into the white and come into the light again. This contrast between darkness and light symbolizes a desire for clarity, renewal, and a fresh start amidst the chaos and decay. The use of medical imagery such as a machine gun heart attack track and a triple bypass suggests a sense of urgency and the need for drastic intervention to address the singer's deteriorating condition.
The refrain questioning why the singer gets so down and feels out of their mind highlights a sense of disconnect and incomprehension. The repetition of these lines underscores a feeling of bewilderment and frustration, as if the singer is unable to fully grasp the reasons behind their internal turmoil. Overall, the lyrics of "Falling Apart" paint a vivid portrait of emotional breakdown and the search for redemption and healing in the face of adversity.
Line by Line Meaning
Pushing buttonsElectrocution
Trying to manipulate the situation but only causing harm to oneself
This old heartIs falling apart
My emotions are crumbling and failing me
Cut your shirtPaddles to skinFeels like a sin
Performing drastic measures to revive a dying relationship that feels wrong
ReanimationDefibrillateI'm out of my mind
Desperately trying to revive something that is already gone, feeling lost
Move into the whiteCome into the light againMove into the light
Finding clarity and moving towards positivity and growth
This falling apartBellicose heartI'm not gonna wait
My broken heart is full of aggression and I refuse to be patient
Machine gunHeart attack trackRat-a-tat-tatRibcage cracks
My emotions are overwhelming and causing physical pain
Triple bypassLazarusIs raising those bones
Reviving what was thought to be dead, coming back to life
Move into the lightInto the sky (clouds) againMove into the white
Returning to a state of peace and serenity, rising above
I don't know why you get so down boyI don't know why you get so downI don't know why you get so down boyI don't know why you're out of your mind
Expressing confusion and concern over someone's persistent negative state of mind
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: Ryan Carroll, Eric Block, Russ Ellis
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind